Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and use a clear topic sentence. State the place and its region without extra or unclear words. Avoid mistakes like 'IT' which is irrelevant here and use correct prepositions.

例: My hometown is Jhunjhunu, a district in northern Rajasthan, India.

提案: Organize your answer: give one topic sentence naming what you like, then add 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect grammar (use singular/plural correctly).

例: I like the historic architecture in Jhunjhunu; many old havelis feature intricate frescoes. In addition, the town has a thriving handicraft industry and well-known Marwari trading families, which give it a lively market culture.

提案: Answer directly with a clear time phrase and one supporting detail. Use the present perfect for duration (e.g., 'I have lived there since...') or a duration expression. Avoid hesitations and grammar errors.

例: I have lived in Jhunjhunu since I was a child; I completed my schooling there up to twelfth grade.

提案: Start with a clear opinion, then give two specific reasons linked logically. Use linking words (for example, therefore) and correct modal verbs. Avoid vague phrases like 'a lot of things are there'.

例: Yes, it is. For example, Jhunjhunu offers several job opportunities in trade and small businesses, and good schools and colleges for further study. Therefore, young people can develop practical skills and plan their careers locally.

× My hometown is Jhunjhunu district of Rajasthan, IT, northern part of India.

✓ My hometown is the Jhunjhunu district of Rajasthan in the northern part of India.

Missing definite article before district and incorrect preposition. Use 'the' with a specific district and 'in' to indicate location within 'the northern part'. Suggestion: 'the Jhunjhunu district' and 'in the northern part of India'.

× My hometown is famous for historical buildings and architecture are from Jhunjhunu and there are lot of crafts, crafts also with handicrafts business also and they're famous for marwari business also.

✓ My hometown is famous for its historical buildings and architecture, and there are a lot of crafts and handicraft businesses; people are also known for Marwari business.

Multiple errors: missing possessive adjective 'its' and incorrect sentence structure and repetition. 'a lot of' requires 'a'. 'Handicrafts business' should be 'handicraft businesses'. Capitalize 'Marwari'. Combine ideas with conjunctions and punctuation to avoid run-on sentence. Suggestion: use 'its historical buildings and architecture' and 'a lot of crafts and handicraft businesses'.

× I'm leaving from my childhood whenever I when when I was I am child that time I am from that time I am living there and I am complete my 12th standard from my hometown also.

✓ I have lived there since my childhood; I completed my 12th standard in my hometown.

Confused tense and incorrect continuous present 'I'm leaving' used instead of present perfect 'I have lived'. 'Since my childhood' requires present perfect. 'I completed' is simple past for a finished action. 'from my hometown' should be 'in my hometown'. Suggestion: use 'I have lived there since my childhood' and 'I completed my 12th standard in my hometown'.

× Yes, it is. There are lot of there are lot of jobs for instance and education level is also good.

✓ Yes, it is. There are a lot of jobs, for instance, and the education level is also good.

Missing 'a' in 'a lot of' and repetition 'There are lot of there are lot of'. 'Education level' as a specific concept needs 'the'. Suggestion: remove repetition, add 'a', and use 'the education level'.

× Youngsters can may join it and after that they they realize their capabilities to improve their skills.

✓ Youngsters can join it, and after that they realize their capabilities and improve their skills.

Incorrect modal combination 'can may' — choose one modal ('can'). Repetition 'they they'. 'Realize' and 'improve' in present simple is acceptable to describe general truths. Suggestion: use 'can join' and 'they realize their capabilities and improve their skills'.

× So lot of things are there for instance.

✓ So, a lot of opportunities are available, for instance.

Awkward word order and missing 'a' in 'a lot of'. 'Things' is vague; 'opportunities are available' is clearer in context. Suggestion: restructure to 'a lot of opportunities are available' and optionally add an example after 'for instance'.