Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Use a clear topic sentence and correct minor grammar (article and word order). You can give one brief additional detail (e.g., distance from a major city) using a linking phrase.

例: I come from Jalmana, a small town in Karnal district in northern India. It’s about 20 kilometres from Karnal city, so we can easily access bigger markets and hospitals.

提案: Organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Correct grammar (articles, word order) and reduce repetition. Use specific examples of facilities or friendly behaviours.

例: I like everything about my hometown, especially the friendly people. For example, neighbours often help each other during festivals and emergencies, and we also have good basic facilities like a local hospital and a school, which make daily life convenient.

提案: Use the correct tense and a concise structure: state the duration in a single clear sentence, then add one short supporting detail. Avoid repeating verbs unnecessarily.

例: I have lived there since I was born and still live with my family. Because I grew up there, I know the town very well and have many childhood friends.

提案: Give a clearer opinion and support it with specific reasons and a linking word. Avoid vague phrases and unfinished sentences. State current advantages, then mention possible future limitations if relevant.

例: At present, my hometown is fairly good for young people because there are schools and colleges nearby, and community centres where they can socialise. However, in the future, many youngsters may need to move to larger cities for specialised jobs or higher education.

× I live in a small town Jalmana, which is in Karnal district in the northern part of India.

✓ I live in a small town, Jalmana, which is in the Karnal district in the northern part of India.

Add commas around the town name as an apposition and use the definite article 'the' before 'Karnal district' because districts are specific places. Also add a comma after 'town' to separate the appositive. Suggestion: Use commas for appositives and 'the' before specific geographic areas like districts.

× I like most I like all the things about my hometown because all the basic facilities are available in my hometown.

✓ Mostly, I like all the things about my hometown because all the basic facilities are available there.

The original has redundant phrasing and incorrect word order. 'I like most I like' is ungrammatical; use 'Mostly' or 'What I like most is'. Also avoid repeating 'my hometown' twice; replace the second occurrence with 'there'. Suggestion: Use 'Mostly' at the start or rephrase as 'What I like most is...' and replace repeated nouns with pronouns.

× But the thing it which I like most is friendly nature people which help in every situation.

✓ But what I like most is the friendly nature of the people, who help in every situation.

Incorrect pronoun and relative clause usage: 'the thing it which I like most' should be 'what I like most'. Use 'the friendly nature of the people' to show possession and 'who' for people, not 'which'. Also add commas to set off the relative clause. Suggestion: Use 'what' to introduce a noun clause, use 'who' for people, and 'the ... of the people' to express characteristics.

× I lived since my birth and I lived with my family.

✓ I have lived there since my birth and I have lived with my family.

Use present perfect 'have lived' with 'since' to show an action that started in the past and continues to the present. Also include 'there' to specify location. Suggestion: Use present perfect with 'since' or give a specific past time if using simple past.

× Hometown is a good place for young people, but I can't say that is in the future.

✓ My hometown is a good place for young people, but I can't say whether it will be in the future.

Missing possessive article 'My' before 'hometown'. The clause 'I can't say that is in the future' is unclear; use 'I can't say whether it will be in the future' to indicate uncertainty about the future. Suggestion: Always include the possessive or article with 'hometown' and use 'whether it will' for future uncertainty.

× It helps to the young people because we will, because young people will go for the studies.

✓ It helps young people because they will go for further studies.

Do not use 'to' after 'helps' when the object is people: say 'helps young people'. 'Go for the studies' is incorrect; use 'go for further studies' or 'pursue higher education'. Also remove the broken 'we will' fragment and use 'they' to refer to young people. Suggestion: Use 'helps people' without 'to' and choose natural collocations like 'pursue further studies' or 'go on to higher education'.