Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct geographic phrasing. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the hometown, then add one or two brief supporting details (province, location, current residence). Avoid filler words and grammar errors (e.g., prepositions and tense).

例: My hometown is Circuit, a small town in Canali Province in western Nepal. I grew up there, but I now live in Kathmandu for my university studies.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and expand with specific examples and linking words. Correct grammar (plural verbs and pronouns) and avoid vague phrases like 'as I grew dear.' Use 1–2 supporting details showing why it's peaceful and how relatives contribute to your sense of home.

例: I like my hometown mainly because of its peaceful atmosphere and close family ties. For example, there are quiet streets and green fields where I used to play, and my relatives live nearby, so family gatherings are frequent and comforting.

提案: Answer directly with a clear time period and correct tense. Use one concise sentence for the length and one brief sentence explaining when you moved, avoiding unclear phrasing and filler words.

例: I lived in Circuit until I was 22, so I spent all my childhood and early adulthood there. I moved to Kathmandu at 22 to pursue higher education.

提案: State your opinion clearly in the topic sentence and support it with specific reasons and comparisons using linking words (e.g., 'because', 'for example', 'compared to'). Correct plural and article usage ('many opportunities'). Keep it to two sentences max.

例: I don't think it's a good place for young people because there are not many job or study opportunities. For example, compared to Kathmandu, there are fewer colleges and businesses, so young people often move to the capital for work or education.

× Actually my hometown is Circuit which is in Canali province and it is in western part of Nepal.

✓ Actually, my hometown is Circuit, which is in Canali Province, and it is in the western part of Nepal.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'western part' and missing commas. Use 'the western part' because we refer to a specific region. Also capitalize 'Province' as part of a proper name and add commas around the relative clause for clarity. Suggestion: include 'the' for specific geographical regions and punctuate relative clauses.'

× But nowadays I'm living here in Kathmandu for my studies.

✓ But nowadays I live here in Kathmandu for my studies.

Present progressive 'I'm living' implies a temporary or current action but with 'nowadays' simple present 'I live' is more natural for a current habitual situation. Use simple present for general states; if emphasizing temporary, 'I'm living' can be acceptable but then 'for my studies' fits ongoing situation—both are possible. Suggestion: prefer 'I live' for habitual/current residence.'

× What I like most about my hometown is a peaceful environment and my relatives who makes me feel like home.

✓ What I like most about my hometown is the peaceful environment and my relatives who make me feel at home.

Use plural verb 'make' to agree with plural subject 'relatives' (subject-verb agreement, also relates to ID 27). Use definite article 'the' before 'peaceful environment' because it refers to a specific environment. Use idiomatic expression 'feel at home' instead of 'feel like home.' Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and use set phrases.'

× And as I grew dear, my childhood was so related to that place.

✓ And as I grew up, my childhood was closely connected to that place.

'Grew dear' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'grew up.' 'Was so related to' is unidiomatic; use 'closely connected to' or 'strongly linked to.' Also adverb placement: 'closely' modifies 'connected.' Suggestion: use correct phrasal verbs and natural collocations.'

× Actually I lived there a long time period like.

✓ Actually, I lived there for a long period of time.

Awkward word order and missing preposition 'for' with durations; 'a long time period like' is ungrammatical. Use 'for a long period of time' or 'for a long time.' Suggestion: use 'for' + duration expressions.'

× At the age of 21, I was living there.

✓ At the age of 21, I was living there.

This sentence can be correct if describing past continuous situation. No grammatical correction needed. Explanation: Past continuous 'was living' correctly describes a past ongoing state. Suggestion: keep as is when emphasizing duration during that past time.'

× At 22, I'm I went here for my studies.

✓ At 22, I came here for my studies.

The original mixes present and past and has extra words 'I'm I.' Use simple past 'I came' or 'I went' depending on speaker perspective; 'came here' is natural when speaker is now here. Also include 'at 22' or 'when I was 22.' Suggestion: use consistent past tense and correct pronoun placement.'

× Well, for me, I think like that's not quite good for young people because there is not that much opportunities.

✓ Well, for me, I think that it's not very good for young people because there are not that many opportunities.

Use 'that' instead of filler 'like.' Use contraction 'it's' or 'that is.' Use 'there are' for plural 'opportunities' and 'that many' instead of 'that much' for countable nouns. Suggestion: avoid filler words and match quantifier to noun countability.'

× So as compared to capital city, this is not.

✓ So compared to the capital city, it is not.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'capital city.' Also use subject 'it' for clarity instead of 'this.' The fragment 'this is not' is vague; complete as 'it is not' or 'it is not as good.' Suggestion: include articles and complete comparisons ('not as good as the capital city').'