Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy and clarity. Begin with a clear topic sentence, correct articles and prepositions, and avoid redundancy. Use one or two supporting details linked logically. For example, correct “comes under district” to “is in the district of”, remove “So” at sentence start or replace with a linking phrase, and fix “the atmosphere is a very peaceful there” to “the atmosphere is very peaceful.”

例: My hometown is in the Kurukshetra district and is surrounded by green fields. Because of the open farmland and trees, the atmosphere is very peaceful and quiet, which makes it a pleasant place to grow up.

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence and then add specific examples. Use linking words (for example, because, so, and) correctly and complete sentences. Also correct minor grammar (e.g., “live like part of a big family” and finish the final clause).

例: I like the greenery most because it makes the atmosphere relaxing. In addition, the people are very friendly and supportive; for example, neighbours often help each other during festivals or when someone is unwell.

提案: Use the correct tense and a direct answer. The examiner asked 'How long have you lived there?' so respond with a precise time expression and avoid question forms. Combine reasons into one or two clear sentences with linking words.

例: I have lived there since my childhood — for about 20 years — because it is my birthplace and most of my close family still live there.

提案: Be specific and grammatically correct. Provide one clear reason, then add a supporting example with correct noun forms and tenses. Fix plural/singular (playground, sports) and complete the example (a new football field or facility).

例: Yes, it is a good place for young people because there are parks and playgrounds for various sports. For instance, last year the village authority opened a new football field which many children now use for regular practice.

× So it's the atmosphere is a very peaceful there.

✓ So the atmosphere there is very peaceful.

Redundant use of 'it's' plus 'the' caused an incorrect 'there is' construction. Use 'the atmosphere there is' to state existence/description correctly. Remove the unnecessary 'it's' and place 'there' after the noun for natural word order.

× They live like a part of a big family, they don't fight with each other, they cooperate with.

✓ They live as part of a big family; they don't fight with each other and they cooperate with one another.

'Like a part' is incorrect here; use 'as part' to indicate role. The clause 'they cooperate with' is incomplete because the object is missing; add 'one another' or 'each other'. Also combine clauses correctly (semicolon or conjunction) to avoid comma splice.

× Will I have been living there since my childhood? Because it's my birthplace and also my family lives there so that's why.

✓ I have been living there since my childhood because it's my birthplace and my family still lives there.

The student used an incorrect future perfect continuous question form 'Will I have been living' instead of the present perfect continuous 'I have been living' to express an action continuing from the past to now. Also, avoid starting a sentence with 'Because' as a fragment; combine into one sentence and use 'still' to clarify ongoing residence.

× Yes, I would say it is a good home place for younger children because there is also a park or a playgrounds for a different sports.

✓ Yes, I would say it is a good place for young children because there is also a park or a playground for different sports.

Several article and count noun errors: 'a good home place' is awkward—use 'a good place'. 'Younger children' is better as 'young children'. 'A park or a playgrounds' mixes singular and plural; choose 'a park or a playground' or 'parks or playgrounds'. 'For a different sports' should be 'for different sports' (no article and plural noun). Adjust articles and singular/plural to match nouns.

× Like last year our our village authority has opened a new football.

✓ Last year our village authority opened a new football ground.

Using present perfect 'has opened' with a specific past time 'last year' is incorrect; use simple past 'opened'. 'Our our' is a repetition error. 'A new football' is incomplete; likely 'football ground' or 'football field' is intended. Correct noun choice and tense accordingly.