Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a concise, grammatically correct location answer with one clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid redundancy and sentence fragments. Use linking words if you add details.

例: My hometown is a city in southern China. For example, it is known for its scenic rivers and a wide variety of regional foods, which attract many visitors.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence naming one or two things you like, then give specific supporting details and link them logically. Remove filler phrases and avoid short, disconnected fragments.

例: I like the scenery and food in my hometown. For example, the riverside parks are peaceful for walking, and local street vendors sell unique snacks that make me feel happy and satisfied.

提案: Answer directly with a clear time expression (e.g., 'I have lived there for X years' or 'I lived there until...'), then add one specific supporting detail about memories or people using linking words. Avoid incorrect tense and unclear phrases.

例: I have lived there for about five years. During that time, I have made many close friends and shared important family celebrations, which is why I love the place.

提案: Give a clear opinion first (yes or no), then support it with two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., 'because' or 'however'). Use correct vocabulary ('job opportunities', 'educational facilities') and avoid repetitions and unclear fragments.

例: No, I don't think it is a good place for young people because there are few job opportunities and limited higher-education institutions. As a result, many young people move to larger cities to study or work.

× My hometown is a beautiful city is located in the South S where in China because there is a beautiful scenery and have all kinds of food for you I.

✓ My hometown is a beautiful city located in the south of China because it has beautiful scenery and all kinds of food.

The original sentence has multiple structure problems: redundant 'is' ('city is located') and misplaced clause order. 'South S where in China' is incorrect preposition and word order. 'There is a beautiful scenery' should be 'it has beautiful scenery' (count/uncount and subject clarity). 'and have all kinds of food for you I' has wrong pronoun and verb agreement. Suggestion: Break into a clear main clause plus reasons, use 'located in the south of China', use 'it has' for possession, and use 'scenery' uncountable. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I like about all kinds of scenery, food, culture and buildings.

✓ I like all kinds of scenery, food, culture, and buildings.

The verb 'like' should not be followed by the preposition 'about' in this context. Remove 'about' to express preferences directly. Also add commas for a clear list. Grammar problem type ID:11

× For example. When I go there, I just feel a sense of happiness and satisfaction for me.

✓ For example, when I go there, I feel a sense of happiness and satisfaction.

'For example.' is a sentence fragment; combine it with the following clause. 'Just' is unnecessary and weakens statement; 'for me' is redundant after 'feel'. Keep tense simple present to express general truth. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I already live in Zero for a few years ago.

✓ I already lived in Zero a few years ago.

The sentence mixes present tense 'live' with the past time marker 'a few years ago'. Use past simple 'lived' to match 'ago'. Also 'already' is unnecessary with 'ago' but can be removed; keep 'a few years ago' to indicate past time. Grammar problem type ID:5

× They this is however so many memories with my close friends and my close parents so I really like living there sometimes.

✓ However, I have so many memories with my close friends and family, so I really like living there sometimes.

Original has unclear subject 'They this is' and awkward 'close parents'. Use 'I have' to state possession of memories and 'family' instead of 'close parents'. Keep conjunctions in correct order: 'However, ... so ...'. Grammar problem type ID:26

× To me, honestly, I I don't just think this is a good place for young people because my city's my city is no business meant and not education for young people to girls up and.

✓ To be honest, I don't think my city is a good place for young people because it lacks business opportunities and educational resources for them.

Original contains repetition 'I I', incorrect phrase 'I don't just think' (meaning unclear), and garbled clauses 'my city's my city is no business meant'. Replace with clear statement 'I don't think my city is a good place' and use 'lacks' to show absence. 'Business opportunities' and 'educational resources' are idiomatic; 'for them' refers back to young people. Remove 'to girls up and' which is nonsensical. Grammar problem type ID:26