Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response slightly more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence (where), then one or two supporting details. Avoid redundancy (e.g., 'a vibrant, crowded place to live' + 'I like it here' can be combined). Use a linking phrase if adding detail.

例: I’m from Tehran, in the southern district of Sharake. It’s a vibrant, densely populated area with lively markets and parks, which is why I enjoy living there.

提案: Open with a direct topic sentence naming the thing you like, then add concise supporting details using linking words. Replace repetition ('I can') with varied sentence structures and add a specific example or effect.

例: The thing I like most about my hometown is its public transport system. For example, buses, taxis and a subway network make commuting easy and quick, so I can reach work or friends’ houses without delays.

提案: Use correct tense and reduce filler words (uh). Start with a clear topic sentence stating duration, then add one concise supporting detail. Correct grammar: use present perfect for actions continuing to present (have lived). Avoid absolute statements like 'cannot go anywhere else' unless clarified.

例: I have lived there since I was born, and both my parents grew up in the same district. Because of that long connection, we feel very settled and comfortable staying there.

提案: Start with a direct answer then give two specific supporting points using linking words. Vary vocabulary (e.g., 'young people' -> 'youngsters' or 'young adults') and tighten phrasing. Avoid overly general statements like 'you see a number of young people'—give a clearer picture.

例: Yes, it is. For one, there are many entertainment options such as cinemas, malls and cafes; moreover, popular public spaces and affordable venues attract lots of young adults, so the city has a lively youth culture.

× There are several things that I like about my hometown, but if I have to choose one, I'd say it's transportation system.

✓ There are several things that I like about my hometown, but if I have to choose one, I'd say it's the transportation system.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'transportation system'. Use 'the' when referring to a specific system known in context. Suggestion: add 'the' to specify the particular system in your hometown.

× I can go wherever I want easily.

✓ I can go wherever I want easily.

No correction needed for grammar. Sentence is grammatically correct: 'can' modal + base verb 'go' is correct and fits present ability. No change required.

× I can choose bus, taxi or even subway and everything is nearby.

✓ I can choose a bus, a taxi, or even the subway, and everything is nearby.

Missing articles before countable singular nouns and missing definite article before 'subway'. Use 'a' with singular countable nouns ('a bus', 'a taxi') and 'the' for a specific subway system. Also add commas for clarity.

× I lived there since I was born and even my parents lived there, uh, since they were born.

✓ I have lived there since I was born, and even my parents have lived there since they were born.

Use present perfect ('have lived') with 'since' to indicate an action continuing from the past to the present. Simple past 'lived' incorrectly suggests a finished action. Change both verbs to present perfect for consistency.

× So this, uh, is a long time that we live in that hometown and we are, uh, adapted to that place and we cannot go anywhere else.

✓ So this is a long time that we have lived in that hometown, and we are adapted to that place and cannot go anywhere else.

Use present perfect 'have lived' with 'a long time' to indicate duration up to now. Remove filler 'uh' and unnecessary 'we' before 'cannot' for conciseness. 'Adapted to' is correct but pair with present perfect 'have become adapted' or keep 'are adapted' as a state; here 'are adapted' is acceptable.

× There are plenty of places in my hometown that can entertain young people like cinemas, malls, cafes and youth are so used to this place and every time in the day you go out you see a number of young people hanging out.

✓ There are plenty of places in my hometown that can entertain young people, like cinemas, malls and cafes, and young people are so used to this place that whenever you go out during the day you see many young people hanging out.

Several issues: 'youth' as a noun is awkward here—use 'young people' for clarity. Run-on sentence needs commas and a conjunction; add 'that' after 'so used to this place' to connect clauses. Replace 'every time in the day' with 'whenever you go out during the day' and 'a number of' with 'many' for natural phrasing.