Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fix grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid contradictions and repetition.

例: I come from Baghdad, the capital of Iraq. Although it is very crowded, I like its lively markets and historic sites. For example, the old city has traditional cafés and monuments that reflect our culture, which makes it a special place to me.

提案: Use a clear topic sentence about what you like, give specific examples, and avoid vague or repetitive phrases. Use linking words (for example, because) and correct grammar (e.g., 'once you get used to it').

例: I like the warm hospitality of people in my hometown because they are welcoming to visitors. For example, neighbours often invite guests for tea and share traditional dishes, which creates a friendly atmosphere despite the crowds.

提案: Answer directly with a clear time statement, then briefly explain with specific reasons. Avoid irrelevant personal reflections and ensure grammatical correctness (e.g., 'I have lived there for 25 years').

例: I have lived in Baghdad for 25 years since I was born. Although the city can be crowded and noisy, I have adapted to the pace of life and appreciate its cultural events and family connections.

提案: Give a balanced response: state your opinion clearly, then support it with specific reasons and examples. Use linking words (however, although) and avoid vague statements like 'it's still good.'

例: I think Baghdad can be a good place for young people because it offers rich cultural life and affordable local food. However, there are concerns about safety and restrictions reported in the media, so young people should be aware of these issues when deciding to live there.

× It is Baghdad, the capital of Iraq.

✓ It is Baghdad, the capital of Iraq.

No change needed; sentence correctly uses 'be' to identify the city and its status as the capital.

× It was where I was born.

✓ It is where I was born.

Use present tense 'is' because the speaker states a permanent fact about hometown location; 'was' suggests the place no longer is where they were born which is confusing. Use 'is' for clarity and consistency.

× I find it a crowded place.

✓ I find it to be a crowded place.

Include the infinitival marker 'to be' after 'find' when describing something with a noun phrase. This makes the sentence grammatically standard: 'find it to be a crowded place.'

× However it some people find it beautiful area to live in, some find it very crowded and not suitable for a living.

✓ However, some people find it a beautiful area to live in, while others find it very crowded and not suitable for living.

Multiple issues: missing comma after 'However', word order and missing article before 'beautiful area', and awkward phrase 'suitable for a living.' Use 'some people' as subject, add 'a' before 'beautiful area', and replace 'but' with 'while others' to contrast ideas. Use 'suitable for living' (no article) or 'suitable for a living' is incorrect here.

× I like that they are generous.

✓ I like that people there are generous.

Pronoun 'they' is vague here. Specify 'people there' to clearly refer to the residents of the hometown. This improves clarity and matches singular/plural reference.

× I like that they are absolutely kind.

✓ I like that they are very kind.

'adsolutely kind' is not natural collocation. Use 'very kind' or 'extremely kind'. Also clarifying 'people there' may be useful: 'I like that people there are very kind.'

× Although it's crowded, but when you used to it, you will find it very beautiful and better than many other countries.

✓ Although it's crowded, once you get used to it, you will find it very beautiful and better than many other places.

Multiple issues: Do not use both 'Although' and 'but' together (conjunction error). Use 'once you get used to it' (present tense habitual) instead of 'when you used to it' which is ungrammatical. 'Many other countries' is odd comparing a city to countries; use 'many other places.'

× In fact, it is so good.

✓ In fact, it is very nice.

'So good' is informal and vague; 'very nice' or 'quite pleasant' is more natural. Tense 'is' is correct; suggestion focuses on word choice.

× I'm 25 years old.

✓ I am 25 years old.

Contraction 'I'm' is acceptable in speech, but for clarity and formality in a test response use 'I am 25 years old.' Tense and meaning are correct.

× I was born here, so absolutely 25 years.

✓ I was born here, so I have been here for 25 years.

Original lacks a clear clause and misuses 'absolutely'. Use present perfect 'have been here for 25 years' to express duration from past to present. Include subject 'I' for completeness.

× It wasn't the perfect time or the best time of my life because it's not the perfect capital to live in.

✓ It was not the best place to live because it is not an ideal capital to live in.

Mix of tenses and awkward phrasing. Use 'was not the best place to live' (talking about experience) and 'it is not an ideal capital' for general characteristic. Avoid 'perfect time' which is odd here.

× It has some disadvantage, like it's very crowded.

✓ It has some disadvantages, such as being very crowded.

Use plural 'disadvantages' and a better connector 'such as'. Convert clause to gerund phrase 'being very crowded' to describe the disadvantage.

× However, I got used to it.

✓ However, I have got used to it.

Use present perfect 'have got used to' (or 'have gotten used to' in American English) to indicate the change of state that affects the present. 'Got used to' focuses on past event without clear present relevance.

× Absolutely, because Despite that advertisements, TV and news say that they are very strict and it's not the perfect place for women to live in.

✓ Absolutely. Despite what advertisements, TV and the news say about strictness and the city being not ideal for women,

Original mixes 'because' and 'Despite' and has incorrect structure. Use 'Despite what ... say' to introduce contrast. Also use 'the news' and rephrase to 'the city being not ideal for women.'

× But it's still, it's still good.

✓ it is still a good place.

Avoid starting with 'But' after restructuring; remove repeated phrase and provide a complete clause: 'it is still a good place.'

× It has culture, food.

✓ It has a rich culture and good food.

List 'culture, food' is incomplete. Add adjectives and conjunction 'and' to make a natural noun phrase 'a rich culture and good food.'