Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and accurate: start with one clear topic sentence stating location, then add two specific supporting details. Avoid incorrect facts and unclear phrases (e.g., “particular is a very famous poverty figure”). Use correct grammar for possession and articles.

例: My hometown is a small town near Gandhinagar, the capital of Gujarat. It is known for its fertile farmland and agricultural markets, and many families work in farming. In recent years it has also developed small food-processing businesses that sell products in nearby cities.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence saying what you like, then give two specific reasons with linking words (for example, because, and). Correct verb forms and avoid filler sounds. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: I like the peaceful atmosphere of my hometown because it is quiet and less crowded than the city. In addition, the air is fresher and there is a beautiful lake where people go for walks and relaxation. Because of these features, I always feel calm and refreshed when I visit home.

提案: Answer directly with a clear time phrase, then add one or two relevant details. Use correct tense (present perfect for duration) and more natural phrasing (e.g., "for nearly ten years" or "since childhood"). Remove hesitations like “uh”.

例: I have lived there for nearly ten years; I completed my schooling in that town and grew up there. My grandparents still live nearby, so I visit them often.

提案: Start with a direct opinion, then give specific reasons with linking words (for example, because, also). Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement) and use precise vocabulary (transportation, colleges). Limit to 2–3 sentences and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, it is a good place for young people because there are several colleges and good transportation links to nearby cities. In particular, a new nursing and biotechnology college has opened recently, creating more educational and job opportunities.

× My hometown is near Gandhinagar. It is a capital of Gujarat.

✓ My hometown is near Gandhinagar. It is the capital of Gujarat.

Use of the definite article 'the' is required before a unique, specific noun like 'capital' when referring to the single capital of a state. Change 'a capital' to 'the capital' to indicate that uniqueness. Suggestion: Use 'the' before singular nouns that are unique within a context (the capital, the sun, the president).

× My hometown is also well known for its agriculture and it's a particular is a very famous poverty figure in my country.

✓ My hometown is also well known for its agriculture, and it is particularly famous for producing a notable figure in my country.

Sentence contains incorrect pronoun contractions and unclear phrasing. 'it's a particular is a very famous poverty figure' is ungrammatical. Replace 'it's' with 'it is' and rephrase to clarify meaning: 'particularly famous for producing a notable figure'. Ensure logical meaning matches intended idea. Suggestion: Keep pronoun references clear and avoid incorrect contractions; restructure to express intended meaning precisely.

× My hometown is, I started from the city environment and it's very calm and peaceful area.

✓ I grew up in the city, but my hometown is a very calm and peaceful area.

Original mixes tenses and fragments ('My hometown is, I started from the city environment') and omits articles. Rewrite to separate ideas and correct verb forms: 'I grew up' shows past experience; 'a very calm and peaceful area' needs the article 'a'. Suggestion: Keep one main idea per clause and use appropriate past tense for life history.

× It also provides fresh air and, uh, it have a beautiful lake out there.

✓ It also provides fresh air, and it has a beautiful lake.

Subject-verb agreement and pronoun use: 'it have' is incorrect; singular 'it' requires 'has'. Also remove filler 'out there' for conciseness. Suggestion: Use 'it has' for singular subjects and avoid unnecessary fillers.

× Uh, and I like those things about.

✓ I like those things about my hometown.

Sentence is incomplete and missing the object of 'about'. Add 'my hometown' to complete the thought. Suggestion: Ensure prepositions have objects (e.g., 'about my hometown').

× I think I nearly a decade, uh, I have completed my schooling there and I have been grown up there.

✓ I think I have lived there for nearly a decade. I completed my schooling there, and I grew up there.

Original mixes wrong time expression and incorrect verb form 'have been grown up'. Use 'have lived...for nearly a decade' for duration with present perfect, and use simple past 'completed' and 'grew up' for finished actions in the past. Suggestion: Use 'have lived...for' to express duration; use 'grew up' for past upbringing.

× My grandparents are still living there.

✓ My grandparents still live there.

Present progressive 'are still living there' is acceptable but 'still live there' is more natural for a permanent situation. No major grammatical error; this is a style improvement. Suggestion: Use simple present for habitual or permanent states.

× Yes, it is a very good place for young people as it have multiple colleges, uh, good facilities to transport and as well uh, uh, nicely new college for nursing and biotech students.

✓ Yes, it is a very good place for young people, as it has multiple colleges, good transport facilities, and a new nursing and biotechnology college.

Several errors: 'it have' should be 'it has' (subject-verb agreement), 'facilities to transport' is incorrect preposition and phrasing—use 'transport facilities' or 'transportation facilities', and 'nicely new college' is incorrect adjective order and word choice—use 'a new nursing and biotechnology college'. Suggestion: Use 'has' with singular 'it', use correct noun phrases for facilities, and place adjectives before the noun without unnecessary adverbs.