Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural, concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh, um), correct prepositions and word order, and add one specific detail. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: My hometown is Rushed City, the main city of Gilan Province in southern Iran. It’s well known for its delicious local cuisine and its mild, pleasant weather.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and then two brief, specific supporting details using linking words. Remove hesitations and correct grammar (people are, its atmosphere). Provide concrete examples of people’s behavior or what the atmosphere feels like.

例: I like the people in my hometown because they are very kind and helpful, and you often meet neighbors who will stop to help in a crisis. In addition, the town has a relaxed, friendly atmosphere with cozy markets and cafés where people gather.

提案: Answer directly with correct tense and clear timeline. Avoid vague phrases and grammar errors (I were → I was). Mention specific ages or years if possible and use linking words to explain gaps briefly.

例: I’ve lived there since I was a child, although I moved away for a few years. I returned four years ago and have been living there continuously since then.

提案: Provide a direct topic sentence, then add two specific supporting reasons with linking words. Avoid filler words and improve collocation (nightlife, an energetic atmosphere). Give short examples of activities young people can do.

例: Yes, it’s a great place for young people because it has a lively nightlife and many trendy cafés. For example, young people often meet at weekend live-music events and at popular cafés to study or socialize.

× So my hometown is Rushed City, a good and the Center City of Gilan province in southern of Iran that uh is so famous for its foods and the weather.

✓ So my hometown is Rushed City, a good and central city of Gilan province in the south of Iran that is famous for its food and weather.

Incorrect use of the definite article and word choice: 'the Center City' is unnatural and uses incorrect capitalization; 'southern of Iran' should be 'the south of Iran'; 'foods' is better as 'food' as an uncountable noun when speaking generally. Suggestion: use 'a central city' and 'the south of Iran', and use 'food' and 'weather' without 'the' unless referring to specific items.

× Uh, actually some, several, uh, things that are bold and I like about my hometown is that, uh, it's about it's people that are so kind and helpful that you can, uh, feel comfortable.

✓ Actually, several things I like about my hometown are its people, who are so kind and helpful that you feel comfortable.

Agreement and word choice: 'things that are bold' is odd and unclear; subject-verb agreement error ('things ... is' should be 'are'); incorrect use of 'it's it's' instead of 'its'. Suggestion: remove filler words, use 'several things I like ... are', and use the possessive 'its' and a relative clause 'who are' for people.

× And another thing is it's atmosphere.

✓ Another thing is its atmosphere.

Incorrect use of the contraction 'it's' (it is) instead of the possessive 'its'. Use 'its' to show possession. Also avoid unnecessary 'and' at sentence start in formal response.

× Actually, since I can't remember, I mean, when I was a really young kid, I were there, but uh, I had a gap.

✓ Actually, since I cannot remember; I mean, when I was a really young child, I was there, but I had a gap.

Verb tense and subject-verb agreement: 'I were' is incorrect; use past tense singular 'I was'. 'Kid' is informal; use 'child'. Keep contractions formal ('cannot' or 'can't'). Suggestion: use 'I was' for past reference and clearer phrasing 'I had a gap' could be 'I had a period away' if clarity is needed.

× But now it's, uh, four years that I'm living here non-stop.

✓ But I have now been living here continuously for four years.

Tense and aspect: English uses the present perfect continuous ('have been living') to indicate an action that started in the past and continues to the present. 'It's four years that I'm living here' is incorrect structure. Suggestion: use 'I have been living here for four years' or 'I have now been living here continuously for four years.'

× Is your home town a good place for young people?

✓ Is your hometown a good place for young people?

This sentence mainly has spelling/spacing: 'home town' is typically one word 'hometown'. No preposition error in content; correction applies to form.

× Yes, because you can find it with nightlife, uh, and uh, energetic atmosphere with good cafes and it's really enjoyable, interesting and good for making friends.

✓ Yes, because you can find nightlife and an energetic atmosphere with good cafes; it's really enjoyable, interesting, and a good place to make friends.

Article and determiners: 'find it with nightlife' is ungrammatical — remove 'it'; 'energetic atmosphere' needs an article 'an'; 'it's' should be 'it's' meaning 'it is' is fine but restructure for clarity. Use 'a good place to make friends' rather than 'good for making friends'. Suggestions: remove filler words, include appropriate articles, and restructure to 'a good place to make friends.'