Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer concise and grammatically correct. Give a clear topic sentence stating the location, then add one brief detail if needed. Reduce fillers (uh, um) and correct place-name phrasing (e.g., Gyeonggi-do or Gangwon-do).

例: My hometown is Gangwon-do, which is on the southeastern side of South Korea. It’s a coastal region known for its beaches.

提案: Organize the response: start with a topic sentence about what you like, then give specific reasons using linking words (because, so). Use precise vocabulary (children, facilities, well-maintained). Keep to 2–4 sentences and avoid redundancy.

例: I like the recreational facilities in my hometown, especially the public swimming pool and outdoor playgrounds. They are well-maintained and offer a safe, convenient place for families and children to exercise and relax.

提案: Give a clear timeline. Begin with a direct statement (I have lived there since...), then add a specific time reference. Avoid filler words and unclear tense usage.

例: I have lived there since I was in primary school, so it’s been around 15 years. I moved to Gyeonggi-do when I was about seven.

提案: Clarify your opinion and support it with concrete reasons. Start with a clear yes/no and explain using specific examples (schools, sports clubs, entertainment). Avoid unclear references and filler. Use linking words like because and for example.

例: Yes, I think it is good for young people because there are many academies and sports clubs that support study and extracurricular activities. For example, several tutoring centers and soccer academies help students improve academically and stay active.

× My hometown is in Gangido, is bottom at the uh S uh, South side in Korea.

✓ My hometown is in Gyeonggi-do, in the southern part of South Korea.

The original sentence uses incorrect prepositions and place names. Use 'in' to indicate location within a province (in Gyeonggi-do) and 'in the southern part of South Korea' to describe the region. Also corrected the romanization to 'Gyeonggi-do' and removed filler sounds. Suggestion: learn common prepositional phrases for location such as 'in', 'in the north/south/east/west', and 'in the southern part of...'.

× My hometown has a large public swimming pool and several outdoor play facilities, so I like them because they are well maintained and provide a convenient place for families and young child people to exercise and relax and face for.

✓ My hometown has a large public swimming pool and several outdoor play facilities, so I like them because they are well maintained and provide a convenient place for families and young people to exercise and relax.

The phrase 'young child people' is incorrect; 'young people' or 'children' should be used. 'Several' is fine. Also removed the extraneous phrase 'face for'. Suggestions: choose the appropriate quantifier/noun phrase ('children' for young kids, 'young people' for adolescents) and avoid redundant words.

× I am, uh, living, uh, until today, so I'm moving the Gyeonggi do uh, when I was primary school.

✓ I have lived there until today, but I moved to Gyeonggi-do when I was in primary school.

The original mixes tenses and has incorrect verb forms and word order. 'I have lived there until today' expresses continuous residence up to the present; however, since the student says they moved, 'I lived there until I moved to Gyeonggi-do when I was in primary school' or 'I moved to Gyeonggi-do when I was in primary school' are clearer. Also add 'in' before 'primary school'. Suggestion: use simple past for completed past actions ('I moved') and present perfect for actions continuing up to now ('I have lived').

× I think Arsenal league, yes, because Genghis or had a lot of, uh, messy, but squirrel or Academy and uh, this place, uh, provide a specific atmosphere and provide a study by.

✓ Yes, I think it is a good place for young people because there are many academies and extracurricular activities. This place provides a focused study atmosphere.

The original contains unintelligible words and incorrect pronoun/reference use. 'It' should refer to the hometown. 'Provide' must be conjugated to 'provides' for singular subject, and 'there are' is used to state existence of many academies. The phrase 'specific atmosphere' was clarified to 'focused study atmosphere'. Suggestion: use clear pronouns ('it' for the town) and ensure subject-verb agreement; organize ideas into complete sentences and avoid filler words.