Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more accurate and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh, well, you know), correct grammar (use "in the east of China" and match subject-verb). Add one short supporting detail with a linking word.

例: My hometown is Hangzhou, in Zhejiang province, in the east of China. It is famous for its scenic West Lake, and the landscape is truly breathtaking.

提案: Answer directly and provide a clear reason with specific detail. Avoid hesitations and reorganize the sentence: state what you like, then give a specific example and briefly explain its significance. Use linking words like "for example" or "because."

例: I like the beautiful scenery and rich culture in my hometown. For example, West Lake is famous for its picturesque views and legends, such as the White Snake story, which adds cultural charm.

提案: Use correct tense and a concise structure: answer the question with a clear time expression, then add one or two supporting details using linking words. Fix grammar: "I have lived here for 20 years" and "I was born and raised here."

例: I have lived in Hangzhou for twenty years; I was born and raised here. Moreover, the neighbors are very friendly, so they often help me if I have any problems.

提案: Give a direct yes/no with a clear reason and specific examples. Use correct nouns and plural forms (public transport, customers → shops/customers unclear). Use linking words like "because" and list one or two concrete reasons (transport, jobs, leisure).

例: Yes, I think Hangzhou is a good place for young people because public transport is convenient and there are many shops, restaurants, and recreational facilities that offer job and leisure opportunities.

× My hometown is Hangzhou in Zhejiang province. Uh, well, you know, it's in east of China there. Uh, their landscape was breathtaking.

✓ My hometown is Hangzhou in Zhejiang province. Well, it's in the east of China. Its landscape is breathtaking.

Errors: 'in east of China' is incorrect preposition and missing article; should be 'in the east of China' or 'in eastern China'. 'their landscape' incorrectly uses plural possessive pronoun for a singular noun 'hometown' — use 'its'. 'was breathtaking' shifts to past tense; use present tense 'is breathtaking' when describing a place currently true. Suggestion: use correct prepositions ('in the east of'), correct possessive pronoun ('its'), and keep present tense for general descriptions.

× I love the nice landscape here, one such as Westlake, you know, there have uh, uh, famous stories, uh, is about, uh, snake, white snake.

✓ I love the beautiful landscapes here, such as West Lake; there are famous stories about the White Snake.

Errors: 'one such as Westlake' is awkward — use 'such as West Lake' to give an example. 'there have' is incorrect quantifier/structure; use 'there are' for plural 'stories'. Word order and article use: 'the White Snake' is the name of the legend and needs correct capitalization and article. Suggestion: use 'such as' for examples, 'there are' with plural nouns, and proper nouns with correct capitalization.

× I have living here for 20 years because I born. I was born and raised in here. The neighborhood was pretty friendly and if I have trouble they will willing to give me a hand.

✓ I have been living here for 20 years because I was born here. I was born and raised here. The neighborhood is very friendly and if I have trouble they are willing to give me a hand.

Errors: 'I have living' should be present perfect continuous 'I have been living' to express duration. 'because I born' missing auxiliary and incorrect form — use 'I was born here'. 'in here' is incorrect preposition — use 'here'. 'The neighborhood was pretty friendly' uses past tense; use present tense 'is' for a current, continuing state. 'they will willing' is ungrammatical sequence — use 'they are willing' or 'they will be willing'. Suggestion: use correct perfect continuous form for duration, proper past passive 'was born', and consistent present tense when describing ongoing facts.

× Well, I think yes, uh, one of the reason is the transport public transporting here were pretty convenient and there have a lot of uh, uh, customers and any other, uh, recreation.

✓ Well, I think so. One of the reasons is that public transportation here is quite convenient and there are a lot of shops and other recreational facilities.

Errors: 'one of the reason' should be plural 'one of the reasons'. 'the transport public transporting' has incorrect word order and choice; correct phrase is 'public transportation'. Verb agreement: 'were pretty convenient' should be 'is quite convenient' because 'public transportation' is singular or treated as uncountable. 'there have a lot of customers' is incorrect — use 'there are a lot of shops' if referring to places to shop, or 'there are many customers' if meaning people; context suggests shops and recreation, so 'shops and other recreational facilities'. Suggestion: fix noun phrase order, use plural/singular agreement, and choose appropriate nouns for meaning.