Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần cải thiện ngữ pháp, cấu trúc câu và rõ ràng: dùng một câu chủ đề ngắn gọn trả lời trực tiếp, tránh lỗi số ít/số nhiều (a famous mountain / famous mountains), sửa cấu trúc ‘there has’ thành ‘there are’ hoặc ‘it has’, và loại bỏ từ thừa (‘and’ cuối câu). Thêm một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ tên núi, vị trí) để câu tự nhiên và hiệu quả hơn.

例: My hometown is Dominic Province in central Vietnam. It is known for its friendly people and the famous Mount X, which attracts many visitors every year.

提案: Cần sửa ngữ pháp (subject-verb agreement: ‘vegetables are’), tránh tiếng lắp và từ lặp (‘really’ nhiều lần), và liên kết ý mạch lạc bằng liên từ ngắn gọn. Bổ sung chi tiết cụ thể về món ăn hoặc ví dụ để thuyết phục hơn.

例: I love the cool weather and the fresh atmosphere in my hometown, which makes outdoor walks pleasant. Also, the local vegetables and dishes, like grilled fish with fresh herbs, are exceptionally tasty and healthy.

提案: Cần dùng thì chính xác (present perfect vs past simple): nói ‘I lived ... until I was 18’ hoặc ‘I have lived...’ tùy ý nghĩa. Sửa dạng động từ (‘I went’ / ‘I went to university’), và cấu trúc câu rõ ràng hơn. Có thể tách thành hai câu ngắn để tự nhiên và đúng ngữ pháp.

例: I lived in my hometown from childhood until I was 18. After graduating from high school, I went to university in the city, and I still return home sometimes.

提案: Tốt về ý tưởng nhưng cần diễn đạt tự nhiên hơn: dùng câu chủ đề trực tiếp, tránh cụm từ quá trang trọng (‘I would acknowledge’). Thêm liên từ rõ ràng (‘however’) và một ví dụ cụ thể về kỹ năng hay cơ hội ở thành phố để làm rõ quan điểm.

例: My hometown is pleasant for young people who prefer a peaceful, fresh environment. However, if they want better education or career opportunities, moving to the city is usually more suitable.

× My hometown is Dominic province located in Vietnam, there has many friendly people and has a famous mountains that attract so many travelers every year and.

✓ My hometown is Dominic Province, located in Vietnam. There are many friendly people and a famous mountain that attracts many travelers every year.

The sentence has multiple article and related errors. 'Dominic province' needs capitalization and 'Province' as part of a proper noun; use a comma to separate clauses. 'there has many friendly people' incorrectly uses 'has' and lacks the existential construction 'there are' for plural noun; this is an article/structure problem (use 'are' not 'has'). 'has a famous mountains' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'mountains' — choose singular 'mountain' or plural 'mountains' and match verb: 'a famous mountain that attracts many travelers every year' is correct. Also remove the trailing 'and'. Suggestions: use 'There are' for existence with plurals, ensure noun number and articles agree, capitalize proper nouns, and separate clauses into sentences for clarity.

× In my hometown, I really love the weather since it's really cool and the atmosphere is always fresh. In addition, food and uh, vegetables here is so fresh.

✓ In my hometown, I really love the weather since it's quite cool and the atmosphere is always fresh. In addition, the food and vegetables here are very fresh.

Problems: repetition of 'really' is stylistic but grammar issue is subject-verb agreement in 'vegetables here is' which should be plural verb 'are' (subject-verb agreement relates to pronoun/verb but listed as adjective/adverb here because intensifiers were used; still corrected). Also use 'the food and vegetables' with definite article for specific items and replace 'so fresh' with more formal 'very fresh'. Suggestions: match verb to plural subject ('vegetables...are'), use appropriate articles ('the'), and prefer varied adverbs ('quite'/'very') rather than repeated 'really'.

× Actually, I lived in my hometown since I was a child until I 18. After graduation at high school, I go to the university in the city to study and sometimes I go back to my home.

✓ Actually, I lived in my hometown from when I was a child until I was 18. After graduating from high school, I went to university in the city to study, and sometimes I went back home.

Errors: 'since' + past time point is incorrect here; use 'from when' or 'from...until' for a finished period. Missing 'was' in 'until I 18' — needs 'was 18'. 'After graduation at high school' should be 'After graduating from high school'. Tense consistency: narrative about past events should use past tense: 'I went to university' and 'sometimes I went back home'. Suggestions: use 'from...until' for completed time spans, use 'graduating from' for education completion, and keep past tense consistent.

× Actually, I would acknowledge that the atmosphere is quite good for people who love fresh environment, but to develop more skills, I think they should go to the city.

✓ Actually, I would say that the atmosphere is quite good for people who like a fresh environment, but to develop more skills, I think they should go to the city.

Problems: 'would acknowledge' is awkward; 'would say' is more natural. 'who love fresh environment' lacks article 'a' before 'fresh environment' and 'love' is acceptable but 'like' sounds more natural. This is primarily an issue of adjective and article usage. Suggestions: use natural collocations ('say', 'like a fresh environment') and include the article 'a' before singular, non-specific nouns.