Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Start with a clear, grammatical topic sentence and avoid minor grammar mistakes. Use one or two supporting details connected with a linking word. For example, correct articles and plural forms: say "a remote area" and add a brief reason why peaceful (e.g. "fewer people and less traffic"). Keep it to 1–2 sentences.

例: I'm from South Graniganj, a small and peaceful town. Because it's a remote area, there are fewer people and very little traffic, which makes it quiet.

提案: Avoid starting sentences with 'And' and remove repetition. Begin with a clear topic sentence stating what you like, then give two specific supporting details linked by a connector (e.g. 'and' or 'because'). Use correct grammar: 'a remote area', 'no crowds'.

例: I like that my hometown is quiet and relaxed. Because it is a remote area, there is hardly any noise or traffic, and people lead an easy lifestyle with friendly neighbors and no crowds.

提案: Use a single concise sentence with correct tense and word order. Say how long using a phrase like 'since I was a child' or 'all my life'. Avoid hesitation and repeated phrases. If necessary, add one short supporting detail about living with family.

例: I've lived there since I was a child — in fact, I was born there and I still live with my parents, so I haven't moved away.

提案: Give a balanced answer with a clear topic sentence stating your opinion. Use linking words such as 'however' to introduce drawbacks. Be specific about problems (e.g. 'few good schools' or 'limited job opportunities') and correct grammar ('there are many problems', 'we can't find good teachers'). Limit to two or three sentences.

例: It can be a nice place for young people because it's peaceful and safe; however, there are many drawbacks. For example, there are few good schools and limited access to qualified teachers and shops, which makes it harder for young people to study or find work.

× It's very peaceful because it's remote area.

✓ It's very peaceful because it's a remote area.

Missing definite/indefinite article before 'remote area'. In English, singular countable nouns generally require an article; use 'a' for one non-specific area. Suggestion: insert 'a' before 'remote area'.

× And it's quite remote area, there is no noise or traffic.

✓ And it's quite a remote area; there is no noise or traffic.

Same article error plus punctuation: need 'a' before 'remote area' and a semicolon or period to separate independent clauses. Suggestion: add 'a' and separate clauses properly.

× And people are very friendly. Friendly and easy lifestyle or no, no crowd.

✓ The people are very friendly, and life is easy with no crowds.

Fragment and awkward phrasing: 'Friendly and easy lifestyle or no, no crowd' is not a complete sentence. Reconstruct to a full sentence using subject and verb. Use 'life is easy' and 'no crowds' for natural phrasing.

× Since my childhood, I lived there, I have lived there, I was born and I have not moved to another place because, uh, I is still with my parents.

✓ Since my childhood, I have lived there; I was born there and I have not moved to another place because I am still with my parents.

Mixing past simple and present perfect incorrectly and subject-verb agreement error 'I is'. Use present perfect 'have lived' for actions continuing to present. Use 'was born there' for a past event. Correct pronoun-verb agreement to 'I am'. Suggestion: use consistent tense (present perfect) for ongoing situations and correct 'I is' to 'I am'.

× Use my down a very good place for young people.

✓ In my opinion, it is a very good place for young people.

Sentence is unclear and contains incorrect words/pronouns. 'Use my down' is nonsensical. Replace with 'In my opinion' and use 'it is' to refer to the hometown. Suggestion: use clear opinion phrases and correct pronouns.

× It's very peaceful and tranquil area.

✓ It's a very peaceful and tranquil area.

Missing article before singular countable noun 'area'. Insert 'a'. Suggestion: use 'a' with singular countable nouns when not specific.

× But there is so many problem like no good school, no uh, we can find good teacher grocery shop.

✓ But there are so many problems, such as no good schools, no qualified teachers, and no grocery shops.

Subject-verb agreement and quantifier misuse: 'there is so many problem' should be 'there are so many problems' because 'many' requires a plural noun and plural verb. Also list items need plural forms and clear nouns. Suggestion: use 'there are' with plural nouns and pluralize listed items; use 'such as' to introduce examples.