Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and accurate: start with a clear topic sentence naming the hometown and its location, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid filler words and hesitations, and correct small grammatical errors (e.g. '100 kilometers', 'north‑west').

例: My hometown is Tangle. I was born and raised there; it lies about 100 kilometers north‑west of Dhaka in Bangladesh. It’s a small town known for its peaceful atmosphere.

提案: Give a clear main idea then two specific supporting points with linking words. Reduce hesitations and avoid repeating words. Use precise adjectives (beautiful, peaceful) and name examples (places, foods) briefly.

例: I like my hometown because it’s peaceful and scenic. For example, there are several historic sites to visit, and the local sweets like chomchom are famous, which often attract tourists.

提案: Answer directly with a clear time expression first, then add one concise reason if needed. Avoid hesitations and filler words. Use correct grammar for age/duration: 'I have lived there for 31 years' or 'I have lived there almost my entire life'.

例: I have lived there for 31 years. I was born and raised in Tangle, and I’ve stayed because I love its scenery and community.

提案: Start with a clear yes/no and give two specific reasons using linking words (for example, 'because' or 'for instance'). Mention concrete facilities (parks, cultural sites) and avoid unclear phrases. Correct grammar and pronunciation of place names where possible.

例: Yes, it is a good place for young people because there are several parks for sports and relaxation. For instance, SP Lake Park is popular for jogging, and historic sites like Bohira Jomidar Bari host cultural events that appeal to youth.

× Well, my hometown is Tangle and I was born and raised there and it is located 100 kilometer away from Dhaka city and it's situated NN northwest part of Bangladesh and.

✓ Well, my hometown is Tangle. I was born and raised there. It is located 100 kilometers northwest of Dhaka city in the northern part of Bangladesh.

The original sentence is run-on and contains multiple issues: missing sentence boundaries, wrong plural for 'kilometer', awkward preposition use and unclear phrase 'NN northwest part'. Split into shorter sentences, change '100 kilometer' to plural '100 kilometers', use 'northwest of Dhaka' for correct preposition, and clarify location as 'in the northern part of Bangladesh'. Suggestions: break long sentences into simpler clauses, ensure plural agreement for measurements, and use standard prepositional phrases for location.

× Well, I like uh, my hometown, uh, because, uh, because it is very beautiful and calm city.

✓ Well, I like my hometown because it is a very beautiful and calm city.

The phrase misses the article 'a' before 'very beautiful and calm city'. Also redundancy ('uh' and repeated 'because') should be removed for clarity. Suggestion: include the indefinite article before singular countable nouns and avoid filler words.

× Uh, it is, uh, it has many uh, visiting places and delicious food like chomchom sweet, uh, it attracts people.

✓ It has many tourist attractions and delicious foods like chomchom sweets, which attract people.

'Visiting places' is nonstandard; use 'tourist attractions'. 'Chomchom' is a countable noun when referring to varieties or pieces, so 'sweets' is appropriate. Use a relative clause 'which attract people' to connect ideas. Also remove filler words. Suggestion: use standard collocations and correct noun pluralization.

× Well, I almost, uh, lived there, uh, UH-31 years, uh, because this place is very, uh, beautiful and, uh, I was born and raised there.

✓ I have lived there for almost 31 years because this place is very beautiful and I was born and raised there.

When indicating a time period up to now, English uses the present perfect 'have lived' with 'for'. 'Lived' simple past is incorrect for an ongoing situation. Remove fillers and use numerals consistently. Suggestion: use present perfect for actions that started in the past and continue to the present.

× Yes, uh, uh, good, uh, many good place for young people, uh, like umm Bohira Jomidar Bari it it's almost 100 years old, uh, house and uh, many uh parks, uh, like SP lake dislike in this park.

✓ Yes. There are many good places for young people, such as Bohira Jomidar Bari, which is almost 100 years old, and several parks like SP Lake where people can relax.

Original contains run-on fragments, incorrect singular/plural ('place' should be 'places'), incorrect article use, repeated fillers and unclear phrase 'dislike in this park'. Use 'There are' to introduce existence of plural places. Use relative clause 'which is almost 100 years old' for the house and 'where people can relax' to describe park use. Suggestion: use 'there is/there are' for existence, match singular/plural, and form clear relative clauses.