Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần trả lời trực tiếp, ngắn gọn và rõ ràng về vị trí hoặc tên nơi sinh. Tránh câu lặp và ngữ pháp sai; sử dụng một câu chủ đề rồi thêm 1-2 chi tiết hỗ trợ. Sử dụng liên từ hợp lý nếu cần (e.g., "and", "but", "for example"). Sửa lỗi cấu trúc như động từ và danh từ (ví dụ: "I was born" thay vì "I born").

例: I come from Nya Kebang, a small coastal town in the region. It has a few sandy beaches and a friendly community, which makes it a pleasant place to live and work.

提案: Cần mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề trả lời trực tiếp (ví dụ: "I like..."), sau đó nêu 1-2 lý do cụ thể với liên từ để mạch lạc. Tránh lặp từ chung chung như "many things"; thay bằng từ cụ thể (beaches, mountains, friendly people). Giữ tổng số câu không quá 5 và ngữ pháp đúng (ví dụ: "there are many friendly people", "it has beautiful beaches").

例: I particularly like the natural scenery in my hometown. It has beautiful beaches and nearby mountains, and the people are very friendly, so it's great for walking, studying and relaxing.

提案: Trả lời cần chính xác về thời gian với thì đúng (present perfect hoặc present simple). Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng (ví dụ: "I have lived there for 17 years" hoặc "I lived there for 17 years"). Tránh câu rời rạc và thiếu chủ vị; cung cấp thêm 1 chi tiết ngắn gọn nếu cần (ví dụ: nơi học tập hoặc ký ức).

例: I have lived there for 17 years, and I went to school locally. It’s been a great place to grow up because of the friendly community and nearby beaches.

提案: Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng (Yes/No + lý do ngắn). Nêu 1-2 lý do cụ thể và hợp lý (ví dụ: cơ hội học tập, công việc, giải trí). Tránh liệt kê nhiều tên nơi lộn xộn và ngữ pháp sai (sửa "have" thành "has"). Dùng liên từ để kết nối ý (e.g., "because", "and").

例: Yes, it is a good place for young people because there are many study and job opportunities nearby. In addition, the area offers plenty of outdoor activities like hiking in the mountains and relaxing at local beaches.

× My hometown is quite broadly where many friendly people and many different things like little beach grounding beach from Nya Kebang in here and is a great place to live and work.

✓ My hometown is a fairly large area with many friendly people and different attractions, such as a small beach near Nya Kebang; it is a great place to live and work.

The original sentence has incorrect sentence structure, run-on clauses, and missing or misplaced articles and connectors. Break the idea into clear parts: describe the area, list features with correct articles, and use a semicolon or conjunction to connect the final independent clause. Use 'a small beach' not 'little beach grounding beach' and 'near Nya Kebang' for correct preposition use.

× I love all things is a great place to travel and walk, study is have many friendly people, many beautiful things like beach, mountain and many things.

✓ I love everything about it; it is a great place for walking, studying, and travelling. It has many friendly people and beautiful attractions such as beaches and mountains.

Original sentence misuses adjectives/adverbs and lacks proper connectors. Replace 'all things is' with 'everything about it' and use parallel structure for activities ('walking, studying, and travelling'). Use plural nouns with articles where needed ('beaches and mountains'). Break into two sentences for clarity.

× I only lived 17 years. I born studied in here as a great base to lived with many new things, special things, special in beautiful things to watching and.

✓ I have lived here for 17 years. I was born and studied here; it has been a great base to live in and to discover many new and beautiful things.

The original mixes incorrect past tense and missing auxiliary verbs. Use present perfect 'have lived' for duration up to now. Use passive 'was born' and 'studied here' for past actions. Replace incorrect forms 'to lived' with 'to live in' and rephrase the list of experiences to be grammatical and clear.

× Yes, my hometown have many opportunities to study and work in future is have many wonderful place to travel and work like mountain or from Yakima, Nutley Beach, Boundary Beach and many beautiful things.

✓ Yes, my hometown has many opportunities to study and work in the future. It also has many wonderful places to visit and relax, such as mountains, Yakima, Nutley Beach, and Boundary Beach.

The original has subject-verb agreement errors ('my hometown have' should be 'my hometown has') and article/number errors ('many wonderful place' -> 'many wonderful places'). Split run-on sentence into two and use 'in the future' for time expression. Use plural nouns for lists and correct prepositions.