Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but it’s slightly repetitive (mentioning lived over 20 years twice across answers) and could be more concise and varied in vocabulary. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid casual filler like “literally.”

例: I’m from Hong Kong, where I have lived for more than 20 years. It’s a bustling, highly convenient city, and for instance, most MTR stations are a short 5–10 minute walk from nearby neighborhoods, which makes commuting very easy.

提案: Good specific examples and contrast between areas. Improve coherence by using clearer linking words and more precise vocabulary (e.g., “Western cuisine” instead of “western food”). Reduce informal phrasing and keep sentences to a maximum of five.

例: I particularly enjoy Hong Kong’s diverse food scene. For example, Central and Admiralty offer excellent Western cuisine, whereas areas in Kowloon are known for authentic local dishes such as wonton noodles and dai pai dong street food.

提案: The answer directly addresses the question but mixes present/past and future ideas awkwardly and repeats a word (“stay stay”). Give a concise time statement first, then one clear reason using a linking word. Correct small fluency errors.

例: I’ve lived in Hong Kong for over 20 years. In the future, I’d like to remain here because my family lives nearby, so staying would allow me to support and spend more time with them.

提案: Your position is clear but the grammar and coherence need work. Start with a topic sentence, then explain with specific reasons and linkers. Avoid sentence fragments and fix tense/structure (e.g., “which makes it difficult for young people to save money”). Consider offering a brief contrast or mitigating point.

例: Not really; the high cost of rent in Hong Kong makes it difficult for many young people to save money. As a result, they often delay moving out or starting families, although some still find opportunities in finance and tech sectors.

× You literally can walk from one station to another station within 10 minutes.

✓ You can literally walk from one station to another within 10 minutes.

The original sentence misorders the adverb 'literally' making the phrase slightly awkward; also 'to another station' repeats 'station' unnecessarily. Move 'literally' after 'can' for natural word order and remove the repeated noun. Suggestion: 'You can literally walk from one station to another within 10 minutes.' (Grammar problem mapped to 'Verb in the present participle form' per provided list because this sentence involves adverb placement and verb phrase order issues.)

× For example, if you go to Central or Admiralty Station, there are many western food, but if you go to the Kowloon side, there's a lot of local food you can choose.

✓ For example, if you go to Central or Admiralty Station, there is a lot of Western food, but if you go to the Kowloon side, there are many local dishes you can choose from.

'Western food' is an uncountable phrase and should use 'a lot of' or 'much' with singular verb 'is'; 'western' as an adjective should be capitalized as 'Western'. 'Many' should modify a plural count noun: use 'dishes' instead of 'food'. Add 'from' after 'choose' for correct verb complementation. Suggestion: 'there is a lot of Western food' and 'there are many local dishes you can choose from.'

× I have lived here for over 20 years and in the future I still prefer to stay in Hong Kong because my family lives here and I want to stay stay close to them.

✓ I have lived here for over 20 years, and in the future I still prefer to stay in Hong Kong because my family lives here and I want to stay close to them.

The original has a repeated word 'stay stay' (typo) and missing comma before 'and' joining two independent clauses. Use present perfect 'have lived' correctly; 'prefer to stay' is acceptable for future preference. Add comma and remove duplicate word. Suggestion: proofread to catch duplicated words and add punctuation for clarity.

× No it isn't. It is because the rent here is so high which makes a lot of young people having difficulties to. Save money.

✓ No, it isn't. The rent here is so high that it makes it difficult for many young people to save money.

Original contains sentence fragments and incorrect clause structure: 'which makes a lot of young people having difficulties to' is ungrammatical. Use 'so... that' to show cause and effect and 'make it difficult for someone to do something' construction. Combine fragments into one sentence and fix word order: 'makes it difficult for many young people to save money.' Also add comma after 'No'.