Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant with a good basic structure (topic sentence plus supporting detail). To improve, make the language more natural by fixing small grammar mistakes and reducing redundancy. Use a concise linking phrase to connect ideas and keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: I’m from Hong Kong. I lived there until I was 13, then moved to Canada for high school and university. After finishing my studies I returned to Hong Kong for work because it offers more career opportunities.

提案: You give relevant points, but there are grammar errors and some unclear phrasing. Be specific and concise: mention 2–3 concrete things you like, use correct word order, and include a linking word to connect details. Avoid repetition of 'convenience'.

例: I like Hong Kong’s convenience. For example, there are supermarkets and convenience stores within minutes of my home, a huge variety of international food, and many shopping malls, which makes daily life really easy.

提案: Your response directly answers the question and gives a brief reason. To improve, be more precise (give exact or approximate years) and add a linking phrase and a specific example to enrich the answer without exceeding 3–4 sentences.

例: I’ve lived in Hong Kong for over 20 years — since I was born. I enjoy living here because, for instance, public transport and shops are always nearby, which makes daily life very convenient.

提案: You give a clear opinion and a supporting reason, which is good. To improve, expand slightly with another specific consequence or comparison and use linking words (for example, as a result). Avoid absolute claims unless qualified.

例: Not really. Although there are many job opportunities, the extremely high cost of living — especially rent — makes it hard for young people to save or pursue hobbies. As a result, many move elsewhere to find cheaper living and more time for personal development.

× I was born and grew up here until 13 years old.

✓ I was born and grew up here until I was 13 years old.

Missing subject and auxiliary 'was' for the age phrase. In English we say 'until I was 13 years old' to indicate the endpoint in the past. Add 'I was' to make the clause grammatically complete and clear.

× After that, I moved to Canada for high school and university, but I still came back to Hong Kong for work because it has more opportunities.

✓ After that, I moved to Canada for high school and university, but I still came back to Hong Kong for work because it had more opportunities.

The sentence describes a past sequence of events, so 'has' should match past perspective. Use past tense 'had' to maintain consistent timeline. If speaker intends a present general truth, keep present, but here context is past actions so use past.

× Just a few steps from my home you can get to see a convenience store, a supermarket and Hong Kong is has food from all old for the world and a lot of shopping malls.

✓ Just a few steps from my home you can find a convenience store, a supermarket, food from all over the world, and many shopping malls.

Multiple issues: 'get to see' is unnatural; use 'find' or 'there is'. 'Hong Kong is has' is ungrammatical and redundant. 'from all old for the world' is incorrect phrase; correct is 'from all over the world'. Also use 'many' rather than 'a lot of' to be more concise. The corrected sentence fixes preposition 'from' placement and restructures for natural phrasing.

× I have lived here for more than 20 years.

✓ I have lived here for more than 20 years.

This sentence is grammatically correct. The present perfect 'have lived' is appropriate to express an action that started in the past and continues to the present. No change needed.

× Hong Kong has the highest living cost in the world and is very hard for young people to develop their interests.

✓ Hong Kong has the highest cost of living in the world and it is very hard for young people to develop their interests.

'Living cost' is nonstandard; the correct phrase is 'cost of living'. Also the sentence needs a subject 'it' before 'is very hard' for clarity. This corrects noun phrase and ensures grammatical subject.

× For example, they need to pay high rent.

✓ For example, young people need to pay high rent.

The pronoun 'they' is ambiguous; explicitly repeating 'young people' makes the referent clear. This improves clarity and coherence with the previous sentence.