Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response grammatically complete, concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler sounds (uh, umm), and include one brief extra detail to enrich the answer. Use correct verb forms and sentence structure.

例: My hometown is Tabuk, a city in northwest Saudi Arabia. It’s known for its historic sites and pleasant desert scenery.

提案: Give a focused topic sentence and then list two or three specific aspects with linking words. Remove repetitive words and fillers. Use concrete examples or brief explanations to make your answer more informative.

例: I like several things about my hometown. For example, I enjoy being close to my extended family, and I appreciate the historic landscape, such as the old forts and rock formations. Also, the mild winter weather makes it pleasant to visit.

提案: Answer directly and correct factual mistakes and grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence that states where you live now, then briefly explain how often you visit and for what reasons, using simple linking words and correct verb tenses.

例: I don’t live in Tabuk now; I was born there but I currently live in Jeddah. I usually go back to Tabuk during holidays or for family events such as weddings.

提案: Give a structured answer with a clear opinion and two contrasting supporting points using linking words (however, on the other hand). Remove hesitations and unclear phrases. Conclude with a concise summary sentence expressing your view.

例: It depends on a young person’s preferences. If someone prefers a quiet, close-knit community, Tabuk is a great place because it’s peaceful and safe. However, if a young person seeks nightlife and busy entertainment, they might prefer a larger city like Jeddah. Overall, I’d say it’s good for those who value a calm lifestyle.

× My hometown in Tabuk, uh, which is a city in northwest Saudi Arabia. Umm, yeah.

✓ My hometown is in Tabuk, which is a city in northwest Saudi Arabia.

Missing verb 'is' creates an incomplete clause; use the verb 'to be' to link subject and location. Suggestion: include 'is' after the subject (My hometown is in Tabuk) to form a complete sentence.

× I like everything about my hometown. I think, umm, my extended family that lives there, umm, the history of the landscape, all the people, the weather, everything.

✓ I like everything about my hometown. I think my extended family who live there, the historical landscape, all the people, and the weather are reasons why.

List items need a clear verb or connector to complete the thought; also 'that lives' should be 'who live' for people and maintain plural agreement. Suggestion: use 'who' for relatives and include a verb phrase (are reasons why) to finish the sentence.

× I don't live there. I was born in Cedar, I live in Jeddah but I go there in holidays and and if we are cover a family event like a wedding or something.

✓ I don't live there. I was born in Tabuk. I live in Jeddah, but I go there on holidays and when we have a family event like a wedding or something.

Several issues: wrong place name 'Cedar' likely intended 'Tabuk' (content correction), missing article/preposition 'on holidays', incorrect clause 'if we are cover' should be 'when we have' or 'if we have' plus noun 'a family event'. Suggestion: use 'on holidays' for occasions and 'when/if we have' plus the noun 'a family event'.

× I think it depends, like if you are someone who likes like umm, a quiet, not crowded place, you would love to grow up there.

✓ I think it depends. If you are someone who likes a quiet, uncrowded place, you would love growing up there.

Run-on sentence and repetition of 'like'; 'not crowded' is better as 'uncrowded'; use 'would love growing up there' or 'you would love to grow up there' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: split into two sentences and remove filler words.

× But if you are like a young person who loved umm, the nightlife, uh, crowd places at busy places, you wouldn't flock to me. I would say maybe you're capable.

✓ But if you are a young person who loves nightlife and crowded, busy places, you probably wouldn't want to grow up there.

Tense and word choice errors: 'loved' should be present 'loves' to match the conditional; 'crowd places at busy places' is ungrammatical—use 'crowded, busy places'; 'you wouldn't flock to me' is incorrect meaning; 'wouldn't want to grow up there' conveys the intended idea. Suggestion: use consistent present tense in the conditional clause and choose natural verbs ('love', 'want to grow up').