Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the hometown, then give 1–2 specific supporting details connected with linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., “in southeast of China in Asia” is repetitive) and check grammar (use plural/singular agreement and articles).

例: I come from Hong Kong, a bustling city on the southeast coast of China. It is very prosperous and vibrant, and I particularly appreciate its efficient public transport, which makes getting around very convenient.

提案: Improve clarity and accuracy of vocabulary and grammar. Give specific examples and use linking words to connect ideas. Avoid incorrect terms (fish balls and egg tarts are dishes, not fruits) and correct tense and phrasing. Keep to 2–3 sentences maximum.

例: What I like most about Hong Kong is the food. For example, I enjoy traditional dishes such as fish balls and egg tarts because they are authentic and freshly made, so they always taste delicious.

提案: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear time statement, then optionally add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid vague praise like “every single part” and minor grammar tweaks.

例: I have lived in Hong Kong for about 25 years since I was born and raised there. I have visited many local attractions, such as Victoria Peak and the markets, which is why I really enjoy living here.

提案: Avoid hesitations and filler words. Give a clear position and support it with specific reasons and linking words. Check grammar (subject-verb agreement, remove unnecessary filler) and finish the response with a concluding phrase.

例: I think Hong Kong can be a good place for many young people because it offers diverse job opportunities and a strong economy. For instance, those seeking stable careers in finance or technology will find many options, although some may prefer quieter cities for a lower cost of living.

× It is located in southeast of China in Asia.

✓ It is located in the southeast of China in Asia.

The phrase needs the definite article with the directional noun: use 'the southeast' and include 'the' before regions; also 'in the southeast of China' is the correct prepositional structure.

× It is very prosperous, one of the most vibrant city in China, and I love it because it is very busy and is very convenient to take public transport.

✓ It is very prosperous, one of the most vibrant cities in China, and I love it because it is very busy and very convenient for taking public transport.

The original combines clauses awkwardly and has singular/plural mismatch. Use plural 'cities' to match 'one of the', and change 'is very convenient to take public transport' to 'very convenient for taking public transport' or 'very convenient to use public transport' for correct verb and preposition usage.

× It is been authentic but it is delicious and fresh and every time I taste the dishes.

✓ It has been authentic, and it is delicious and fresh every time I taste the dishes.

'It is been' is incorrect; the present perfect requires 'has been'. Also the sentence needs clearer conjunctions and word order: separate clauses with commas and place 'every time I taste the dishes' at the end.

× The best things I like about my hometown would be the food.

✓ The best thing I like about my hometown is the food.

'Things' (plural) conflicts with 'would be' and the singular 'the food'. Use singular 'thing' and a simple present 'is' to state a general preference.

× For example, if they wants to have a stable but, uh, hopeful career in the future, I believe Hong Kong is the right place because there are a lot of choices, so.

✓ For example, if they want to have a stable but hopeful career in the future, I believe Hong Kong is the right place because there are a lot of choices.

'They' is plural and requires the base verb 'want', not 'wants'. Also remove filler words and the trailing 'so' to make a complete sentence.