Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Сделайте ответ более кратким и структурированным: сначала скажите прямо, затем добавьте одно-два конкретных уточнения. Избегайте повторов и ошибок в форме времени и артиклях. Уточните, что вы делаете сейчас и какие у вас планы (короткие и ясные предложения).

例: I recently graduated from a pharmaceutical university, and I now work at a local pharmacy. I also attend an English course to prepare for applying to a master's program abroad next year.

提案: Сначала давайте чёткий ответ о вашей должности, затем добавьте одно конкретное место и причину удобства. Исправьте словосочетания (например, «as a pharmacist», «convenient location») и избегайте междометий.

例: I work as a pharmacist in a small community pharmacy near Mirawat Street. It is convenient because I live nearby, so commuting takes only a few minutes.

提案: Дайте краткий прямой ответ, затем приведите 1–2 конкретные причины. Избегайте неясных выражений («forensic colleges»), уточните, какие именно преимущества предоставляет начальство, и исправьте грамматику и повторы.

例: Yes, it is a good place to work because my manager supports my professional development and offers flexible hours. I also have access to training courses that will help me gain more clinical pharmacy skills.

提案: Отвечайте просто и естественно: скажите «Yes» и приведите одну-две конкретные причины — близость, спокойная улица, дружелюбные коллеги. Избегайте тавтологии («enjoyable to enjoy») и проверьте согласование слов.

例: Yes, I do. It is close to my home, and the street is peaceful. My colleagues and customers are friendly, which makes the job pleasant.

提案: Дайте прямой ответ и затем конкретизируйте один или два плана. Избегайте неопределённых общих фраз и исправьте грамматику (например, «I am not the kind of person who makes strict plans»). Сформулируйте реальную цель и шаги для её достижения.

例: I prefer not to make strict long-term plans, but I do have short-term goals. For example, I plan to gain more experience in clinical pharmacy for the next year and then apply for a master's program abroad.

× So recently I have graduated pharmaceutical university.

✓ I recently graduated from a pharmaceutical university.

The present perfect 'have graduated' can be used, but 'recently' with a clear past event is better expressed in simple past here. Also include the preposition 'from' and the article 'a' before 'pharmaceutical university'. Suggestion: Use 'I recently graduated from a pharmaceutical university.'

× Now I work in the pharmacy and go to the English course maintain.

✓ Now I work in a pharmacy and attend an English course to maintain my skills.

Use 'work in a pharmacy' (article and correct noun), and replace 'go to the English course maintain' with 'attend an English course to maintain my skills'. 'Attend' is the correct verb for courses; 'maintain' needs an object. Suggestion: 'Now I work in a pharmacy and attend an English course to maintain my skills.'

× My main plan has been to apply for masters degree program abroad.

✓ My main plan is to apply for a master's degree program abroad.

Use present simple 'is' for current plan, add the article 'a', use possessive form 'master's' and include 'program'. Suggestion: 'My main plan is to apply for a master's degree program abroad.'

× So I also have an English course to improve my English.

✓ I also take an English course to improve my English.

Use 'take' or 'attend' for courses. The sentence is repetitive but grammatically acceptable after changing the verb. Suggestion: 'I also take an English course to improve my English.'

× I work in a pharmacy as a pharmacy.

✓ I work in a pharmacy as a pharmacist.

The role in the pharmacy is 'pharmacist', not 'pharmacy'. Replace the noun to indicate the job title. Suggestion: 'I work in a pharmacy as a pharmacist.'

× It's located near Mirawat street so it is very convenient location for me because I live nearby.

✓ It's located near Mirawat Street, so it is a very convenient location for me because I live nearby.

Capitalize 'Street', add article 'a' before 'very convenient location', and add a comma before 'so'. Suggestion: 'It's located near Mirawat Street, so it is a very convenient location for me because I live nearby.'

× Yes, it is because their forensic colleges and my boss have more benefits for me.

✓ Yes, it is because the staff and my boss give me many benefits.

'Their forensic colleges' is unclear and likely incorrect; replace with 'the staff' or specific term. Use 'give me many benefits' instead of 'have more benefits for me'. Suggestion: 'Yes, it is because the staff and my boss give me many benefits.'

× Besides that I think it in the future it gives me more opportunities to develop my career and and helps me to improve my skills in the pharmacy.

✓ Besides that, I think in the future it will give me more opportunities to develop my career and help me improve my skills in the pharmacy.

Remove duplicated 'it', use future 'will give' for future possibility, use parallel structure 'help me improve' (not 'helps me to improve'). Add comma after 'Besides that'. Suggestion: 'Besides that, I think in the future it will give me more opportunities to develop my career and help me improve my skills in the pharmacy.' },{