Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence stating your current status, then give one or two specific supporting details (when you started studying, why you returned). Avoid repetition and grammar errors (use correct verb forms and prepositions). Use linking words like “because” or “so” correctly.

例: I'm not currently working or enrolled in school. I returned to Japan recently and for the past six months I've been studying English full-time to prepare for further training.

提案: Answer directly, then add one clear reason. Use correct nouns and articles (a/an/the) and precise vocabulary (“dessert” vs “desert” confusion—probably you meant “resort” or “dessert” hotel?). Avoid hesitations and double words. Use linking word “because” to connect reason.

例: I don't have a job at the moment. I'm looking for a position at a resort hotel because I want to use my English skills with international guests.

提案: First answer the question asked about the place you plan to work (say yes/no and why). If you refer to a past job, be specific and complete the sentence. Use past simple consistently and avoid trailing off. Connect ideas with “because” and “so”.

例: No, my previous workplace was not a good place to work. I worked in a factory for 15 years, and it was dirty and noisy, so I often felt uncomfortable and eventually decided to leave.

提案: Give a clear present opinion about the current or future workplace. When describing a past workplace, keep grammar consistent and concise. Use transition words like “because” and “so” correctly. Avoid repetition (don't repeat 'I' or 'look').

例: I didn't like my previous workplace because it was dirty and noisy, which made me uncomfortable. So I decided to quit and now I'm looking for a better job.

提案: State your plan clearly with correct word choice (e.g., “become a remedial massage therapist” or “train as a remedial massage therapist”). Mention specific steps and use correct acronyms (likely “IELTS test” not “IS test”). Keep it concise and link steps with words like “so” or “in order to.”

例: In the future I want to train as a remedial massage therapist in Australia, so I need to take the IELTS and get a good score. Therefore I study English every day to prepare.

× I'm not working or and I'm not student because I'm study.

✓ I'm not working and I'm not a student because I'm studying.

The sentence incorrectly combines 'or and' which is redundant; use a single conjunction 'and'. Also missing article 'a' before 'student' and 'study' needs -ing for present continuous 'I am studying'. Improve by using one conjunction and correct verb form and article.

× I'm studying English in physi 6 months ago so I recently returned to back Japan so I don't I don't have job and I'm not student.

✓ I studied English in Fiji 6 months ago, and I recently returned to Japan, so I don't have a job and I'm not a student.

The time expression '6 months ago' requires past tense 'studied' not present continuous. 'in physi' seems to be 'in Fiji' (place), and 'returned to back Japan' is incorrect; use 'returned to Japan'. 'I don't I don't have job' repeats and lacks article 'a job'. Use commas and conjunctions to connect clauses properly.

× I don't I don't have job and I'm not student.

✓ I don't have a job and I'm not a student.

Repeated 'I don't' is unnecessary; also 'job' and 'student' need articles 'a'. Simplify the structure by removing repetition and adding articles.

× Where do you work?> Student: I don't have job at the moment.

✓ I don't have a job at the moment.

Missing article 'a' before 'job'. Ensure every noun that requires an article has one; sentence otherwise has a verb and is fine.

× so I'm looking, I'm, I'm looking for new job and I plan to work dessert hotel because I, I can, I can use English.

✓ So I'm looking for a new job and I plan to work at a resort hotel because I can use English there.

Add article 'a' before 'new job'. 'dessert hotel' is likely 'resort hotel' or 'dessert' is wrong; use 'at' before location 'work at a ... hotel'. Remove repeated fillers. Add 'there' to clarify using English on the job.

× No I I work at the factory for 15 years.

✓ No. I worked at a factory for 15 years.

Use past tense 'worked' for an action that occurred in the past. Add article 'a' before 'factory' and remove repetition 'I I'.

× My workplace was dirty and noisy environment so I I felt uncomfortable and eventually I decided to.

✓ My workplace was a dirty and noisy environment, so I felt uncomfortable and eventually decided to quit.

Add article 'a' before 'dirty and noisy environment'. Remove repeated 'I'. The sentence ends incomplete; add 'to quit' to complete the idea.

× No I don't like I didn't like my workplace because my the condition was dirty and noisy which made me feel uncomfortable.

✓ No, I didn't like my workplace because the conditions were dirty and noisy, which made me feel uncomfortable.

Use past tense 'didn't like' for past job. 'my the condition' is incorrect; use 'the conditions' or 'the condition'. Use plural 'conditions' and past 'were' to agree with plural.

× So I eventually I decided to quit my job and I'm look I'm looking for a new job.

✓ So I eventually decided to quit my job and I'm looking for a new one.

Remove duplicated 'I'. Use present continuous 'I'm looking' for current action. 'a new job' is correct but 'a new one' is more natural. Ensure tense consistency.

× I would like to remedial massage in Australia in the future.

✓ I would like to do remedial massage in Australia in the future.

'Would like to' should be followed by a base verb; 'remedial massage' is a noun phrase so add verb 'do' or say 'be a remedial massage therapist'. Choose appropriate verb form.

× So uh, I have to take the IS test and achieve a good score.

✓ So, I have to take the IELTS test and achieve a good score.

'IS test' likely refers to 'IELTS'. Use correct name of the test. Commas improve flow. No tense issue here but correct noun needed.

× So that's why I'm studying English every day. Umm.

✓ So that's why I'm studying English every day.

Original is acceptable apart from filler 'Umm'. Keep present continuous for ongoing study; remove filler for clarity.