Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Старайтесь давать более прямой и связный ответ, избегая лишних пауз и повторов. Начинайте с чёткой темы (я студент), затем кратко укажите прошлый опыт и планы на будущее. Уточните фразы: вместо «thinking about to connect my future» скажите «plan to pursue»; вместо «makes me pleasure about humans and people» используйте «gives me pleasure in working with people». Ограничьте ответ до 2–3 предложений и используйте связки (for now, previously, therefore).

例: I'm currently a student in the 11th grade. I used to work as a barista and I enjoyed it, so I plan to pursue that kind of work in the future because I enjoy interacting with people.

提案: Отвечайте прямо и грамотно: начните с «I don't work now» и объясните причину и желание. Упростите структуру и исправьте грамматику: «it gives me freedom», «flexible hours». Используйте связующие слова: «because», «so». Дайте 2–3 поддерживающих детали и избегайте разговорных междометий («uh, 'cause»).

例: I don't work at the moment, but I would like to be a barista in the future because it gives me freedom and flexible hours. Also, I enjoy meeting and helping different people.

提案: Формулируйте мысль более естественно: используйте «it depends on the person». Исправьте ошибки связности и грамматики: «enjoy communicating with people», «if you are an introvert», «if you are talkative and energetic». Приведите краткое объяснение причин (e.g., social interaction required). Держите 2–3 предложения.

例: It depends on the person. If you are an introvert who doesn't enjoy communicating with customers, you might not like it, but if you are talkative and energetic, working in a café can be very enjoyable because you meet many people.

提案: Будьте конкретнее и исправьте грамматику: вместо «my friends brother» — «my friend's brother's café», «I will always happy» — «I would always be happy». Уберите фразы «pleasure emotions» и скажите «it gives me pleasure» или «it makes me happy». Дайте одно-два конкретных примера, почему место комфортно (friendly staff, nice atmosphere).

例: Yes, I would like it because it's my friend's brother's café and the staff are very friendly. The atmosphere is comfortable and working there would make me happy.

提案: Отвечайте структурировано: начните с общей неопределённости, затем укажите конкретный интерес и причину. Используйте более точные формулировки: «I'm interested in jewellery design», «I enjoy creating handmade items and showing them to others». Добавьте возможный план (e.g., study or start a small business) и держите ответ в 2–3 предложениях.

例: I don't have definite plans yet, but I'm interested in jewellery design because I enjoy creating handmade items and showing them to people. In the future I might study design or start a small business making and selling my work.

× For now, I'm starting in 11th grade.

✓ For now, I'm in 11th grade.

The verb phrase 'I'm starting in 11th grade' implies a progressive action that is unnatural here; the student means their current grade. Use simple present progressive 'I'm in 11th grade' to indicate current status. Совет: используйте 'I'm in 11th grade' для обозначения текущего класса.

× I used to work as a barista and I liked it.

✓ I used to work as a barista, and I liked it.

Sentence is acceptable but needs a comma before the conjunction 'and' joining two independent clauses. The tense 'used to' correctly indicates past habitual action. Совет: ставьте запятую перед 'and' если соединяете два независимых предложения.

× now I'm thinking about to connect my future with this work.

✓ now I'm thinking about connecting my future with this work.

After 'thinking about' we must use the -ing form (gerund), not the infinitive with 'to'. Use 'connecting' to follow the preposition 'about'. Совет: после 'thinking about' используйте форму с -ing.

× It may. It gives me freedom and makes me pleasure about humans and people.

✓ It may; it gives me freedom and makes me feel pleasure when I meet people.

'It may.' is a fragment; combine ideas into one sentence. 'Makes me pleasure' is incorrect collocation — use 'makes me feel pleasure' or 'pleases me'. 'Humans and people' is repetitive; use 'people'. Совет: избегайте фрагментов и повторов, используйте 'makes me feel pleasure' или 'pleases me' и 'people'.

× I don't work at this time but maybe in the future I would be like to work in as a barista 'cause it's give me freedom and uh, it offers flexibility hours and I enjoy meeting and helping different people.

✓ I don't work at the moment, but maybe in the future I would like to work as a barista because it gives me freedom; it offers flexible hours, and I enjoy meeting and helping different people.

Multiple issues: 'at this time' is better as 'at the moment'; 'would be like to work in as' is incorrect — use 'would like to work as'; 'it's give' should be 'it gives' (subject-verb agreement); 'flexibility hours' should be 'flexible hours' (adjective order). Also replace informal ''cause' with 'because'. Совет: используйте 'would like to work as', согласование глагола 'it gives', и 'flexible hours'.

× Actually it depends on what human you are.

✓ Actually, it depends on what kind of person you are.

The phrase 'what human you are' is unnatural; use 'what kind of person you are' to ask about personality. Also add a comma after 'Actually'. Совет: используйте 'person' и уточняющее 'what kind of'.

× If you are not enjoying communicate with people or you are just an introvert, you won't like this job.

✓ If you do not enjoy communicating with people or you are just an introvert, you won't like this job.

'Are not enjoying' is awkward for a general habit; use simple present 'do not enjoy'. After 'enjoy' use gerund 'communicating', not the base verb 'communicate'. Совет: используйте 'do not enjoy communicating' для общих предпочтений.

× But if you are a talkative person who is have much energy, you will like it.

✓ But if you are a talkative person who has a lot of energy, you will like it.

'Who is have' is ungrammatical; use 'who has'. 'Much energy' with countable phrasing is better as 'a lot of energy' in this context. Совет: используйте 'who has a lot of energy'.

× Yes, I like because it's a cafe of my friends brother and it's a very comfortable place with great people and I will always happy and it gives me a pleasure emotions.

✓ Yes, I like it because it's my friend's brother's cafe, and it's a very comfortable place with great people; I am always happy there and it gives me pleasant feelings.

Multiple article and possessive errors: use possessive form 'my friend's brother's cafe'. 'I will always happy' needs verb 'am' for state: 'I am always happy there'. 'Gives me a pleasure emotions' is incorrect collocation — use 'gives me pleasant feelings' or 'gives me pleasure'. Совет: применяйте притяжательный падеж ('friend's brother's'), правильную связку 'I am always happy', и естественные словосочетания 'pleasant feelings'.

× I don't really know at the moment, but I like the jewelry design because I like to create something new with my hands and I like showing it to people and maybe my future job will connect with it.

✓ I don't really know at the moment, but I like jewelry design because I like to create new things with my hands and show them to people, and maybe my future job will be connected with it.

Use 'like jewelry design' (no 'the' unless referring to a specific program). 'Create something new' is acceptable but 'create new things' is more natural. Avoid repeating 'I like' too many times by combining clauses. 'Will connect with it' should be 'will be connected with it' or 'will be related to it' for passive relation. Совет: уберите лишние артикли, сократите повторения и используйте 'will be connected with' или 'will be related to'.