Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise in your first sentence and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your job, then add one or two specific details (where and role). Use linking words only if expanding. Keep it under five sentences.

例: I am a staff nurse at Saint Paul Hospital, working in the pediatric ward. I care for infants and children with various illnesses, focusing on monitoring their recovery and providing family support.

提案: Give a clear, grammatically correct statement about your workplace and length of employment, and avoid conflicting names. Use a linking phrase to add duration if needed. Be specific about the hospital name and your role to add clarity.

例: I work at Saint Paul Hospital in Togaro, and I have been there for almost a year. I am part of the pediatric nursing team, mainly caring for young patients.

提案: Answer directly, then support with two specific reasons. Avoid unclear phrases and pronunciation-like errors in writing. Use linking words (because, so, and) to connect ideas and be concise. Correct the hospital name and refer to concrete examples of what makes it good.

例: Yes, it is a good place to work because the pediatric ward has a supportive team and good facilities. For example, we have modern monitoring equipment and regular training, which helps me see clear improvements in my young patients.

提案: Be natural but avoid filler words (uh). State your opinion clearly and give a specific reason; correct unclear phrases (e.g., 'pizza patients'). Use one supporting detail and a linking word like 'because' to make it coherent.

例: Yes, I really like working there because I enjoy caring for children. Seeing them recover after treatment is very rewarding and motivates me every day.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence about your plan, then add specific details: what you will do, when, and why. Correct unclear terms (e.g., 'Euchre UKRN') and use correct verb forms. Keep sentences concise and logical with linking words like 'so' or 'therefore.'

例: My future plan is to apply for a nursing position in the UK. I will start preparing my documents in January 2027 so I can complete the registration and move there for further professional development.

× Yes, I work as a staff nurse in Saint Paul Hospital.

✓ Yes, I work as a staff nurse at Saint Paul Hospital.

Use of preposition: 'work at' is the correct collocation for a workplace. This is a sentence structure/preposition issue (11 and 26). Use 'at' with specific institutions and correct word order is already fine.

× I work there as a pediatric nurse.

✓ I work there as a pediatric nurse.

This sentence is acceptable; no change needed. It correctly states role and location. Confirmed as correct structure.

× I work at Simple Hospital of Togaro Incorporated for almost a year.

✓ I have worked at Simple Hospital of Togaro Incorporated for almost a year.

Tense issue: the time expression 'for almost a year' with ongoing activity requires the present perfect continuous or present perfect simple. Use 'have worked' to link past to present. This is a present tense/past tense problem (6/5) but guided by list choose present tense issue (6).

× Yes, in my own perspectives St. Paul hospital together out is good place to work where I specialize in pediatric ward where I care for PJ patients and I love working with kids and I can see their recovery.

✓ Yes, from my perspective, St. Paul Hospital is a good place to work. I specialize in the pediatric ward where I care for pediatric patients; I love working with children and seeing their recovery.

Multiple errors: incorrect preposition/phrase 'in my own perspectives' should be 'from my perspective' (11/26). 'St. Paul hospital' needs capitalization and definite article is optional with proper name; use 'St. Paul Hospital'. Remove 'together out' which is incorrect (26). Use 'the pediatric ward' (article error 17/22). 'PJ patients' is unclear; replace with 'pediatric patients' for clarity (12/13). Sentence run-on: split into two or more sentences to improve structure (26). Use 'children' instead of 'kids' in formal speech and 'seeing their recovery' is a clear verb phrase.

× Yes, from my perspective, I like the place where I work because I love kids.

✓ Yes, from my perspective, I like the place where I work because I love children.

Style and word choice: 'kids' is informal in a formal speaking test; 'children' is preferred. Structure and tense are correct. This is an adjective/pronoun choice issue (12/13).

× I love, uh, serving pizza patients where I can see their recovery.

✓ I enjoy caring for pediatric patients where I can see their recovery.

Multiple issues: 'serving pizza patients' is incorrect word choice—likely mispronunciation/mistake for 'pediatric' or 'patient care' (13/26). Use 'caring for' or 'serving' but 'caring for pediatric patients' is natural. Remove filler 'uh' in formal answer. Maintain tense and clarity.

× Since I have been working at Saint Paul Hospital of Togegara for almost a year, my future work plans are a start processing my documents on January 2027 for my Euchre UKRN journey because I wanted to.

✓ Since I have been working at Saint Paul Hospital of Togegara for almost a year, my future work plan is to start processing my documents in January 2027 for my UK journey because I want to.

Several issues: 'my future work plans are a start processing' is ungrammatical—use 'my future work plan is to start processing' (26/6). Preposition with months is 'in January 2027' not 'on' (11). 'Euchre UKRN' appears to be incorrect; likely intended 'UK' or 'UK RN' (registered nurse). Use 'UK journey' or 'UK RN application'—choose 'UK journey' for simplicity (13/12). 'because I wanted to' should be 'because I want to' to match present/future intent (6/7).