Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail. Avoid filler words like “so basically” and correct tense mistakes (use “have been studying” not “I'm studying here from past two years”).

例: I am a student at Hachunga Agricultural University. I have been studying there for the past two years, and I expect to graduate next year.

提案: Provide a clear, direct opening sentence about your job, then one specific detail about what you do and why payment differs. Remove filler and improve phrasing (e.g., “I teach English online” rather than “doing a job that's online”).

例: I work as an online English tutor. I teach speaking and grammar to international learners, and I earn slightly more than other student tutors because I teach in a specialized program for international students.

提案: Answer directly and give one or two clear reasons with linking words. Avoid vague phrases and repetition; use correct grammar (e.g., “there is not much noise”).

例: Yes, it is a good place to work because it is quiet and I can teach without interruptions. As a result, I can focus on my students and deliver lessons more clearly.

提案: Keep the answer concise and correct unclear or incorrect words (e.g., 'open shop' vs 'online job', 'rules and regulations'). Give one clear reason and an example of what you appreciate. Avoid irrelevant details like 'I have to eat by myself.'

例: Yes, I enjoy working online because it is quiet and flexible. For example, I can schedule lessons at times that suit me and I am not bound by strict office rules.

提案: State your goal clearly and give one realistic step or plan to achieve it. Use linking words to show purpose or methods, and avoid repeating the same idea. Mention specific actions you will take (study, gain experience, apply).

例: I hope to become a university teacher at a top institution like Harvard. To achieve this, I plan to complete my master's and PhD, publish research, and gain teaching experience through online and university tutoring so I can exchange ideas with students and colleagues.

× So basically I'm currently a student at Hachunga Agricultural University and I'm studying here from past two years and I'll be graduating next year in Shala.

✓ So basically I'm currently a student at Hachunga Agricultural University and I've been studying here for the past two years, and I'll be graduating next year in Shala.

The student used 'I'm studying here from past two years' which is incorrect for an action that started in the past and continues to the present. Use the present perfect continuous 'have been studying' or present perfect 'have studied' with 'for the past two years'. Also add 'the' before 'past two years'. This matches the ongoing situation and the future graduation.

× So currently I am doing a job and that's online. I teach the students English and I'm getting paid a bit more than other students because I'm an international student.

✓ So currently I have an online job teaching English to students, and I'm paid a bit more than other tutors because I'm an international student.

The phrase 'doing a job' is awkward; use 'have a job' or 'have an online job'. 'Teach the students English' should be 'teaching English to students' for natural word order. 'Getting paid a bit more than other students' is unclear—likely meant 'other tutors' or 'other online teachers'. Simplify and use present simple 'I'm paid' to describe a regular situation.

× Yes, it's a good place to work and you have your own comfort zone and you can do whatever you can do in the background and there is no much noise around you. You can deliver your speech easily to other people.

✓ Yes, it's a good place to work: you have your own comfort zone, you can do things in the background, and there isn't much noise around you. You can deliver your speech easily to other people.

Use 'not much noise' or 'there isn't much noise' rather than 'there is no much noise'. 'Do whatever you can do' is redundant; 'do things' or 'do whatever you need' is clearer. Break into clearer clauses and use correct negative form.

× Yes, I like the place where I work and again I'll say it's an online shop, it's an online teaching so it's a quiet place and without any interruption I have to deliver my speeches, I have to eat by myself. There is no such rogen rules and regulations of any one to me

✓ Yes, I like the place where I work. It's online teaching, so it's a quiet place and I can deliver my lessons without interruption. I take care of my own meals. There are no strict rules or regulations applied to me.

Use 'online teaching' or 'an online teaching job' rather than 'online shop' (which is wrong). 'Deliver my speeches' should be 'deliver my lessons' in this context. 'I have to eat by myself' is odd; 'I take care of my own meals' is clearer. 'There is no such rogen rules and regulations of any one to me' is ungrammatical: use 'There are no strict rules or regulations applied to me'. Fix article agreement and pluralization.

× My future work plans are to be a good teacher at Harvard University and I can deliver my ideas to other students and gain some more knowledge from them and then it's the way that we can exchange our thoughts and gain more knowledge from each other.

✓ My future work plan is to become a good teacher at Harvard University, where I can share my ideas with students and learn from them. That way we can exchange thoughts and gain knowledge from each other.

Use 'plan' singular or 'plans are to become' — 'to be a good teacher' is acceptable but 'to become a good teacher' is more natural. Use 'where I can share' rather than 'I can deliver my ideas'. 'Gain some more knowledge from them' is wordy; 'learn from them' is concise. Restructure the sentence for clarity and natural future intent.