Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and grammatical. Start with a direct topic sentence stating your status, then give one brief detail about your job using correct verbs and nouns. Avoid filler words and unclear phrases.

例: I'm not a student; I work part-time as a barista in a coffee shop. I make drinks and serve customers during evenings and weekends.

提案: Give a clear location and one specific reason why it's convenient. Use simple, correct sentences and link ideas with words such as "because" or "so".

例: I work in my hometown, near the main train station. It's very convenient because it's close to public transport and many customers pass by.

提案: Answer the question directly with a clear opinion and support it with one or two concrete reasons. Use present tense for general statements and avoid fragmented sentences.

例: Yes, it's a good place to work because my managers are supportive and the atmosphere is friendly. For example, they help new staff learn tasks quickly.

提案: Start with a direct response (Yes/No) then give two specific reasons. Use linking words like "because" and keep sentences concise and grammatical.

例: Yes, I like my workplace because my coworkers are friendly and welcoming. They patiently teach me the tasks, which makes it easy to learn despite being new.

提案: Give a clear goal and one or two specific actions you might take. Avoid hesitation phrases and be concise. Use correct structures for expressing plans (e.g., "I hope to...", "I plan to...").

例: I'm still deciding, but I hope to work in community services. For example, I plan to volunteer with local programs that help immigrants integrate and organize cultural events to bring locals and newcomers together.

× I'm not a student, I walk a coffee as a part time job stuff.

✓ I'm not a student; I work in a coffee shop as a part-time job.

The student used 'walk a coffee' and 'stuff' incorrectly. Use the verb 'work' (correct spelling) and the preposition 'in' with 'coffee shop'. 'Part-time' is a compound adjective before 'job' and 'shop' is the correct noun. Also replace informal 'stuff' with nothing or 'job'. Use a semicolon or period to separate clauses.

× I work at our hometown, which is a very perfect picture and the places in the station, so which is very convenient to go there.

✓ I work in my hometown, which is a very picturesque place near the station, so it is very convenient to get there.

Use 'in' with 'hometown' rather than 'at'. 'My' is more natural than 'our' when speaking about personal workplace. 'Very perfect picture' is incorrect; use 'picturesque' or 'a very nice place'. 'Places in the station' is unclear; 'near the station' is appropriate. Replace 'which is very convenient to go there' with 'so it is very convenient to get there' for correct pronoun and verb use.

× This week so I worked for about. That's good, but from now on it's very they are very nice.

✓ This week I worked for a while, which was good, and from now on they are very nice to me.

The original has incomplete and disjointed clauses. Remove filler 'so' and complete 'worked for about' with 'for a while'. Combine ideas: past action ('I worked') and current state ('they are very nice'). Use 'to me' for clarity. Ensure verbs and clauses are complete.

× Where I would I like this the place I work now because the coworkers are very nice and friendly so even I'm new they are very kind to teach me.

✓ I like the place where I work now because my coworkers are very nice and friendly; even though I'm new, they are very kind and teach me.

The sentence had misplaced words ('Where I would I like this') and missing conjunctions. Use 'I like the place where I work now'. Use 'my coworkers' rather than 'the coworkers' for possession. 'Even though I'm new' is the correct subordinating clause, and 'teach me' fits better than 'to teach me'. Use semicolon or comma to connect clauses.

× Well, that's really difficult question. I'm still thinking actually, but I what I'm thinking now is to the to be the person who can help community in my local in my place to get involved immigrants and local people.

✓ Well, that's a really difficult question. I'm still thinking, but what I'm considering now is becoming a person who can help my local community get immigrants and local people involved.

Use the article 'a' before 'really difficult question'. Remove redundant 'actually' or place it properly. 'What I'm thinking now is to the to be' is ungrammatical; use 'what I'm considering now is becoming'. Use 'my local community' for possession and correct word order: 'help my local community get immigrants and local people involved' or 'help immigrants and local people get involved in my community'. Ensure infinitive and noun forms are correct.