Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more concise and grammatically accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details. Avoid repetition and incorrect word forms (e.g., "room" -> "role"). Use linking words if you add details.

例: I work full time as an assistant engineer at a power plant. In my role in the maintenance department, I prepare maintenance reports and carry out repairs on machinery, so I spend most days inspecting equipment and coordinating with technicians.

提案: Give a direct, clear answer and use correct vocabulary. Begin with a simple statement of the workplace, then add one specific detail about the type of plant. Avoid vague or incorrect phrasing (e.g., "combines").

例: I work at a government-owned power plant. Specifically, it is a natural-gas-fired power station where electricity is generated from gas turbines.

提案: Answer directly and organize supporting details with linking words. Correct article use and phrasing ("a good place", "by the Bomber [River]"). Limit yourself to two supporting points and avoid fillers like "you know."

例: Yes, it is a good place to work. For one, the plant is located beside the Bomber River, so the scenery is pleasant; additionally, my colleagues are very helpful and cooperative, which makes daily work easier.

提案: Give a balanced answer with clear contrast using linking words (e.g., "however"). Use correct tense and natural expressions ("work in the sun", "it's too hot"). Be specific about when the problem occurs.

例: Overall, I like my workplace; however, during outdoor maintenance I often have to work in the sun, which is uncomfortable because it becomes very hot and tiring.

提案: Give a clear, grammatically correct plan with specific steps and avoid slang (use "want to" instead of "wanna"). State which degree you prefer and what actions you are taking. Use linking words to sequence steps.

例: I plan to continue my studies and pursue a master's degree or a PhD in engineering. Currently I am preparing for entrance exams, and after I complete them I will apply for graduate programs that match my research interests.

× Currently working in a maintenance department and my room is to prepare maintenance report and also perform maintenance activities of machinery equipment.

✓ I am currently working in the maintenance department, and my role is to prepare maintenance reports and also perform maintenance activities on machinery and equipment.

Missing subject and auxiliary verb (present continuous) and incorrect noun forms. Use 'I am currently working' for present continuous; 'role' fits job description; 'reports' plural; 'on machinery and equipment' uses correct preposition and noun coordination.

× Where do you work?>

✓ Where do you work?

Extra symbol '>' is not a grammar issue but a typographical error. Remove the '>' to form a correct question punctuation.

× Whether mentioned earlier, I work in a government.

✓ As I mentioned earlier, I work for the government.

'Whether' is wrong here; use 'As I mentioned earlier'. Use preposition 'for' with 'the government' to indicate employment.

× More specifically, it's the combines that combine electricity is being produced using natural gas.

✓ More specifically, it is a combined cycle plant where electricity is produced using natural gas.

Original is ungrammatical and repetitive. Use clear noun phrase 'combined cycle plant' and passive 'is produced' to describe electricity generation.

× Yes, it is the good place to work.

✓ Yes, it is a good place to work.

Use indefinite article 'a' before 'good place'; 'the' implies specific known place but not appropriate here.

× The location of power plant is by the river Bomber patrol.

✓ The power plant is located by the Bomber Patrol river.

Word order and preposition: use 'is located by' to describe location and put the river's name after 'by'. Capitalize proper name correctly.

× You know, you can see where you can see the large view of the river and also where my colleagues are all very much helpful and cooperative.

✓ You can see a wide view of the river, and my colleagues are very helpful and cooperative.

Remove redundant 'you can see where you can see'; use 'a wide view' not 'large view'; streamline sentence and fix adverb placement 'very helpful'.

× Overall I like the place where I work, but sometimes I have to work on the sun when maintenance work is going on.

✓ Overall I like the place where I work, but sometimes I have to work in the sun when maintenance is ongoing.

Use preposition 'in the sun' not 'on the sun'; 'maintenance is ongoing' is a better continuous phrase.

× I don't like much then because it was too much hot there.

✓ I don't like it much then because it is too hot there.

Tense mismatch: the speaker refers to current recurring situation so use present 'is'; 'too much hot' is incorrect - use 'too hot'; include 'it' as object.

× I wanna pursue a PhD or Ms. degree at work.

✓ I want to pursue a PhD or an M.S. degree while working.

Use formal 'want to' instead of slang 'wanna'; include article 'an' before 'M.S. degree'; 'while working' clarifies doing it alongside the job.

× Uh so that's why I'm preparing for hours now and after giving the hours income I will apply for PhD positions for my my interest alive.

✓ That's why I'm studying now, and after gaining experience I will apply for PhD positions to follow my interests.

Original is ungrammatical and contains unclear phrases ('preparing for hours', 'giving the hours income', 'my my interest alive'). Replace with clear verbs: 'studying' or 'preparing', 'gaining experience', and 'to follow my interests'.