Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response grammatically natural, concise and include a brief topic sentence with one supporting detail. Correct articles and word order: say "I'm a full-time nurse in India." Optionally add one short detail about setting or role.

例: I'm a full-time nurse in India. I work at a rural health center, mainly providing primary care and immunizations to local families.

提案: Use present tense for current job and produce a clear topic sentence with concise location detail. Improve grammar (articles, word order) and capitalize/place names consistently. Use a linking word if adding a second detail.

例: I work at the Health and Wellness Center in the village of Kheda Kalmot in Punjab. It serves several nearby villages and focuses on maternal and child health.

提案: Avoid fillers and repetition; keep to two or three clear sentences. Start with a direct opinion, then add one specific reason using a linking word. Correct awkward phrasing and word choice (e.g., "scenery" not "sceneries").

例: Yes, it's a great place to work because the village is surrounded by mountains and has peaceful scenery. As a result, I feel relaxed and can focus on my patients.

提案: Be concise and avoid repetition. Use one linking word to connect reasons and correct collocations ("supportive colleagues" and "enjoy each other's company"). Keep to two sentences max.

例: Yes, I like working there because the environment is calm and my colleagues are very supportive. We enjoy each other's company, which makes the job more pleasant.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence about your main plan, then add a specific step or timeframe. Use clearer grammar and avoid wordy phrasing. Use a linking word (e.g., "so" or "then") only once.

例: My main plan is to gain more clinical experience at my current center so I can qualify for a supervisory role. After two more years of experience, I hope to apply for a senior nurse position or further training in community health.

× I am full time worker as a nurse in India.

✓ I am a full-time worker as a nurse in India.

Missing indefinite article 'a' and hyphenation for 'full-time'. Use singular countable noun 'worker' with article: 'a full-time worker'. Hyphenate compound adjective before noun. Suggestion: include 'a' and hyphenate 'full-time'.

× I worked at a health and Wellness Center village Kedakalmot.

✓ I work at a Health and Wellness Center in the village of Kedakalmot.

The question asks 'Where do you work?' so present tense 'work' should be used, not past 'worked'. Also need preposition 'in' and article 'the' or 'a' with 'village of'. Capitalize proper name. Suggestion: use present tense and correct prepositions.

× It is situated in Punjab.

✓ It is situated in Punjab.

Sentence is correct. No change needed; included here only to indicate that preposition use is appropriate.

× Village Kheda Kalmot is a very beautiful village.

✓ Kheda Kalmot is a very beautiful village.

Redundant use of the word 'village' before and after the name. Use the place name followed by the description: 'Kheda Kalmot is a very beautiful village.' Suggestion: avoid repeating 'village'.

× The calm environment the the village is surrounded umm by uh mountains and uh beautiful sceneries are there.

✓ The village has a calm environment and is surrounded by mountains and beautiful scenery.

Original has disfluent fillers and redundancy. Correct structure: subject 'the village' with verbs 'has' and 'is surrounded by'. Use uncountable 'scenery' not 'sceneries'. Remove fillers 'umm', 'uh' and duplicate 'the'. Suggestion: simplify sentence and use correct uncountable noun.

× It is very nice to work in Kedak remote.

✓ It is very nice to work in Kheda Kalmot remote area.

Original appears to misname place 'Kedak remote'. Use correct village name and if meaning 'remote area', use 'remote area' (countable) or 'remotely'. Suggestion: use correct proper noun and appropriate noun 'remote area'.

× Would you like the place where you work?

✓ Do you like the place where you work?

This is examiner's question; no student correction needed. Included to indicate modal/question forms: 'Would you like' asks about preference; examiner intended 'Would you like the place' is unusual. No student correction required.

× Yes, I like the place where I work because the environment at my workplace is very calm.

✓ Yes, I like the place where I work because the environment at my workplace is very calm.

Sentence is correct in present tense; no change needed. It matches the question and uses proper tense and structure.

× The the people who work over there with me are very supportive.

✓ The people who work there with me are very supportive.

Remove duplicate 'the' and use 'there' rather than 'over there' which is informal; both are acceptable but 'there' is sufficient. Preposition 'with me' is correct. Suggestion: avoid duplication and informal 'over'.

× We enjoy each other companies.

✓ We enjoy each other's company.

Incorrect noun phrase: use the possessive form 'each other's' and singular 'company' (idiomatic). 'Each other' requires possessive + singular noun. Suggestion: use 'each other's company'.

× What are your future work plans?

✓ What are your future work plans?

Examiner's question is fine; no student correction needed.

× I want to gain more experience by working over there, the place at which I am working this time presently, so my future plans for work depends on my experiences.

✓ I want to gain more experience by working where I currently am, so my future work plans depend on my experience.

Multiple issues: tense/agreement and word choice. Use present continuous 'am working' simplified to 'where I currently am'. Subject-verb agreement: 'plans depend' (plural subject 'plans' needs 'depend', not 'depends'). 'Experiences' can be singular 'experience' as uncountable here. Remove redundant phrases 'this time presently'. Suggestion: simplify sentence, fix agreement, and remove redundancy.