Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your status, then give one or two brief supporting details (where you work and when you started). Use correct tense and articles (e.g., 'an intern doctor at Muno Medical College and Hospital').

例: I work as an intern doctor at Muno Medical College and Hospital. I completed my MBBS in November 2025 and began my internship on 12 June 2026.

提案: This answer is clear but can be slightly improved by adding a short detail about your role or responsibilities and by using the correct article ('the Obstetrics and Gynecology department'). Keep it concise and natural.

例: I work as a medical intern in the Obstetrics and Gynecology department at Muno Medical College and Hospital, where I assist with patient examinations and deliveries.

提案: Avoid fillers like 'um' and repeated phrasing. Begin with a direct statement, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., 'because' or 'as'). Mention concrete examples of friendliness or support.

例: Yes, it is a very good place to work because my co-interns and my mentor are supportive and approachable, and senior staff are always willing to teach.

提案: Combine ideas into a clear two-sentence response. Avoid repetition and correct grammar (e.g., 'they help me improve my skills'). Use linking words ('although', 'because') to show contrast and reason.

例: Yes, I like working there, although the job is demanding and the shifts are long. I enjoy it because my mentors and professors are supportive and help me improve my clinical skills.

提案: State your plan clearly and use precise phrasing. Replace redundant words ('analyze analysis') and use correct prepositions ('a PhD in biomedical science'). Add a brief reason or intended research focus to show purpose.

例: In the future I plan to pursue a PhD in biomedical science to conduct research on how medicines affect the body, particularly focusing on drug mechanisms and therapeutic effectiveness.

× Yes I work, I work in mono Medical College and hospital as an intern Dr.

✓ Yes, I work. I work at Muno Medical College and Hospital as an intern doctor.

Pronoun 'I' is fine but the sentence has capitalization and institution name errors; more importantly 'intern Dr.' is unnatural—use 'intern doctor'. Also use 'at' for institutions and capitalize proper nouns. Suggest splitting into two sentences for clarity.

× I passed the final professional MBBS examination in November 2025 and I joined my internship on 12th June 2026.

✓ I passed the final professional MBBS examination in November 2025 and I began my internship on 12 June 2026.

Use 'began' or 'started' rather than 'joined' to describe beginning an internship; both are past tense. Also use consistent date format and omit ordinal 'th' in formal writing. The error is choosing a less appropriate verb rather than tense, but correction improves naturalness.

× I work as a medical intern at Obstetrics and Gynecology department of Muno Medical College and Hospital.

✓ I work as a medical intern in the Obstetrics and Gynecology department of Muno Medical College and Hospital.

Use 'in' with 'department' rather than 'at' or omit preposition; include the definite article 'the' before 'Obstetrics and Gynecology department' to be natural. Also ensure proper noun spelling 'Muno'.

× Umm yes, for my opinion it's a very friendly place to work because my Co intern, my uh mentor, the CA uh, all of them are very friendly.

✓ Umm yes, in my opinion it's a very friendly place to work because my co-intern, my mentor and the chief assistant are all very friendly.

Use 'in my opinion' instead of 'for my opinion'. 'Co intern' should be 'co-intern' and avoid filler 'uh'. Use 'and' rather than commas before the last item; clarify 'CA' as 'chief assistant' (or the correct title). Pronoun use 'all of them are' can be simplified to 'are all'.

× That's why it's a very very friendly place to work.

✓ That's why it's a very, very friendly place to work.

Grammar is acceptable; change is punctuation and repetition spacing. No plural error, but provided minor correction for fluency.

× Yes, I like the place though my work is very demanding and it has a long duty schedule.

✓ Yes, I like the place, although my work is very demanding and I have a long duty schedule.

Use 'although' instead of 'though' at sentence start for formality; 'it has a long duty schedule' is awkward—use 'I have a long duty schedule' or 'the duties are lengthy' to match subject.

× But I like it because my my mentor, my professors, they are very supportive and they helps to improve my skills and they didn't even mind.

✓ But I like it because my mentor and my professors are very supportive; they help me improve my skills and do not mind assisting.

Remove duplicate 'my'. Subject-verb agreement: 'they helps' is incorrect—use 'they help'. Use 'help me improve' rather than 'helps to improve my skills'. 'They didn't even mind' is past tense and unclear, so use present 'do not mind assisting' to match ongoing support.

× In future, I want to pursue a PhD degree on biomedical science and I want to analyze analysis and research on the biomedical field or how the medicine works on our body.

✓ In the future, I want to pursue a PhD in biomedical science and conduct research on the biomedical field, studying how medicines work in the human body.

Use 'in the future' and 'pursue a PhD in' rather than 'on'. 'Analyze analysis' is redundant; use 'conduct research' or 'analyze data'. 'How the medicine works on our body' is unidiomatic—use 'how medicines work in the human body'. Maintain future intention with 'want to' and consistent noun phrases.