Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Nên trả lời trực tiếp, ngắn gọn và đúng ngữ pháp. Tránh lỗi cơ bản như thiếu mạo từ và chia động từ. Nên bổ sung thêm một câu giải thích rõ ràng, dùng từ vựng phù hợp để diễn đạt cảm xúc một cách tự nhiên.

例: I'm a university student. I'm a bit nervous about my first year because it's a big change from high school and I need to manage my time and studies better.

提案: Câu trả lời lộn xộn, nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và ý không rõ ràng. Nên trả lời trực tiếp theo câu hỏi (nơi làm hoặc học), dùng cấu trúc ngắn gọn, tránh từ lóng (wanna, fry) và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp. Bổ sung linking words để câu mạch lạc hơn.

例: I don't currently work; I'm studying finance at university. I hope to find a graduate job in finance after I finish my degree because I want to develop my analytical and practical skills.

提案: Ý chính tốt nhưng sắp xếp câu và ngữ pháp cần cải thiện. Tránh dịch sát từ tiếng Việt. Dùng linking words (for example, because, and) để liệt kê lí do rõ ràng, cung cấp một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể về môi trường làm việc.

例: Yes, it's a good place to work because the team is friendly and management provides regular training. Also, the flexible hours allow me to balance my part-time job with my studies.

提案: Câu trả lời không rõ nghĩa, nhiều lỗi từ vựng và cấu trúc. Nên trả lời trực tiếp về cảm nhận cá nhân, dùng từ ngữ chính xác (comfortable, supportive, close-knit) và đưa ví dụ cụ thể (ví dụ hoạt động cùng đồng nghiệp).

例: Yes, I like the place because it's comfortable and my colleagues are supportive like a second family. For example, we often have lunch together and organize small social events after work.

提案: Câu trả lời quá ngắn và không hoàn chỉnh. Cần nêu kế hoạch cụ thể (loại công việc, ngành, kỹ năng muốn phát triển) và lý do. Dùng cấu trúc rõ ràng: I plan to..., because..., and I hope to....

例: I plan to look for a position in corporate finance after I graduate because I want to gain experience in financial analysis. I hope to join a company where I can develop my skills and take on more responsibility over time.

× Oh well, I'm student and I'm frightened of year of university.

✓ Oh well, I'm a student and I'm frightened of the first year of university.

Needs article 'a' before singular count noun 'student' and 'the' before a specific year; also add 'first' for clarity so sentence makes sense.

× To be honest, I am a student and as a finance my program at university because I I wanna fry a new job in the future because I want to improve in the skill and.

✓ To be honest, I am a student studying finance at university because I want to find a new job in the future and improve my skills.

Multiple structural and word-choice errors: 'studying finance' is the correct phrase for a course; 'find' not 'fry'; remove duplicated 'I'; 'want to improve my skills' is correct noun phrase. Simplify and reorder to create a clear coordinated sentence.

× Yes, it's a good place to go because the team is friendly and management proud of learning for a simple day of a training course and flexible hours so I can pay and work and study.

✓ Yes, it's a good place to work because the team is friendly and management supports training days, and the flexible hours allow me to work and study.

Use 'work' not 'go' for workplace. 'Management proud of learning' is incorrect — use 'management supports training' or 'provides training days'. 'Flexible hours allow me to work and study' uses correct preposition and verb forms.

× Yes, I can play where work that offers is comfortable and my color my family so I feel relaxed during the day.

✓ Yes, the workplace they offer is comfortable and feels like home, so I feel relaxed during the day.

Original has wrong pronouns and odd phrases ('play where work', 'my color my family'). Clarify subject 'the workplace' and use 'they offer' or 'it offers'; 'feels like home' conveys comfort.

× First time we often have plans to go together and have each other with us.

✓ Often we make plans to go out together and support each other.

'First time' is wrong here; simplify to 'Often we make plans to go out together' and 'support each other' conveys mutual help. Corrects word order and collocation.

× Well, I plan to the performance new job in new company in the future because it is.

✓ Well, I plan to find a new job at a different company in the future.

'Plan to find a new job' is correct verb phrase; 'at a different company' or 'in a new company' is better than 'performance new job'. Remove trailing 'because it is' which is incomplete. Clarify intent and correct word order.