Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Старайтесь давать чёткий и краткий ответ на вопрос, избегая повторов и запинок. Начните с прямого предложения (topic sentence), затем добавьте одну-две конкретные детали. Используйте связующие слова (for example, next year) и избегайте неясных фраз. Также исправьте грамматические ошибки в будущих временах и числах (например, "I will get" / "I am ready").

例: I'm a college student and this is my final year. I'm 17 years old, and next year I plan to take the IELTS; I'm aiming for a 7.5 score.

提案: Отвечайте прямо и стройно: сначала подтверждение, затем одна причина или план. Избегайте лишних наполнителей (uh, um). Уточняйте время действий (next year) и используйте правильную грамматику модальных глаголов (may/might, will).

例: No, I don't work at the moment. I am studying at college and I might look for a part-time job next year after I finish my exams.

提案: Давайте связный ответ: сначала общее мнение, затем 1–2 конкретные причины. Избегайте бессвязных фраз и неправильного порядка слов. Используйте подходящие слова для описания места (busy, friendly, convenient) и примеры из опыта, сформулированные ясно.

例: Yes, it's a good place to work because it's busy and there are many friendly people. For example, I enjoy talking with customers during breaks, which makes the job enjoyable.

提案: Отвечайте прямо: выражайте предпочтение и объясняйте почему. Используйте простые, точные выражения для описания типа работы (business, farm work) и причин (flexible hours, income). Избегайте повторов и незавершённых мыслей.

例: Yes, I would like to work in business because it can provide a steady income. However, I am also interested in farming because it offers flexible hours and a closer connection to nature.

提案: Стройте ответ: краткий план с конкретными целями (raise my salary / find a stable job), мотивы и один пример шага для достижения цели. Используйте правильную лексику (salary, earn money, support my family) и грамматику будущего времени.

例: In the future I plan to find a stable job that pays well so I can support my family and travel. To achieve this, I will improve my skills and apply for internships related to my field.

× I'm a student and now I'm studying at college and this is my last time uh at the college.

✓ I'm a student and now I'm studying at college; this is my last year at the college.

Sentence uses 'time' incorrectly for 'year' and has run-on structure. Use 'year' to indicate academic year and join clauses with a semicolon or break into two sentences. Ensure subject and verbs are in present continuous for ongoing action.

× Uh I am 17 years old. The next year I I will get 7.5 aisles and now I am uh to ready to almost ready to get the.

✓ I am 17 years old. Next year I expect to get a 7.5 IELTS score, and now I am almost ready to take the test.

Original sentence has incorrect word 'aisles' instead of 'IELTS' and incorrect structure 'will get' for expectation. Use 'expect to get' to express anticipated result and 'take the test' for sitting an exam. Correct article 'a 7.5 IELTS score' and remove redundancy.

× Uh, no, I'm not working. Uh, now I'm studying at uh college the next year I will maybe to get the work because I to pass the university and also.

✓ No, I'm not working. I'm studying at college now. Next year I might get a job because I plan to pass the university entrance, and so on.

Run-on sentence with improper infinitive 'to get the work' and missing modal/syntax. Use 'might' for possibility and 'get a job' for working. 'Pass the university' should be 'pass the university entrance exam' or 'get into university'.

× Yes, it's a good place because there are so many the frequently people and we talk about when I was have time and also I I love it to the door because when I was a child I like.

✓ Yes, it's a good place because there are many people who come frequently, and we talk when I have free time. I also like it there because when I was a child I enjoyed it.

'So many the frequently people' is ungrammatical; use 'many people who come frequently'. 'When I was have time' mixes tenses; use 'when I have free time'. 'Love it to the door' unclear — replaced with 'like it there'. Maintain consistent present/past tense forms.

× I'm like to the business because business is the money, the mean actually I prefer to go to farm business.

✓ I like business because it makes money; actually, I prefer to go into farm business.

Incorrect use of 'I'm like to' should be 'I like'. 'Business is the money' is awkward—use 'it makes money'. 'Go to farm business' should be 'go into farm business' or 'start a farm business'.

× Farm business it's be it will be enough time. You can get some some money and but you can lose them but.

✓ A farm business will give you enough time. You can earn some money, but you can also lose it.

'Farm business it's be it will be' mixes forms; use 'A farm business will give'. 'Get some some money' -> 'earn some money'. 'Lose them' uses plural pronoun for 'money' (uncountable); use 'lose it'. Remove redundant 'but'.

× My future work plans it will be to raise my salaries.

✓ My future work plan is to increase my salary.

Redundant subject 'it' and plural 'salaries' wrong for one person. Use 'plan is to' and singular 'salary'.

× Because I live in my salaries I need some money.

✓ Because I live on my salary, I need more money.

Use 'live on' with 'salary', not 'in'. 'Salaries' should be singular if referring to one's income. 'Some money' unclear; 'more money' fits context.

× Because I'm a student I need some money and help my family and also be travel around the world.

✓ Because I'm a student, I need money to help my family and also to travel around the world.

Incorrect infinitive forms and missing 'to'. Use parallel structure: 'to help' and 'to travel'. Remove 'be' and redundant words.

× It's a neat some money.

✓ I need some money for that.

'It's a neat some money' is ungrammatical and unclear. Replace with 'I need some money for that' to express the intended meaning clearly.