Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (I am a student) then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid unclear or incorrect word choices (e.g., 'contemplate' -> 'pursue', 'grateful' -> 'successful' or 'accomplished') and reduce repetition.

例: I am a student. I recently completed my postgraduate degree at CGC Landra, and I plan to pursue a PhD abroad to advance my research skills and career in science.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repeating previous information. Provide a concise reason or one specific detail about your plans. Use natural linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas.

例: I don't work; I am a full-time student. I plan to study abroad because it will give me better research opportunities and improve my career prospects.

提案: Clarify the question and answer accordingly. If asked about working, briefly say you cannot judge as you didn't work there, then comment on studying there with specific reasons (e.g., strong faculty, good placements). Keep it to two sentences and avoid repeating the same point.

例: I haven't worked there, so I can't comment on working conditions. However, as a student I found CGC Landra excellent for academics because it has experienced faculty and strong placement support.

提案: Interpret the question properly: if you don't work there, say so and then answer whether you would like to work or study there. Be specific about what you like (teaching quality, facilities) and avoid vague praise. Use one linking phrase to add a reason.

例: I don't work there, but I would like to study or work at CGC Landra because the teaching quality is excellent and the campus has good research facilities.

提案: Structure your answer clearly: state short-term and long-term plans briefly and give one specific action for each. Avoid repetition ('I want to be a researcher in which I research') and add concrete steps (e.g., do a PhD, join a lab).

例: Short-term, I plan to start a PhD program and work as a research assistant to gain lab experience. Long-term, I aim to become a research scientist and develop innovative technologies in my field.

× I am a student, I recently completed my post graduation from CGC land draw and right now I want to contemplate my PhD from abroad.

✓ I am a student. I recently completed my postgraduation at CGC Landra and right now I want to pursue my PhD abroad.

Errors: incorrect article and phrase choices. 'post graduation' should be 'postgraduation' or 'postgraduate studies'; use preposition 'at' for institutions. 'land draw' appears to be a misspelling of 'Landra'. 'contemplate my PhD' is not idiomatic; use 'pursue my PhD'. Use full stops instead of comma splice. Suggestion: use correct institution name, 'postgraduation' or 'postgraduate degree', 'pursue' for study intention and separate independent clauses with periods.

× I want to become a grateful scientist with plenty of innovations.

✓ I want to become a successful scientist who contributes many innovations.

'grateful scientist' is incorrect meaning; likely meant 'successful' or 'accomplished'. 'with plenty of innovations' is awkward; use 'who contributes many innovations' or 'who makes many innovations'. Suggestion: choose the adjective that matches intended meaning and use a relative clause for clarity.

× As I told you, I am planning to pursue my higher studies from abroad, which gives me the great future career and the opportunities as well.

✓ As I told you, I am planning to pursue my higher studies abroad, which will give me a great future career and many opportunities.

Preposition 'from abroad' is incorrect for studying; use 'abroad'. 'gives me the great future career' is awkward and tense mismatch; use 'will give me' for intended future benefit and 'a great future career' and 'many opportunities'. Suggestion: use correct prepositions and future tense 'will' for expected outcomes.

× I am a student, I completed my masters from CGC Landra.

✓ I am a student. I completed my master's degree at CGC Landra.

'masters' needs possessive apostrophe and 'degree' for clarity: 'master's degree'. Use preposition 'at' for institution. Also separate clauses into sentences. Suggestion: write 'master's degree at [institution]'.

× I do not work anywhere but if I have to tell you that it is a great place to study then I can say yes it is.

✓ I do not work anywhere, but if I have to tell you, it is a great place to study, so I would say yes.

Awkward phrasing and punctuation. 'anywhere' is acceptable, but sentence needs commas and smoother connectors. 'then I can say yes it is' is redundant; use 'so I would say yes.' Suggestion: use commas and concise phrasing.

× That gives you a great future prospect and the placements as well for the better career.

✓ It offers good future prospects and placements for a better career.

'gives you' is informal; 'prospect' should be plural 'prospects'. 'the placements as well for the better career' is awkward; use 'placements for a better career'. Suggestion: prefer 'offers' and pluralize 'prospects'.

× As I mentioned before that I am a student, I completed my post graduation.

✓ As I mentioned before, I am a student and I completed my postgraduation.

Unnecessary 'that' after 'mentioned before' and punctuation issues. Combine clauses with 'and' or use separate sentences. Suggestion: remove 'that' and improve punctuation.

× It is a great college if someone wants to pursue their education from the quality of the education they are giving to students is incredibly outstanding.

✓ It is a great college for anyone who wants to pursue their education because the quality of education they provide is outstanding.

Run-on and mixed structures: 'if someone wants... from the quality...' is incorrect. Use a 'because' clause to explain reason and correct verb 'provide'. Use 'their' for gender-neutral but ensure agreement. Suggestion: restructure sentence: reason clause introduced by 'because'.

× I am recommending everyone.

✓ I recommend it to everyone.

'I am recommending everyone' wrongly makes people the object. You want to recommend the college, so say 'I recommend it to everyone.' Use simple present 'recommend' for habitual statements. Suggestion: specify the object and correct verb form.

× I have divided my work plan into two parts, the short term plan and the long term plan.

✓ I have divided my work plan into two parts: a short-term plan and a long-term plan.

Use hyphenated adjectives 'short-term' and 'long-term'. Use colon for listing. Suggestion: hyphenate compound adjectives and use articles for clarity.

× In short term plan, I want to be a researcher in which I research and my long term plan is I want to become a very successful scientist with plenty of innovations.

✓ In my short-term plan, I want to be a researcher conducting research, and my long-term plan is to become a very successful scientist who creates many innovations.

Tense and structure issues: 'in which I research' is awkward; use 'conducting research'. Use infinitive 'to become' for plan. 'plenty of innovations' is informal; 'creates many innovations' is clearer. Suggestion: use parallel structure and appropriate verb forms for plans.