Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammar and word choice errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler sounds (uh), use correct tense and article usage, and limit to 3–4 sentences. Add one specific example of your duties to make the answer more vivid.

例: I work as a dentist at a well-known clinic in Dhariwal, Gurdaspur. I have been there for two years, advising patients on oral hygiene and conducting workshops on tooth care. For example, last month I ran a community workshop teaching proper brushing techniques to young children.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and correct tense and word choice. Use linking words to sequence actions (first, then). Be specific about your role and routine without unnecessary repetition. Use present simple for routines and avoid past tense 'tried' if it is a habitual action.

例: I work at a well-established dental clinic in Dhariwal, Gurdaspur, and I have been there for two years. I usually arrive by bus at around 9:00. First I prepare the clinic, then I greet patients and speak to them in a friendly manner to put them at ease.

提案: Start with a clear opinion sentence, then give two specific reasons linked with connecting words (because, furthermore). Correct small language issues (use 'treating' without 'in', and 'affordable prices'). Keep it short and specific.

例: Yes, definitely. It is a well-established clinic because we have opportunities to improve our clinical skills, and furthermore we provide affordable treatments that help many local patients.

提案: Remove filler words and combine ideas into one concise response. Use linking words to add a reason (because) and one specific detail about the atmosphere to sound natural and convincing.

例: Definitely. I enjoy working there because the staff are friendly and supportive, and the clinic is very clean and hygienic, which makes patients more comfortable.

提案: Clarify vague phrases and correct word choice (e.g., 'journal training' is unclear). Use a clear topic sentence about your plan, give reasons and specific steps (e.g., further training, move to Canada, study or work there). Limit to 3–4 sentences and use future tense correctly.

例: I plan to pursue further clinical training to improve my practical skills. Specifically, I want to move to Canada to work and attend advanced dental courses, which will help me gain international experience and learn new techniques.

× Currently I am working as a journal dentist in top dental clinic Dhariwal Gurdaspur uh.

✓ Currently I am working as a general dentist at a top dental clinic in Dhariwal, Gurdaspur.

Errors: incorrect job title 'journal dentist' (word choice), missing articles and prepositions, and sentence structure issues. Use 'general dentist' if that is intended; include the article 'a' before 'top dental clinic' and the preposition 'in' for the location. Also add a comma between town and district. Suggestion: choose the correct professional title, and include necessary articles and prepositions to form a natural English sentence.

× I have been working there from last two years.

✓ I have been working there for the last two years.

Error: incorrect preposition 'from' used with a duration expression and missing definite article. Use 'for' with durations (for two years) and include 'the' in 'the last two years'. The tense (present perfect continuous) is appropriate to describe an action that started in the past and continues to the present.

× During my work I advise people about oral hygiene and also run some workshop.

✓ During my work I advise people about oral hygiene and also run some workshops.

Errors: pluralization and article usage. 'Workshop' should be plural ('workshops') when speaking generally; if singular, use 'a workshop'. Ensure subject-verb agreement with plurality. Also 'During my work' is acceptable but 'At work' or 'In my work' is more natural.

× As I state earlier, I work at top Dental clinic Dharwal Gurdaspur from last two years.

✓ As I stated earlier, I have been working at a top dental clinic in Dhariwal, Gurdaspur for the last two years.

Errors: tense and preposition. Use past simple 'stated' for referring to previous speech. Use present perfect continuous 'have been working' with duration 'for the last two years'. Include articles ('a top dental clinic') and preposition 'in' for location; add comma between place names. This aligns tense and makes sentence natural.

× I usually prefer going there at 9:00 and after reaching there via bus, I tried to communicate with my patient as a friendly.

✓ I usually prefer to go there at 9:00, and after arriving by bus, I try to communicate with my patients in a friendly way.

Errors: verb form after 'prefer' should be infinitive ('prefer to go'), preposition 'via' is less natural than 'by' for transport, tense inconsistency ('tried' past vs 'usually' present) — use present tense 'try', and 'patient' should be plural 'patients' if referring generally. 'As a friendly' is incorrect; use 'in a friendly way' or 'in a friendly manner.'

× Definitely, it is a well established clinic where we can enhance our skills and help people in treating their dental issues with an affordable amount.

✓ Definitely, it is a well-established clinic where we can enhance our skills and help people treat their dental issues at an affordable cost.

Errors: 'well established' needs a hyphen as a compound adjective 'well-established'. 'Help people in treating' is awkward — use 'help people treat'. 'With an affordable amount' is incorrect collocation; use 'at an affordable cost' or 'for an affordable fee.' Adjust word order and collocations for natural phrasing.

× Uh, definitely. I love their friendly staff and the atmosphere is also very clean and hygienic.

✓ Uh, definitely. I love the friendly staff there, and the atmosphere is very clean and hygienic.

Errors: 'their' is acceptable but 'the friendly staff there' is clearer. 'Also' is unnecessary with 'and' — keep concise. This improves naturalness and clarity. No major grammar error otherwise.

× What are your future work plans?

✓ What are your future work plans?

This sentence is grammatically acceptable. It matches the expected tense and form for asking about future plans. No correction needed.

× As I'm doing, I'll journal training.

✓ As I am currently working, I'll undergo further training.

Errors: 'I'll journal training' is incorrect word choice and unclear meaning. Replace with 'I'll undergo further training' or 'I'll take training' to convey intention. 'As I'm doing' is awkward; 'As I am currently working' clarifies context. Use future tense 'I'll' appropriately for future plans.

× I will definitely choose Canada for my future career and to enhance my clinical and practical skills.

✓ I will definitely choose Canada for my future career and to enhance my clinical and practical skills, I plan to study or train there.

Errors: sentence is slightly awkward and lacks parallel structure. 'Choose Canada for my future career' is acceptable but follow with a clear infinitive purpose or separate clause. Providing a verb for the second purpose ('to study' or 'to train') makes the intention explicit and grammatically parallel.