Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct: state your status first (graduate and current job), then give one or two supporting details. Avoid repeating articles and roles incorrectly. Use correct verb forms and article usage.

例: I recently graduated, and at the moment I work in a café as a barista and cashier. I enjoy it because I like interacting with customers and learning coffee-making skills.

提案: Give a clear location and correct the grammatical structure. Say the place name and describe commute clearly (e.g., distance or travel time). Avoid unclear phrases like “on our travel.”

例: I work at a café in Ordinate City, which is about a 20-minute bus ride from my home.

提案: Combine ideas into a single coherent sentence and fix grammar. Use linking words (because, and) properly, and give one specific example of supportive atmosphere or policies.

例: Yes, it's a great place to work because my bosses are kind and supportive, and the atmosphere is friendly — for example, they allow flexible shifts when staff need time off.

提案: Avoid repetition of ‘because’ and correct vocabulary ("fresh air", not "fresh airs"). Complete your sentence and add a specific detail about how the surroundings affect your mood or work.

例: Yes, I like it because the café is surrounded by many trees, so the air feels fresh and calm, which makes my shifts more pleasant.

提案: Make a clear, well-structured future plan: state your intention, give reason, and mention a concrete goal. Correct grammar (use 'will' or 'plan to', singular/plural agreement) and avoid repetition.

例: In the future I plan to relocate to a bigger city to find a job more related to my degree, because I want to pursue long-term career growth in a professional environment.

× I recently graduated so right now I am working in a cafe where I am a barista, cashier and the waitress and this is what I love doing.

✓ I recently graduated, so right now I am working in a cafe where I am a barista, a cashier and a waitress, and this is what I love doing.

The main issues are article and parallel form, involving verb + -ing usage for 'working' (present continuous) which is correct. Add articles before job nouns ('a cashier', 'a waitress') and use consistent noun forms. Also add a comma after the introductory clause. Suggestion: keep present continuous for current work and ensure articles and parallel structure for job titles. Grammar problem type id: 8

× I work at the Ordinate City where it is a on our travel from my home.

✓ I work in Ordinate City; it is on our route from my home.

Preposition choice and sentence structure are incorrect. Use 'in' for a city and 'on our route' rather than 'on our travel'. Also remove unnecessary 'the' before the city name and improve clause connection. Suggestion: use 'in' for locations and 'route' or 'the way' for travel paths. Grammar problem type id: 11

× Yes, it is a good place to work because my bosses are good and kind in the atmosphere is very accommodating and friendly.

✓ Yes, it is a good place to work because my bosses are kind and the atmosphere is very welcoming and friendly.

Awkward adjective use and connector problems. 'Good and kind' is redundant; use 'kind'. The phrase 'in the atmosphere is very accommodating' is ungrammatical; change to 'the atmosphere is very welcoming'. Suggestion: avoid redundancy and ensure clauses are joined correctly with 'and' or rewritten. Grammar problem type id: 13

× Yes, I like the place where I work because it has fresh airs, because it is surrounded by a lot of trees and.

✓ Yes, I like the place where I work because it has fresh air and is surrounded by many trees.

'Fresh airs' is incorrect; 'air' is uncountable. Remove duplicate 'because' and the trailing 'and'. Use 'many trees' instead of 'a lot of trees' for brevity or keep 'a lot of trees'. Suggestion: use uncountable nouns correctly and avoid repeating conjunctions. Grammar problem type id: 13

× I think my future work plans is I will relocate in a big city and find another job that that is the in my long term goals.

✓ I think my future work plans are to relocate to a big city and find another job as part of my long-term goals.

Subject-verb agreement: 'plans' (plural) requires 'are' not 'is'. Also incorrect verb patterns: use 'plans are to' followed by infinitive 'to relocate', and preposition 'to' for destination. Remove duplicated 'that' and fix phrase 'in my long term goals' to 'as part of my long-term goals'. Suggestion: match plural subjects with plural verbs and use correct infinitive and prepositions for plans.