Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (I am a student), then give one or two specific supporting details without hesitations or repetition. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' correctly and avoid filler sounds (uh, um).

例: I am a student. I recently finished my studies and now I am preparing for the IELTS exam because I want to go abroad to work or study.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repeating the same reason multiple times. Use one clear sentence to state your situation and one to give a brief reason. Reduce fillers and correct small grammar errors (e.g. 'preparing for the exam').

例: I don't have a job at the moment because I am preparing for the IELTS exam. I have been studying English intensively so I can go abroad.

提案: Clarify what 'it' refers to and give a short reasoned opinion. Use contrast linking words (however, but) correctly. One clear opinion sentence plus one specific reason will improve coherence.

例: Not really. My home is comfortable for living but it is not an ideal place to work because there are many distractions. However, sometimes I can work well there when it's quiet.

提案: Give a concise topic sentence and then one specific reason with an example. Avoid repetition and unclear phrasing. Use connecting words (because, so) to link ideas logically.

例: Yes, I like the place where I work. Because it is quiet and comfortable at home, I can concentrate on my studies and work more happily.

提案: State your plan clearly with a topic sentence, then give specific steps you are taking. Use correct verb forms (e.g. 'I plan to go abroad' not 'I will go abroad') and avoid fillers. Include one or two concrete actions (studying, gaining experience).

例: I am a doctor and I plan to work abroad in the future. To prepare, I am studying for the IELTS and practising my spoken English to improve my fluency and professional communication skills.

× Well, I'm a student, uh, recently I have completed my uh study and uh, now I re uh, studied at IELTS exam for IELTS exam because uh, I want to go abroad, that's why I study.

✓ Well, I'm a student. Recently I completed my studies and now I am studying for the IELTS exam because I want to go abroad, so I am preparing.

The original mixes present perfect and present simple awkwardly and misuses verbs. Use 'completed' (simple past) for a finished action 'recently I completed my studies'. Use 'am studying' (present continuous) for an action in progress 'now I am studying for the IELTS exam'. Replace 'study' repeated with 'preparing' for clarity. (ID 6)

× Basically, uh, this time I have no work. Uh, uh, I'm preparing for while exam, uh, and I want to go abroad. That's why, umm, I don't have any job. And uh, I recently I studied, uh, lot of time.

✓ At the moment I do not have a job. I'm preparing for the IELTS exam because I want to go abroad. I studied a lot recently.

Problems: incorrect word order and unnecessary words. Use 'At the moment' or 'At this time' and 'do not have a job' for present lack of employment. 'Preparing for the exam' requires 'for the IELTS exam'. 'I recently I studied, lot of time' should be 'I studied a lot recently' (correct adverb placement and word choice). (ID 26)

× No, uh, not really. It is, uh, not good place to work because, uh, it's a home and uh, it is comfortable for living and, uh, uh, uh, good place to work. Uh, uh, however, sometimes good place to work.

✓ No, not really. It is not a good place to work because it is a home and comfortable for living. However, sometimes it can be a good place to work.

Missing articles: use 'a good place' and 'a home'. Also clarify with 'it can be' for occasional suitability. Remove repetitions and fix sentence fragments. (ID 17)

× Yes, I like the place where I am. I work because I I like when I like the place. I concentrate my own work and happily work this. That's why I'm comfortable.

✓ Yes, I like the place where I am. I enjoy working there. I can concentrate on my work and work happily. That's why I feel comfortable.

Original has pronoun and reflexive issues and awkward phrasing. 'Concentrate my own work' should be 'concentrate on my work'. 'Happily work this' is ungrammatical; replace with 'work happily'. Use consistent pronouns and natural collocations. (ID 12)

× Well, uh, basically I'm a doctor. That's why, uh, I'm, uh, I want to go, I will go abroad, uh, in future. Uh, that's why I'm preparing for IELTS exam and uh, and uh, increase speaking English fluency.

✓ Well, basically I'm a doctor. I want to go abroad in the future, so I am preparing for the IELTS exam and improving my English speaking fluency.

Tense and verb form problems: use 'I want to go abroad in the future' (present simple for desire about future) or 'I will go' if intending to state a plan; here 'I want' fits. Use 'I am preparing' (present continuous) for current preparation. 'Increase speaking English fluency' should be 'improving my English speaking fluency' (correct verb form and word order). (ID 6)