Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence (I am a full‑time student), then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words (uh, well) and unclear phrases (Ildis). Pronounce and name important terms correctly and keep the answer within 2–3 sentences.

例: I am a full‑time student. I have just completed my undergraduate degree and I am preparing for the IELTS because I plan to go abroad next year to do a master’s program.

提案: Answer directly to the question: if you don't work, say so clearly, then add one brief specific plan or reason. Remove redundant phrases and fillers, and use correct grammar (I don’t work, I will get a job to gain new experience). Keep to 2 sentences.

例: I don’t work at the moment because I am a full‑time student. In the future I plan to find a job in my field to gain practical experience and improve my skills.

提案: Good structure and relevant examples. Improve by tightening language and using linking words for coherence (for example, moreover). Correct tense consistency (they allowed → they allowed me; I can learn → I have learned or I can learn). Keep to 2–3 sentences maximum.

例: Yes, it is a good place to work because the managers are supportive and the flexible hours help me maintain a work–life balance. For example, they let me change my shift for a medical appointment, and I have learned useful skills from senior staff.

提案: Be concise and correct grammar (it’s quite comfortable; staff is polite). Avoid repetition and fillers. Provide one clear example and correct sentence structure for it. Use linking words (so, therefore) to explain results concisely.

例: Yes, I like it because the workplace is comfortable and the staff are polite and friendly, so I can concentrate without distraction. For example, we have a small break room where colleagues chat and relax during breaks.

提案: Give a clear opening sentence stating your plan (I plan to move into management). Fix grammar (I enjoy leading projects; it will improve my communication and planning skills). Use one specific supporting detail about how you are preparing. Keep it to 2 sentences.

例: I plan to move into a management role at my company because I enjoy leading projects. To prepare for this, I am taking a short course in project management next year to improve my communication and planning skills.

× Uh, well, actually I am a full time student, uh, and I have just completed my graduation and now I am, as I'm preparing for my Ildis as a, as I have a plan to go abroad for my master's program.

✓ Uh, well, actually I am a full-time student, and I have just graduated and now I am preparing for my IELTS as I plan to go abroad for my master's program.

Use of present perfect 'have just completed my graduation' is awkward; 'have just graduated' is natural. 'Full time' should be hyphenated when used as an adjective: 'full-time'. 'Ildis' appears to be a misspelling of 'IELTS' — use the correct test name. Remove unnecessary filler and redundant phrases like 'as a, as I have a plan' and replace with 'as I plan to' to match present continuous for current preparation and present simple for future intention. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Before I mention that I am a full time student, I don't do any work, but in the future I will get a job and it will be best opportunity to me to gain uh something new experience.

✓ Before I mention that I am a full-time student, I don't do any work now, but in the future I will get a job and it will be the best opportunity for me to gain some new experience.

Several issues: 'full time' needs hyphen; sentence needed 'now' to clarify present state. Use article 'the' before 'best opportunity' and preposition 'for me'. 'Something new experience' is incorrect; use 'some new experience' or better 'some new experiences'. This corrects article and preposition usage and improves noun phrase formation. Grammar problem type ID:22

× Yes, I think it is a good place because the managers are really supportive and the hours are flexible so I can balance my life.

✓ Yes, I think it is a good place because the managers are really supportive and the hours are flexible, so I can balance my life.

Main grammar is acceptable; added comma before 'so' for clarity. No subject-verb mismatch, but punctuation improves sentence flow. Also 'balance my life' is okay though 'balance my work and life' could be clearer. This suggestion focuses on sentence structure and punctuation. Grammar problem type ID:26

× For example, they allowed me to change my shift when I had a medical appointment and I can learn new skills from senior staff.

✓ For example, they allowed me to change my shift when I had a medical appointment, and I can learn new skills from senior staff.

Use of past 'allowed' for a specific event is correct; keep comma before 'and' to join clauses. The second clause 'I can learn' correctly states a present ability. Ensure tense consistency between example (past event) and general ability (present). No major grammar change needed beyond punctuation. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Yes, uh, really I do like the place where I work because it quite comfortable and the Staffs are really polite and, uh, warm hearted.

✓ Yes, I really do like the place where I work because it is quite comfortable, and the staff are really polite and warm-hearted.

'It quite comfortable' lacks the verb 'is'. 'Staffs' is incorrect plural; 'staff' is a collective noun and should be singular with plural sense or 'staff members'. 'Warm hearted' should be hyphenated as 'warm-hearted'. Fixed word order and punctuation. Grammar problem type ID:27

× So I feel relaxed there and I can concentrate without any distraction.

✓ So I feel relaxed there and I can concentrate without any distractions.

Use plural 'distractions' rather than singular 'distraction' in this context. The rest of the sentence is fine; change improves noun form and natural collocation. Grammar problem type ID:11

× For example, we have a small break room where colleagues, uh, colleagues at the chat.

✓ For example, we have a small break room where colleagues chat together.

Original sentence lacks a verb and contains a repeated fragment. Use 'colleagues chat together' or 'colleagues can chat' to include the verb. 'Chat together' is natural; alternatively 'where colleagues can chat' adds modality. Grammar problem type ID:23

× When I have a plan in the future to move into a management role at my company and I would like this because I enjoy leading project and which will burdens my communication and planning skills.

✓ In the future, I plan to move into a management role at my company, and I would like this because I enjoy leading projects, which will strengthen my communication and planning skills.

'When I have a plan in the future' is wordy and awkward; use 'In the future, I plan to'. 'Leading project' should be plural 'leading projects'. The relative clause 'which will burdens my communication' has wrong verb form and meaning; use 'which will strengthen' or 'which will improve' and remove extra modal. Corrects tense, verb form, and word choice. Grammar problem type ID:6

× For example, I'm taking a short course in project management next year.

✓ For example, I'm taking a short course in project management next year.

This sentence is correct: present continuous used for a planned future event. No grammatical correction needed. Included for completeness. Grammar problem type ID:6