Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and correct tense; start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid redundancy and long phrasing. Use correct past/continuous tense: say when you started and describe your role briefly. Use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘so’ to connect ideas.

例: I work as a nurse at the municipal government hospital. I started there about a year ago, and I really enjoy it because I’m passionate about helping people with their health. For example, I often assist patients with medication and basic care, which I find rewarding.

提案: Give a direct, grammatically correct location statement first, then add one or two specific details about your role or responsibilities. Correct articles and time expressions (e.g., “a year ago” → “about a year ago”). Keep answers within 3–4 sentences.

例: I work at the municipal government hospital in my town. I started there about a year ago, working on a general ward where I assist with patient care and administering medication. I enjoy the work because I can directly help people recover.

提案: Answer directly with a clear opinion, then support it with a specific reason and example. Simplify phrasing and correct grammar (e.g., ‘caring for other people’). Use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘so’ to make the reason clear.

例: Yes, it’s a good place to work because I learn a lot on the job. For example, senior nurses teach me practical skills for patient care, so I feel I’m improving professionally.

提案: Give a direct, natural response and use correct grammar and tense. Avoid fragmented sentences; combine ideas with linking words. Be specific about what you like—colleagues, environment, training—and give a brief example.

例: Yes, I really like working there because I feel I belong and my colleagues are supportive. For instance, they helped me when I was new by explaining routines and offering advice.

提案: Give a clear direct answer about your plans, then expand with one specific possibility or goal. Use conditional language correctly and avoid repetition. Mention a realistic future step (e.g., training, specialization) to show direction.

例: At the moment I don’t have concrete plans; I want to focus on enjoying my work and gaining experience. However, if a training or promotion opportunity arises, I would definitely pursue it, such as specializing in emergency nursing to advance my career.

× I've been working at a government hospital here in our municipality a year ago and I enjoy a lot being a nurse here because it is my passion to help people who are in need when it comes to their health.

✓ I started working at a government hospital here in our municipality a year ago, and I enjoy being a nurse because it is my passion to help people who need health care.

The original mixes present perfect continuous ('I've been working') with a specific past time marker ('a year ago'), which is incorrect. Use simple past 'started' to refer to a specific past time. 'Enjoy a lot being' is awkward; use 'enjoy being' or 'enjoy my work'. Also change 'people who are in need when it comes to their health' to 'people who need health care' for clarity and conciseness.

× I work here in one of the government hospital in our municipality.

✓ I work here in one of the government hospitals in our municipality.

Singular 'hospital' is incorrect after 'one of the'. Use plural 'hospitals'. Also the phrase requires no extra article before 'government' when used with 'one of the' + plural noun.

× I started the year ago and all I can say is that I really enjoy being in here because it is really my passion to help people who are in need, especially when it comes to their health.

✓ I started a year ago, and all I can say is that I really enjoy being here because it is my passion to help people who need health care, especially regarding their health.

Use 'a year ago' rather than 'the year ago'. Remove 'in' before 'here' — say 'being here'. 'Who are in need' is wordy; 'who need health care' is clearer. Also avoid double 'really'; one is sufficient.

× I can say that it is a good place to work because this is that is the place where I learn a lot of things, especially when it comes to caring other people.

✓ I can say that it is a good place to work because it is where I learn many things, especially when it comes to caring for other people.

Original has redundant and incorrect phrases: 'this is that is the place' is ungrammatical and should be simplified. Use 'many things' instead of 'a lot of things' for formality. 'Caring other people' requires the preposition 'for': 'caring for other people'.

× Yes, I really like the place where I work because. I felt being belong to them and they are all kind.

✓ Yes, I really like the place where I work because I feel I belong there and my colleagues are kind.

Sentence broken after 'because' must be completed. 'I felt being belong to them' is ungrammatical: use present 'I feel I belong there' (present tense to match ongoing state) and refer to 'colleagues' or 'they' as 'my colleagues' for clarity. Use 'are kind' instead of standalone 'they are all kind' joined into the sentence.

× As of now, I don't have any future work plans. All I want is to enjoy what I am working with, what I am working for.

✓ As of now, I don't have any specific work plans. All I want is to enjoy the work I am doing and its purpose.

'Future work plans' is acceptable but 'specific work plans' is clearer. 'Enjoy what I am working with, what I am working for' is awkward. Use 'enjoy the work I am doing' (present continuous) and 'and its purpose' or 'and what I am working for' to make it natural.

× But if I would be given a chance or would be given an opportunity, I would definitely grab it.

✓ But if I were given a chance or an opportunity, I would definitely grab it.

In conditional sentences about hypothetical situations, use the subjunctive 'if I were given' (or simple past 'if I was given') rather than 'if I would be given'. Avoid repeating 'would be given'; 'if I were given a chance or an opportunity' is correct.