Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the reply grammatically complete and more concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your job, then give one or two specific details (role, responsibilities, and a comment about workload) using linking words. Avoid hesitations and unclear abbreviations (e.g., ASA, Co and UH) unless explained.

例: I currently work at the American School as an ASA coordinator and family welcome executive. In this role I organise after-school activities and help new families settle in, so I have a busy schedule. However, I try to maintain a healthy work–life balance by planning my week in advance.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repetitions and trailing off. Use one clear topic sentence naming the workplace, then add one or two specific details about the age range and why you enjoy it. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'so' and complete your final thought.

例: I work at the American School, an international school for children from kindergarten through grade 12. I enjoy it because I meet students of many ages every day, which broadens my experience and makes my job rewarding.

提案: Make a direct evaluation and give specific reasons. Use linking words (for example, 'because', 'also') and correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, countable nouns). Avoid filler words and tense errors.

例: Yes, it is a good place to work because everyone uses English, which helps my language skills. Also, the school library has many English books, so I often visit after work to read and relax.

提案: Express your opinion clearly in one sentence and support it with one or two specific examples. Remove repeated words and hesitations. Use a linking word such as 'because' and finish the thought about work–life balance.

例: Yes, I love my workplace because it offers many recreational opportunities, such as swimming, pickleball and running. This helps me maintain a good work–life balance after a busy day.

提案: State your plan clearly and use correct collocations (e.g., 'move into a managerial position' or 'take on a managerial role'). Give one or two specific goals you hope to achieve and avoid filler words. Use linking words like 'so' or 'in order to'.

例: In the future I want to move into a managerial position so I can lead a small team and develop my leadership skills. This will also allow me to broaden my knowledge of school management and educational practices.

× Currently am working as an ASA coordinator and Co and UH family welcome executive at the American school.

✓ Currently I am working as an ASA coordinator and Co and UH family welcome executive at the American School.

Subject-verb agreement / missing subject: The sentence omits the subject 'I' before 'am working'. Always include the subject to match the verb form. Also capitalise 'School' as a proper noun. Suggestion: Always include the subject in present continuous sentences: 'I am working...'.

× Honestly I'm under a lot of pressure because I have a healthy workload but I still try to work life balance it.

✓ Honestly I'm under a lot of pressure because I have a heavy workload, but I still try to maintain a work-life balance.

Incorrect word choice and sentence structure: 'healthy workload' is incorrect collocation; 'heavy workload' is correct. 'Work life balance it' is ungrammatical—use the verb 'maintain' and hyphenate 'work-life'. Suggestion: Use common collocations and correct verb phrases: 'maintain a work-life balance'.

× I'm working at the American School, which is an International School for students from kindergarten until umm grade 12.

✓ I'm working at the American School, which is an international school for students from kindergarten until grade 12.

Capitalisation and preposition use: 'International School' should be lowercase unless part of the official name. 'Until grade 12' is acceptable but often 'through grade 12' is more natural. Suggestion: Use correct capitalization for common nouns and prefer 'through' for inclusive ranges: 'through grade 12'.

× I I have a chance to miss student kids every single day and working in educational field make me really happy and broaden my.

✓ I have a chance to meet students every single day, and working in the educational field makes me really happy and broadens my perspective.

Multiple sentence structure errors: 'I I' duplicated, 'miss student kids' is wrong verb and noun choice—use 'meet students'. Missing verb agreement: 'working... make' should be 'makes'. 'Broaden my' is incomplete—add object like 'perspective'. Suggestion: Remove duplication, choose correct verbs and complete the object.

× Yet it is because it's an International School, so everyone have to speak English.

✓ Yes, it is, because it's an international school, so everyone has to speak English.

Subject-verb agreement and word choice: 'Yet it is' is awkward—use 'Yes, it is'. 'Everyone have' is incorrect; 'everyone has' is correct. Also lowercase 'international school' unless official name. Suggestion: Ensure subject and verb agree: singular 'everyone' takes 'has'.

× Uh, they also have the library, uh, which is, has a lots of English book that I'm really into it.

✓ They also have a library that has a lot of English books that I'm really into.

Article and quantifier errors and redundancy: 'the library' vs 'a library' depends on context; 'has a lots of' is incorrect—use 'has a lot of' or 'has lots of'. 'Books' should be plural. Remove redundant 'it'. Suggestion: Use correct quantifiers and plural nouns: 'a lot of English books'.

× I also, uh, go visiting, uh, after at work to reading a book.

✓ I also go to the library after work to read a book.

Sentence structure and verb form: 'go visiting after at work to reading' is ungrammatical. Use 'go to the library after work' and the infinitive 'to read' for purpose. Suggestion: Use correct verb forms and preposition order: 'after work' and 'to read'.

× I love my workplace now because after, after working, we have, uh, lots of opportunities to, umm, to play sports like swimming, pickleball or, uh, running.

✓ I love my workplace because after working we have lots of opportunities to play sports like swimming, pickleball, or running.

Redundancy and punctuation: Remove repeated words and unnecessary fillers. Grammar is mostly correct but trim repetitions and add commas. Suggestion: Eliminate stuttering and keep concise phrasing: 'after working we have lots of opportunities to play sports'.

× Umm, so it's really work life balance for my life and.

✓ So it really supports my work-life balance.

Sentence fragment and awkward phrasing: 'it's really work life balance for my life and' is ungrammatical and redundant. Use a clear verb: 'supports my work-life balance'. Suggestion: Express the idea succinctly as a complete sentence.

× I will want to remote in, uh, manager position at that time so I can, umm, manage a small team, uh, to gain my latest, uh, my leadership skills and also, uh, broaden my knowledge in educational field.

✓ I would like to move into a managerial position in the future so I can manage a small team, develop my leadership skills, and broaden my knowledge in the educational field.

Future tense and word choice errors: 'I will want to remote in manager position' is incorrect. Use 'would like to move into a managerial position' or 'want to move into a management position'. 'Remote in' is wrong phrase. 'Gain my latest my leadership skills' is ungrammatical—use 'develop my leadership skills'. Also add article before 'educational field'. Suggestion: Use natural future expressions ('would like to', 'want to') and correct collocations: 'move into a managerial position', 'develop leadership skills', 'the educational field'.