Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, grammatically correct and more natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct verb forms and use one or two supporting details. For example, say you are a student and mention your level/course and main focus.

例: I'm a full-time university student. At the moment I'm studying computer science and focusing on building practical programming skills to prepare for a software engineering career.

提案: Answer directly and briefly, then add one specific detail. Fix grammar (use present simple: 'I don't work'). Avoid repeating previous points. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' properly.

例: I don't work at the moment because I'm a student. I'm currently studying business administration, so I spend most of my time on classes and internships to gain practical experience.

提案: Keep the answer short and relevant: acknowledge you have no work experience, then offer a brief related opinion or what you would look for in a good workplace. Use correct grammar and avoid filler words ('so so', 'and').

例: I don't have work experience yet, so I can't judge workplaces personally. However, I think a good workplace should offer clear career progression and supportive colleagues.

提案: Respond directly to the hypothetical question: if you were working, say whether you would like the place and why. If not applicable, state that and give a reasoned expectation. Avoid repetition and use single, complete sentences.

例: I don't currently work, but if I had a job I would want to like the workplace. I'd look for friendly coworkers and a role that allows me to learn and progress professionally.

提案: Give a clear, well-structured plan: state your goal, explain the steps you'll take and include a timeline or specific area. Use correct verb forms and avoid vague phrases like 'already decided for me'.

例: After I finish my degree, I plan to start a graduate role in marketing. Over the first two years I want to gain experience in digital campaigns and then move into a specialist position where I can manage projects and achieve measurable results.

× No, I'm not doing work.

✓ No, I'm not working.

The original uses 'doing work' which is unnatural; use the present continuous 'working' to describe current employment status. This fixes sentence structure and verb choice. Suggestion: Use 'I'm not working' or 'I don't work' depending on intended meaning.

× I I'm a student, so I'm totally focus on my study and build career.

✓ I'm a student, so I'm totally focused on my studies and building my career.

'I'm' duplicated and 'focus' should be past participle 'focused' after 'am' with present continuous sense; 'study' should be plural 'studies'; 'build' should be gerund 'building' to keep parallel structure. Use 'my' before 'career'. Suggestion: Maintain parallel verb forms and correct participles: 'I'm totally focused on my studies and building my career.'

× So that's my point.

✓ So that's my point.

This sentence is acceptable; no grammatical change needed. It is kept for completeness.

× I'm not doing work anywhere because I am a student so I focused on my study and build career and gain knowledge.

✓ I'm not working anywhere because I am a student, so I am focusing on my studies, building my career, and gaining knowledge.

'Doing work' is unnatural; use 'working'. Tense should be present continuous 'am focusing' and gerunds 'building' and 'gaining' for parallel actions. 'Study' should be plural 'studies'. Add commas for clarity. Suggestion: Keep verb forms consistent: 'I am focusing on my studies, building my career, and gaining knowledge.'

× Actually I'm not doing work anywhere so so I don't have any experience on work and I'm doing a study present time so and I'm focusing on my study and build career so I have no clue where is good work.

✓ Actually, I'm not working anywhere, so I don't have any work experience. I'm studying at the moment and focusing on my studies and building my career, so I have no idea what a good workplace is.

Multiple issues: 'doing work' -> 'working'; 'experience on work' -> 'work experience'; awkward phrasing 'doing a study present time' -> 'studying at the moment'; 'focusing on my study and build career' needs parallel gerunds 'focusing on my studies and building my career'; 'where is good work' should be 'what a good workplace is' or 'where a good workplace is', corrected to natural word order. Suggestion: Break into shorter sentences and use natural collocations: 'work experience', 'studying at the moment', 'workplace'.

× Yeah, actually, ma'am, I already told you I'm not doing work anywhere.

✓ Yes, actually ma'am, I have already told you I'm not working anywhere.

Use 'have already told' for present perfect to indicate a past action relevant now. Replace 'doing work' with 'working'. 'Yeah' -> 'Yes' more formal. Suggestion: Use present perfect for actions with present relevance: 'I have already told you.'

× I and I told you I am a student and I am focusing on my career and study, so I don't.

✓ I told you I am a student and I am focusing on my career and studies, so I don't (work).

Remove redundant 'I and I'; 'study' -> 'studies'; clarify the trailing 'so I don't' by adding '(work)' or completing the sentence. Parenthetical addition to show intended meaning. Suggestion: Avoid redundancy and finish ideas: 'so I don't work'.

× Yes, my future work plans already decided for me and when my study complete then I absolutely doing work and build career in my field and achieve goals and achieve targets.

✓ Yes, my future work plans are already decided for me, and when my studies are complete I will definitely work and build a career in my field and achieve my goals and targets.

Use passive 'are decided' for present state; 'study complete' -> 'studies are complete'; future intention requires 'will' + base verb: 'will work'; use 'definitely' instead of 'absolutely' for naturalness; 'achieve goals and achieve targets' is repetitive — combine and add possessive 'my'. Suggestion: Use correct tense forms and modal 'will' for future plans: 'When my studies are complete, I will work and build a career in my field and achieve my goals.'