Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details. Avoid awkward phrasing like "I'm quite fulfilling" and filler words (uh).

例: I'm a medical doctor and also a graduate student. This keeps me very busy; for example, I work mornings at the hospital and attend seminars in the evenings, but I find the work rewarding because I’m learning new skills every day.

提案: Give a direct, clear location statement and add one specific detail about the place. Use natural phrasing and correct word order (e.g., "western part of Kobe") and avoid repetition.

例: I work at a hospital in the western part of Kobe, which is just west of Osaka. Kobe is a beautiful, modern city with a pleasant waterfront and good public transport, so it’s easy to commute.

提案: Answer directly and politely with your own opinion, and avoid confusing or negative phrasing. If mentioning problems, be specific and use neutral language rather than vague hearsay like "they say."

例: I think the hospital has challenges but is still a meaningful place to work. For instance, we see many patients from low-income backgrounds, which can strain resources, but the staff are dedicated and the work is important.

提案: Provide a clear reason why you like the workplace, and correct the unclear sentence about "failed every day." Use linking words (because/so) and specific examples of satisfaction or challenges.

例: Yes, I like working there because the local community really needs our services. For example, treating patients who otherwise have limited access to care gives me a strong sense of purpose, even though it can be emotionally demanding at times.

提案: Give a clear plan with a short explanation of why and how. Be specific about the kind of research and how your experience will help. Keep it concise and natural.

例: I plan to work at a university doing medical research, focusing on community health issues. I hope to apply my clinical experience in western Kobe to study local health disparities and develop better primary-care interventions.

× I'm working as a medical doctor, but I'm also studying as a graduate student, which is pretty busy but I'm quite fulfilling every day.

✓ I work as a medical doctor, and I'm also a graduate student, which keeps me quite busy but makes me feel fulfilled every day.

The original mixes progressive and stative verbs awkwardly. 'I'm working' suggests temporary action; for occupations 'I work' or 'I'm a medical doctor' is more natural (present simple). 'Studying as a graduate student' is better as 'I'm also a graduate student'. 'I'm quite fulfilling' is incorrect because 'fulfilling' describes something that causes fulfillment; the speaker should say 'makes me feel fulfilled' or 'I feel fulfilled'. Use consistent present tense forms and correct adjective use.

× I work at a hospital which is located in western area of Kobe. Kobe is West of Osaka city. It's beautiful urban city.

✓ I work at a hospital located in the western area of Kobe. Kobe is west of Osaka city. It's a beautiful, urban city.

Missing articles and incorrect preposition use: say 'the western area' rather than 'western area'. 'West' should be lowercase as a direction: 'west of Osaka city'. Also need the article 'a' before 'beautiful, urban city'. Add commas between coordinate adjectives 'beautiful, urban'.

× Actually, they say my hospital is isn't a good place to work because there are a lot of people, uh, who are in low socioeconomic status.

✓ Actually, people say my hospital isn't a good place to work because there are a lot of people who are of low socioeconomic status.

Confusing pronoun 'they say' can be kept but 'my hospital is isn't' has a contraction error (double negative). Remove extra 'is'. 'Who are in low socioeconomic status' is unnatural; use 'who are of low socioeconomic status'. Also removing filler 'uh' improves clarity.

× Yes, absolutely. People around there absolutely need our medical care. So I'm who failed every day so much.

✓ Yes, absolutely. People in that area really need our medical care. So I feel like I fail every day so much.

'People around there' is informal; 'people in that area' is better. 'So I'm who failed' is ungrammatical: the intended meaning is likely 'I feel like I fail every day' or 'I feel defeated every day'. Use the appropriate pronoun and verb structure 'I feel like I fail' to express the speaker's emotion. 'So much' can follow for emphasis but position it after the verb phrase.

× I'd like to work at the university conducting medical research every day. I want to utilize my experience in the West of Kobe.

✓ I'd like to work at a university conducting medical research. I want to use my experience from western Kobe.

'At the university' can imply a specific university; use 'at a university' unless a particular one is meant. 'Conducting medical research every day' is redundant; conducting research (present simple) suffices. 'Utilize' is formal; 'use' is more natural. 'In the West of Kobe' is better phrased 'from western Kobe' or 'in western Kobe'. Be consistent with article use and natural phrasing.