Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one brief supporting detail. Avoid repetition and subject-verb errors. Use linking words (for example, 'and' or 'also') to connect ideas.

例: I am both a student and a part-time worker. I am currently taking IELTS classes and working part-time to gain experience and save money for my future.

提案: Begin with a direct topic sentence stating your job and workplace. Then give specific, relevant details about your tasks using linking words (for example, 'I make… and I also…'). Reduce filler words and hesitations.

例: I work as a barista at a small café near my university. I make latte art and prepare iced americanos, which are especially popular in the summer, so I often focus on those drinks when it's hot.

提案: Answer directly, then support with two specific reasons. Use correct adjectives and avoid repetition (e.g., 'peaceful' instead of 'peace'). Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas.

例: Yes, it's a very good place to work. I have worked there for two years, and it's peaceful and safe, with a cozy atmosphere that customers appreciate, so they often relax while enjoying their drinks.

提案: Give a clear opinion followed by specific reasons. Use correct expressions ('peaceful' and 'quiet') and avoid repetition. Mention a future intention briefly with a linking word such as 'also' or 'in the future'.

例: Yes, I really like working there because it is peaceful and quiet with little traffic noise. I also get along well with the manager, so I would like to continue working there in the future.

提案: State your plan clearly with correct grammar, then give specific goals and a reason. Use linking words like 'because' and avoid vague or repetitive phrases. Mention concrete steps or a timeline if possible.

例: I plan to advance to head barista because I enjoy creating different kinds of coffee and latte art. To reach this goal, I will practice new techniques, take advanced barista courses, and gain more experience serving customers over the next two years.

× Currently I'm both I'm doing my part time work and also I'm a student.

✓ Currently I'm both a part-time worker and a student.

The original sentence repeats subjects and uses awkward noun forms. This is a present tense description, so use correct noun form 'a part-time worker' and avoid repeating 'I'm'. Improve clarity by combining roles in one clause. Suggestion: Say 'I'm currently both a part-time worker and a student.'

× I'm currently I'm studying my IELTS class.

✓ I'm currently studying in an IELTS class.

The sentence repeats 'I'm' and uses incorrect preposition. Use present continuous 'I'm studying' and the correct preposition 'in' for 'class'. Suggestion: 'I'm currently studying in an IELTS class.'

× At the moment I also are doing my jobs working working for my futures.

✓ At the moment I am also doing part-time jobs to work toward my future.

The subject 'I' requires the verb form 'am', not 'are'. 'Jobs working working' is repetitive and 'futures' should be singular 'future'. Rephrase for clarity. Suggestion: 'At the moment I am also doing part-time jobs to work toward my future.'

× Uh, currently I'm working in as a barista.

✓ Uh, currently I'm working as a barista.

The preposition 'in' is unnecessary before 'as a barista'. The correct phrase is 'working as a barista'. Suggestion: 'I'm currently working as a barista.'

× I make different kinds of latte arts.

✓ I make different kinds of latte art.

'Latte art' is an uncountable noun phrase; 'arts' is incorrect. Use 'latte art' to refer to designs in coffee. Suggestion: 'I make different kinds of latte art.'

× Also, I love to make, uh, ice americano like, uh, serving to the customers.

✓ Also, I love to make iced Americanos and serve them to customers.

Use correct adjective 'iced' for the drink and parallel verb forms: 'make' and 'serve'. 'Serve to the customers' is better as 'serve them to customers'. Suggestion: 'I love to make iced Americanos and serve them to customers.'

× Uh, it's now it's summer season, so I love to sell mainly kind of ice americano that can get, uh, sold by customers.

✓ It's summer now, so I mainly sell iced Americanos because customers buy them often.

The original repeats 'it's' and uses awkward structure. Simplify to present simple for habitual action: 'I mainly sell iced Americanos because customers buy them often.' Use 'iced Americanos' plural and clearer phrasing. Suggestion: 'It's summer now, so I mainly sell iced Americanos because customers buy them often.'

× Ah, yes, definitely it is safest place ever.

✓ Ah, yes, it's definitely the safest place ever.

Missing definite article 'the' before superlative 'safest' and word order issue. Contracting 'it is' to 'it's' improves naturalness. Suggestion: 'It's definitely the safest place ever.'

× I have been working there for, since, uh, two years.

✓ I have been working there for two years.

Use either 'for' with a duration ('for two years') or 'since' with a point in time ('since 2024'). Mixing them is incorrect. Suggestion: 'I have been working there for two years.'

× For me, it's very safe and peace place and many customers love to come here because like it's a cozy and peace place where no one disturbs each other and just their drinks and go for their work.

✓ For me, it's a very safe and peaceful place, and many customers love to come here because it's cozy and quiet; people can enjoy their drinks and then go to work.

'Peace place' is incorrect; use 'peaceful place' or 'quiet place'. Sentence needs punctuation and clearer structure. 'No one disturbs each other' is ungrammatical; use 'people do not disturb each other' or 'it's quiet'. Also fix verb phrases 'just their drinks and go for their work' to 'enjoy their drinks and then go to work.' Suggestion: 'It's a very safe and peaceful place; customers like it because it's cozy and quiet, so people can enjoy their drinks and then go to work.'

× Well, I definitely love the place I'm working now because it's like peace and no sound of the vehicles.

✓ Well, I definitely love the place I work now because it's peaceful and there is no noise from vehicles.

Use 'the place I work' instead of 'the place I'm working now' for habitual work; 'peace' should be adjective 'peaceful' and 'no sound of the vehicles' should be 'no noise from vehicles'. Suggestion: 'I definitely love the place I work because it's peaceful and there is no noise from vehicles.'

× And in the future I would definitely love to come here and again work on here, the manager and the manager here is very good.

✓ In the future I would definitely love to come back and work here again; the manager is very good.

Awkward phrasing 'come here and again work on here' should be 'come back and work here again'. Remove repetition 'the manager and the manager here'. Use present simple 'the manager is very good' to describe a general fact. Suggestion: 'In the future I would like to come back and work here again; the manager is very good.'

× My future plans is definitely as a barista safe ahead.

✓ My future plans are definitely to continue as a barista.

Subject 'plans' is plural and requires plural verb 'are'. 'as a barista safe ahead' is unclear; rephrase to 'to continue as a barista' or 'to become head barista'. Suggestion: 'My future plans are to continue as a barista.'

× Umm, I wanna be like barista head because I love to make all different kinds of coffee that they are.

✓ I want to be a head barista because I love making all different kinds of coffee.

Use formal 'I want' instead of 'wanna'. 'Barista head' should be 'head barista'. Use gerund 'making' after 'love'. Remove unnecessary clause 'that they are'. Suggestion: 'I want to be a head barista because I love making different kinds of coffee.'

× In the future, I would definitely love to make a coffee different kinds of coffee Arts and sort to the customers is my dream and my future plans.

✓ In the future, I would definitely love to create different kinds of coffee art and serve them to customers; that is my dream and my plan.

The original is ungrammatical and jumbled. 'Make a coffee different kinds of coffee Arts and sort to the customers' is incorrect. Use 'create different kinds of coffee art and serve them to customers' and connect ideas with a clear clause. Suggestion: 'I would like to create different kinds of coffee art and serve them to customers; that is my dream and plan.'