Advertisement— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: 문장이 전반적으로 이해되지만 몇 가지 발화 습관(예: 'uh', 중복 표현)과 문법 오류(예: 'a color for graphics', 'captivated it')가 점수를 제한합니다. 답변 구조는 있되 연결어 사용이 부족하고 세부 묘사가 더 자연스럽고 구체적일 수 있습니다. 개선 포인트: 불필요한 감탄사 줄이기, 문법적 오류 수정, 한두 개의 연결어(therefore, as a result)로 흐름을 매끄럽게 하고 구체적 묘사(광고의 장면, 음악, 색감 등)를 추가하세요. 답변 길이는 최대 5문장으로 유지하세요.

Ejemplo: Yes. I remember a Nintendo advertisement from my childhood that really stuck with me. It showed bright, colorful graphics and fast-paced gameplay, which made the games look exciting. As a result, I begged my parents for the console and they finally bought it, so I played it every day after school.

Sugerencia: 의미는 전달되지만 문장 구성과 어휘 선택에서 어색함과 반복이 보입니다('a quite, quite a lot', 'bone, bone problems'). 끝 문장이 미완성으로 들립니다. 개선 포인트: 반복 제거, 명확한 카테고리 나열, 이유 설명 시 연결어 사용(for example, because)과 완전한 문장으로 마무리하세요. 또한 단어 선택을 정확히 하세요('subway' 대신 'the subway' 등).

Ejemplo: Yes, I see a lot of advertisements on buses and the subway. Many of them promote medical services, such as plastic surgery, orthopedic treatments and diabetes care. I think this is because transport hubs reach many people from different age groups, so medical clinics use them to attract patients.

Sugerencia: 좋은 의견 제시지만 문법(단수/복수, 어형)과 자연스러운 표현이 필요합니다('Advertisement'→'Advertisements', 'make me easier'→'make it easier for me'). 또한 근거를 더 구체적으로 제시하면 좋습니다(구체적 사례나 경험). 연결어('for example','overall')는 잘 사용되었으니 유지하세요.

Ejemplo: Yes, I do. Advertisements help me discover new products, such as a popular skincare brand or a unique snack. They also make it easier for me to decide what to buy by showing features and reviews, so overall they introduce me to new experiences.

Sugerencia: 전반적으로 매우 명확하고 구체적인 이유를 제시했습니다. 개선할 점은 불필요한 'Umm' 제거와 문법 수정을 통해 표현을 다듬는 것입니다('ads for skin care'→'skincare ads', 'advertisement that highlight'→'advertisements that highlight', 'before and after result'→'before-and-after results'). 연결어와 구체적 예시(특정 성분 이름 등)를 추가하면 더 좋습니다.

Ejemplo: I like skincare and makeup advertisements because I'm currently concerned about acne and want products that actually work. For example, I prefer ads that highlight key ingredients like salicylic acid and show clear before-and-after results.

Sugerencia: 의견은 명확하지만 비격식적 감탄사('Umm','Yeah')와 어색한 표현('more especially', 'see advertisement')을 개선해야 합니다. 문장을 더 정확하고 자연스럽게 연결하고, 구체적인 예시(동영상 광고, sponsored posts)와 이유(algorithm, targeted ads)를 덧붙이면 점수가 올라갑니다.

Ejemplo: Absolutely. I often see ads on YouTube and Instagram, especially short video ads and sponsored posts. Many celebrities promote clothes, cosmetics and medical treatments, because social media algorithms target users based on their interests.

× It was uh, very intriguing advertisement because it showed a color for graphics and engaging gameplays.

✓ It was, uh, a very intriguing advertisement because it showed colorful graphics and engaging gameplay.

'Advertisement' requires an article 'a' (singular noun) and 'color for graphics' is incorrect collocation; use 'colorful graphics'. 'Gameplays' is usually uncountable or singular as 'gameplay'. Use 'a' before 'very intriguing advertisement' and choose correct noun forms. Suggestion: Add appropriate article before singular countable nouns and prefer uncountable form 'gameplay' or plural 'games' when appropriate.

× So I was very captivated it.

✓ So I was very captivated by it.

The verb 'captivate' requires the preposition 'by' when used in passive or 'be captivated by something'. The original lacks 'by'. Suggestion: Use 'captivated by' to indicate the agent causing captivation.

× So my parents ended up buying it for me and I played it all the time.

✓ So my parents ended up buying it for me, and I played it all the time.

This sentence is mainly fine grammatically; added comma improves readability. No plural/singular correction needed beyond punctuation. Suggestion: Use a comma before conjunctions joining independent clauses.

× Yeah, I see a quite, quite a lot of advertisement on buses or subway, Yes, most of them are for hospitals advertising treatments or effects for plastic surgery, bone, bone problems or diabetes.

✓ Yeah, I see quite a lot of advertisements on buses or the subway. Yes, most of them are for hospitals advertising treatments or cures for plastic surgery, bone problems, or diabetes.

Use 'quite a lot of' without extra 'a' before 'quite'; 'advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' when talking generally; 'subway' needs 'the' for a general system; list items need consistent forms ('bone problems'). 'Effects' is wrong collocation; use 'treatments' or 'cures'. Suggestion: Ensure quantifier placement ('quite a lot of'), pluralize general nouns, and use correct articles with transport systems.

× I think it's probably because those services.

✓ I think it's probably because of those services.

The original ends with a noun phrase without the required preposition 'because of' to link the cause. 'Because' requires a clause; 'because of' takes a noun phrase. Suggestion: Use 'because of' before noun phrases to express cause.

× Advertisement help me discover new products, for example new cosmetics or foods, and they make me easier to decide what to buy.

✓ Advertisements help me discover new products, for example new cosmetics or foods, and they make it easier for me to decide what to buy.

'Advertisement' should be plural 'Advertisements' when speaking generally. 'Make me easier' is incorrect; use 'make it easier for me' to express that something helps someone perform an action. Suggestion: Use plural for general statements and the 'make it easier for someone to do something' structure.

× Overall, they broaden my horizons and introduce me to new experiences.

✓ Overall, they broaden my horizons and introduce me to new experiences.

Sentence is correct; 'they' correctly refers to 'advertisements'. No change needed. Suggestion: Maintain clear antecedents for pronouns.

× Umm, I'm really interested in ads for skin care and makeup products because nowadays I'm concerned with some skin problems like acne and I want something that actually works.

✓ Umm, I'm really interested in ads for skin care and makeup products because nowadays I'm concerned about some skin problems like acne, and I want something that actually works.

Use 'concerned about' rather than 'concerned with' for personal worries. Added comma before conjunction for clarity. Suggestion: Use correct preposition with 'concerned' and punctuate compound sentences.

× For example, I like advertisement that highlight key ingredients and show before and after result.

✓ For example, I like advertisements that highlight key ingredients and show before-and-after results.

'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' when generalizing; verb must agree: 'that highlight' is correct with plural; 'before and after result' should be plural 'before-and-after results' and hyphenate the compound modifier. Suggestion: Match noun plurality with relative verb and use plural form for 'results'.

× Absolutely. Umm, more especially, I always see advertisement in YouTube and Instagram.

✓ Absolutely. Umm, especially, I always see advertisements on YouTube and Instagram.

'More especially' is awkward; 'especially' suffices. 'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements'. Use 'on' with platforms like YouTube and Instagram. Suggestion: Use 'especially' and the preposition 'on' for online platforms; pluralize general nouns.

× There are many celebrities advertising nowadays, something like clothes, cosmetics and medical treatments.

✓ There are many celebrities advertising nowadays, promoting things like clothes, cosmetics, and medical treatments.

Original 'something like' is awkward; use 'promoting things like' for clarity and parallel list. Commas added for list. Suggestion: Use clear verbs such as 'promoting' to connect celebrities to the items they endorse and keep list items parallel.