Science— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Cevap kısa ve düzensiz; sözdizimi ve kelime seçimi hatalı. Daha açık bir konu cümlesi kullanın, fazladan bilgiyi mantıklı bağlaçlarla düzenleyin ve gereksiz tekrarları çıkarın. Örneğin: tercih sebeplerinizi ve nasıl öğrendiğinizi belirtin, ‘because’, ‘so’ gibi bağlaçlarla neden-sonuç ilişkisi kurun.

Ejemplo: Yes, I enjoy science, especially watching educational YouTube channels. I like them because they show creative experiments and explain ideas clearly, so I can try simple activities at home and better understand what I read.

Sugerencia: Cümle yapıları karışık ve anlam belirsiz. Doğru zaman ifadeleri ve net sebep açıklamaları kullanın. Kısa, doğrudan bir konu cümlesiyle başlayın, ardından ‘because’ veya ‘when’ ile açıklama ekleyin.

Ejemplo: I began to take an interest in science around the age of thirteen because I wanted to be careful and organized in my future career. From that age I started reading books and watching videos to learn more.

Sugerencia: İfade belirsiz ve bazı dilbilgisi hataları var. ‘Biology’ neden ilginizi çektiğini açıkça belirtin ve detay verin (örnek, merak ettiğiniz konu). Bağlaçlarla cümleleri düzgün bağlayın.

Ejemplo: I find biology very interesting because I am curious about how living things work. For example, I wonder how our bodies process food and how ecosystems are connected, so I enjoy reading articles and watching documentaries on these topics.

Sugerencia: Cevap anlaşılması güç ve gerçekçi değil; örnekler net değil. Yapılan etkinliği basit ve gerçekçi şekilde açıklayın, hangi deneyleri ya da projeleri yaptığınızı ve ne öğrendiğinizi belirtin. Bağlaçlarla mantıklı akış sağlayın.

Ejemplo: I have tried simple experiments at home, such as building a small model of the solar system and doing a brain-teaser project to learn how attention works. These activities helped me understand scientific ideas more clearly.

Sugerencia: Cümle uzun ve karışık; ‘which he tells us’ gibi belirsiz zamirlerden kaçının. Net bir konu cümlesi kurun, neden sevdiğinizi ve hangi tür programları izlediğinizi belirtin, kısa destekleyici cümleler kullanın.

Ejemplo: Yes, I enjoy watching science programs on YouTube because they explain complex topics like human evolution in a simple way. I follow channels that use animations and real examples, which makes learning enjoyable and easy to remember.

Sugerencia: Cevap kişisel deneyime dayanıyor ancak genelleme zayıf ve ifadeler tekrarlı. Gözleminizi net bir şekilde ifade edin ve genel bir sonuca bağlarken ‘often’ gibi sıklık zarflarını örneklerle destekleyin.

Ejemplo: Yes, I think many Chinese people visit science museums. For example, when I visited a science museum, I noticed many Chinese families and school groups there, which suggested that museums are popular among visitors.

× Yes, I like especially I stretch science videos on YouTube from every and he gives us very creative information that I can practice in my everyday to illustrate I read about. Co R.

✓ Yes, I especially like watching science videos on YouTube because they give very creative information that I can practice in my everyday life.

The original sentence has multiple sentence structure and word order errors; this fits 'Sentence structure errors'. Make the verb phrase 'especially like watching' and use 'because' to show reason. Replace 'from every and he gives us' with 'because they give' to refer to videos. Use 'everyday life' as the correct noun phrase. Suggestions: keep subject-verb-object order, use gerund 'watching' after 'like', and use plural pronoun 'they' to refer to 'videos'.

× I started to learn at my 13 age, which started some from my dreams about being meticulous in my future life.

✓ I started to learn at the age of 13, which came partly from my dreams about being meticulous in my future life.

The original misuses 'my 13 age' and 'started some from'. Use 'at the age of 13' and past tense 'came' to describe origin. This is a past-tense narration; use 'started' and 'came' consistently. Suggestion: use natural expression 'at the age of 13' and 'partly' instead of 'some'.

× Of course I didn't rotate to real think.

✓ Of course I didn't turn that into real practice.

The phrase 'rotate to real think' is ungrammatical. It appears to mean 'turn into real practice' or 'put into practice'. Use 'turn that into real practice' for clarity. Suggestion: choose verbs with correct collocations like 'turn into' and nouns like 'practice'.

× Biology is so vital for me since when I sit down at my classroom while I get bored from my lesson, I started to think about how my food creates by God and I really curious about it.

✓ Biology is very important to me because when I sit in my classroom and get bored with a lesson, I start to think about how my food was created by God and I am really curious about it.

Mix of present and past tenses and incorrect prepositions. Use 'sit in my classroom', 'get bored with a lesson', and present simple 'I start' for habitual actions. For the origin of food, passive past 'was created' or present perfect could work; here 'was created' is clearer. Also use 'curious about' with 'am'. Suggestions: keep consistent tense for habitual actions and use correct prepositions ('in' for classroom, 'with' for bored).

× I created stars lights from human brain functions, so when you. Get bored from your brain. You can rotate your brain to starts.

✓ I made star-like lights inspired by human brain functions, so when you get mentally bored you can stimulate your brain to be active.

Original has fragmented sentences, incorrect noun phrases ('stars lights') and verb choices ('rotate your brain to starts'). Rephrase to convey intended meaning: 'star-like lights' or 'star lights' and use 'inspired by' rather than 'from'. Combine fragments into one sentence. Suggestion: avoid short fragments and choose clear verbs like 'stimulate' or 'activate'.

× Yes, I especially tracked every major on YouTube, which he tells us about scientific, informative, creative things, about human evolution, where we began things and I can reach these informative things.

✓ Yes, I especially follow many channels on YouTube where the presenters talk about scientific, informative, and creative topics such as human evolution, and I can access this information there.

Problems include wrong verb 'tracked', unclear relative clause and pronoun 'he', and awkward repetition. Use present habitual 'follow', plural 'channels', and 'presenters' if referring to people. Use 'topics' and 'information' rather than repeating 'things'. Suggestions: use clear nouns and avoid vague 'things', maintain subject-verb agreement and correct relative clauses.

× Yes, because when I visited the Science Museum, I had an conversation with the Chinese people and a lot of numerous amount of Chinese people I can say we are being in touch with.

✓ Yes, because when I visited the science museum, I had a conversation with some Chinese people, and many Chinese people I can say I was in touch with them.

Errors include article use 'an conversation' should be 'a conversation', redundant words 'a lot of numerous amount', and awkward pronoun use. Use 'some Chinese people' and 'many Chinese people' or simply 'many people'. 'I was in touch with them' is clearer than present progressive 'we are being in touch with'. Suggestions: use correct articles ('a conversation'), avoid redundant quantifiers, and use proper pronouns and tense consistency.