Bike— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and grammatically accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Correct tense and age phrasing (e.g., “when I was nine”). Use a linking word to connect ideas and avoid redundancy.

Ejemplo: Yes — I had a bike as a child. It was a birthday gift from my parents when I was nine, and I remember being very surprised and excited. Because of that day, riding my bike became one of my favorite hobbies.

Sugerencia: Give a direct opinion first, then support it with specific reasons and an example. Use clearer phrasing and linking words (however, because, for example). Avoid repeating phrases like “I would say” and be careful with word order and articles (e.g., “in mainland China” or “in my hometown, Shanghai”).

Ejemplo: Yes, bikes are very popular in mainland China, especially in cities like Shanghai. For example, many people use bikes for short trips because they are cheap and eco-friendly. Therefore, I often recommend cycling for short errands since it is convenient and reduces pollution.

× And that was a birthday gift from my parents when I was 9 to 10 year old.

✓ And that was a birthday gift from my parents when I was 9 or 10 years old.

The age expression uses plural 'years' and should use 'or' to indicate an approximate age range. Use 'years old' after a number. Also '9 to 10 year old' is incorrect structure; use '9 or 10 years old' for clarity. Suggestion: Say 'when I was 9 or 10 years old' or 'when I was about 9 or 10.'

× I was so surprised at that time.

✓ I was so surprised then.

'At that time' is grammatically correct but wordy; 'then' is more natural in this context. This is a sentence structure/style improvement to fit spoken English. Keep past tense 'was' to match timing. Suggestion: Use 'then' for spoken fluency: 'I was so surprised then.'

× So the memory is unforgettable.

✓ So the memory is unforgettable for me.

The original uses present tense 'is' which can be acceptable, but adding 'for me' clarifies the subject's perspective. Alternatively, use past tense 'remains unforgettable' to emphasize lasting effect. This fixes clarity and naturalness. Suggestion: Say 'So the memory remains unforgettable for me.'

× Definitely I will say yes and it is a common way to go out for travel and a short journey in my hometown China mainland Shanghai.

✓ Definitely I would say yes; it is a common way to travel short distances in my hometown, mainland Shanghai, China.

Verb tense/modal: 'will' is unnatural here; 'would' fits polite opinion. Phrase 'go out for travel and a short journey' is awkward; use 'travel short distances' or 'for short journeys.' Also word order and punctuation: place 'mainland Shanghai, China' at end with commas. This addresses tense and sentence structure. Suggestion: 'Definitely I would say yes. It is a common way to travel short distances in my hometown, mainland Shanghai, China.'

× And I would say that I suggest people go out more with bike as it is such an eco friendly and convenient vehicle.

✓ I would suggest that people go out more by bike because it is such an eco-friendly and convenient vehicle.

Redundant 'would say that I suggest' should be simplified to 'I would suggest' or 'I suggest.' Preposition 'with bike' is incorrect; use 'by bike.' 'Eco friendly' should be hyphenated as 'eco-friendly.' This corrects modal verb phrasing, preposition use, and adjective form. Suggestion: 'I would suggest that people go out more by bike because it is an eco-friendly and convenient mode of transport.'