Study— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence stating your current status, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words (uh, umm) and correct phrase order and prepositions (e.g., 'graduated from' and 'a job').

Ejemplo: I recently graduated in architecture from Puerto Rico, and I am currently looking for job opportunities. While I search, I am improving my design and software skills by taking online courses in CAD and architectural visualization.

Sugerencia: Begin with a clear topic sentence naming the university and city, then add one specific positive detail about your experience. Remove hesitations and avoid repeating obvious facts (e.g., 'capital of Iran').

Ejemplo: I studied at Islamic Azad University in Tehran, which is the capital of Iran. I had a positive experience there because the faculty helped me develop strong technical skills in architectural design.

Sugerencia: State your opinion directly, then support it with specific reasons and one comparison. Avoid contradictions without clarification and remove fillers. Use linking words like 'however' or 'although' to show contrast.

Ejemplo: Although many universities in Iran focus more on theory than practice, my university was among the better ones because it offered useful workshops. However, I would like to study abroad to gain more practical experience and exposure to international architectural standards.

Sugerencia: Answer directly, then give two specific changes with brief explanations. Use linking words ('for example', 'also') and correct grammar (e.g., 'there were a few things', 'practical education was poor'). Avoid repetition and fillers.

Ejemplo: Yes. For example, the campus location was inconvenient because it was far from public transport, so students spent a long time commuting. Also, the practical training was limited, so I would improve workshop opportunities and hands-on projects.

Sugerencia: Start with a clear statement of your plan, then give two specific goals (skills to improve, subjects to study) and a reason. Correct phrasing ('apply abroad', 'other than my current one') and avoid vague words like 'different information'.

Ejemplo: I plan to apply to universities abroad to continue my architecture studies. I hope to improve my technical skills in sustainable design and gain exposure to international practices, which will broaden my knowledge and career opportunities.

× I graduated Puerto Rico from architecture this year, so right now I'm looking for a job opportunities, uh, while improving my skills in architecture.

✓ I graduated in Architecture from the University of Puerto Rico this year, so right now I'm looking for job opportunities while improving my architectural skills.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and missing prepositions: 'graduated Puerto Rico from architecture' should be 'graduated in Architecture from the University of Puerto Rico' (graduated in + course, from + institution). 'a job opportunities' mixes singular article with plural noun; use 'job opportunities' or 'a job opportunity'. Also remove filler words and redundant phrases for clarity and correct noun form: 'skills in architecture' -> 'architectural skills' or 'skills in architecture' is acceptable but 'architectural skills' is more natural.

× So uh, I don't actually have a umm job, but if I have one I would really appreciate it.

✓ So, I don't actually have a job, but if I had one I would really appreciate it.

The conditional sentence requires the past form 'had' after 'if' for a hypothetical present situation (second conditional). 'If I have one' suggests a real future possibility, but the rest of the clause 'I would really appreciate it' signals a hypothetical. Use 'If I had one' to match the conditional structure.

× I study in Tehran city in Iran, uh, it is capital of Iran country.

✓ I study in Tehran, the capital city of Iran.

Incorrect articles and word order: use 'the capital' (definite article required) and 'city' follows 'capital' or 'capital city'. 'Iran country' is redundant and incorrect; say 'of Iran'. Also omit 'city in' redundancy: 'Tehran, the capital city of Iran' is natural.

× And also I study in uh, uh, Islamic Azad University.

✓ I also study at Islamic Azad University.

Preposition use with institutions is 'study at' rather than 'study in'. Also place 'also' earlier for natural word order. Remove filler words.

× It was, no, it was good and I learned a lot from that university.

✓ It was good, and I learned a lot at that university.

Use 'learned a lot at that university' for natural preposition. The repetition 'It was, no, it was' is disfluent; simplify to 'It was good'. The tense 'learned' is correct (past) because referring to past experience.

× Universities in Iran aren't very good and practical and educational skills, but, uh, my university was one of the best of, uh, Iran universities, but uh, I would like to, uh, study somewhere else rather than, uh, mine because I think that, uh, I would learn much better somewhere else.

✓ Universities in Iran are not very practical in terms of developing practical and educational skills, but my university was one of the best in Iran. However, I would like to study somewhere else because I think I would learn much better elsewhere.

Original sentence has poor structure, repetition, and incorrect phrasing ('aren't very good and practical and educational skills' is ungrammatical). Clarify meaning: 'not very practical in terms of developing practical and educational skills'. Use 'one of the best in Iran' (correct preposition and order). Combine ideas into clearer sentences and remove filler 'uh'.

× Yes, there were few things that I wanted to change about there.

✓ Yes, there were a few things that I wanted to change about it/there.

Missing article 'a few' versus 'few' changes meaning; use 'a few things' to indicate some things. Also 'change about there' is awkward—use 'change about it' or 'change there'. Use consistent reference: 'about it' (the university) or 'there' (the place).

× For example, uh, the location, it was very bad because it was at the top of the mountain and it took us a long time to get to our classes.

✓ For example, the location was very bad because the campus was at the top of a mountain, so it took us a long time to get to our classes.

Avoid comma splice 'the location, it was'; use single clause 'the location was'. Use 'at the top of a mountain' with article 'a'. Clarify 'campus' instead of repeating 'it'. Connect cause and effect with 'so'.

× Uh, and another thing is was, uh, the practical education that it was very bad and we didn't learn much about there.

✓ Another problem was the practical training: it was very poor, and we didn't learn much there.

Original has tense and structure problems ('is was') and awkward phrasing 'learn much about there'. Use 'practical training' or 'practical education', 'was very poor', and 'we didn't learn much there'. Remove filler words.

× I'm looking for applying abroad and I want to improve my skills and also gain knowledge in the universities except my current 1, so I think it is a very good way to learn about different information.

✓ I'm looking to apply abroad, and I want to improve my skills and gain knowledge at universities other than my current one, so I think it is a very good way to learn different things.

Use correct verb pattern: 'looking to apply' or 'looking for a place to apply' (not 'looking for applying'). Use 'at universities' rather than 'in the universities except my current 1'—replace with 'other than my current one'. 'Learn about different information' is awkward; use 'learn different things' or 'gain diverse knowledge'. Also use 'one' instead of numeral '1'.