Study— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Make the answer more natural, concise and better structured. Start with a clear topic sentence (I am a university student), then give one or two specific details about your course and career goal. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

Ejemplo: I am a university student studying Media Design because I'm interested in motion graphics and 3D animation. After I graduate, I hope to work in the animation industry creating visual effects for films or games.

Sugerencia: Provide a clear topic sentence naming the university and then give one or two specific, relevant details. Remove unclear words and repetitions; use linking words to connect ideas (for example, because, so).

Ejemplo: I study at a university in Busan. I enjoy it because the campus is attractive and has many cafés and green spaces, so I often relax there after class.

Sugerencia: Give a concise topic sentence and support it with specific examples of facilities and how they help your studies. Avoid vague phrases and correct grammar (e.g., 'study spaces' instead of 'take up place').

Ejemplo: Yes, it's a great place to study because the campus has modern buildings and excellent facilities, such as a large library and quiet study rooms, which make it easy to focus on coursework.

Sugerencia: Start with a clear direct answer and then give specific, realistic changes and reasons why they would help. Use linking words (for example, for instance, because) and correct collocations (e.g., "a more comfortable atmosphere").

Ejemplo: Yes, I would. For example, I would like quieter study areas and more comfortable seating because a calmer environment would help me concentrate and study for longer periods.

Sugerencia: Be specific and concise: state your immediate plan and the reason. Avoid unclear abbreviations and give one or two concrete goals or benefits of studying abroad.

Ejemplo: I will graduate next year and plan to apply for a master's program in Canada in video or media design. I want to deepen my technical skills and gain international experience to prepare for a career in animation.

× I'm a country student, then I'm studying at media design at university because I'm interested in media design in Burbank, motion graphics and three DB 3D animations.

✓ I'm a student from the countryside, and I'm studying media design at university because I'm interested in media design, motion graphics, and 3D animation.

Incorrect pronoun/phrase 'country student' is not natural; sentence also has awkward connectors. Use 'a student from the countryside' and join clauses with 'and'. Use commas to separate items and correct 'three DB 3D animations' to '3D animation'. Improve word order and clarity. Suggestion: Replace awkward noun phrases with natural ones and list items clearly.

× So yeah, then after I graduate I would like to work in a field animation field.

✓ So yeah, after I graduate I would like to work in the field of animation.

Redundant and incorrect word order 'work in a field animation field'. Use the present/future intention structure 'would like to' plus noun phrase 'the field of animation'. Remove duplication. Suggestion: Use 'work in the field of X' for profession areas.

× I'm studying at university in Busan and I love my university because my campus has a lot of culinary and attractive scenery, so after class I often CR often work around UH to take a rest.

✓ I'm studying at a university in Busan and I love it because the campus has a lot of culinary options and attractive scenery, so after class I often walk around to relax.

Pronoun and article use ('at university' vs 'a university') and awkward phrases ('a lot of culinary') are incorrect. 'CR often' and 'UH' appear to be transcription errors; replace with 'often walk around to relax'. Maintain present continuous/habitual tense correctly. Suggestion: Use 'a university' when unspecified, and use clear verbs like 'walk around' and 'relax'.

× Yes, I think my campus is a great place to study because my campus has many modern buildings including outstanding facilities like libraries or study rooms and there are so many take up place.

✓ Yes, I think my campus is a great place to study because it has many modern buildings and excellent facilities like libraries and study rooms, and there are many places to hang out.

Awkward adjective/adverb usage and wrong phrase 'take up place'. Replace 'outstanding' with 'excellent' and 'or' with 'and' when listing. 'Take up place' is incorrect; intended meaning is 'places to hang out'. Suggestion: Use natural collocations like 'places to hang out' and 'excellent facilities'.

× Yes, I would like the place where I study to be improved. I want the more comfortable atmosphere, for example better city and quieter study areas because those changes would help me concentrate and study for longer periods.

✓ Yes, I would like the place where I study to be improved. I want a more comfortable atmosphere, for example a better city environment and quieter study areas, because those changes would help me concentrate and study for longer periods.

Incorrect use of definite article 'the more comfortable atmosphere' should be 'a more comfortable atmosphere'. 'Better city' is vague; use 'a better city environment'. Articles needed before singular countable nouns. Suggestion: Use 'a' for one of many possible improvements and be specific about nouns.

× I will graduate next year and I would like to go to Graduate School in Canada.

✓ I will graduate next year, and I would like to go to graduate school in Canada.

'Graduate School' should not be capitalized in mid-sentence unless part of a proper name; consistency of tense is fine. Use lowercase 'graduate school'. Suggestion: Only capitalize proper nouns; keep general program names lowercase.

× I hope to apply for a master's program in UH, creating video design UMM because I want to deepen my knowledge and gain international experience.

✓ I hope to apply for a master's program in creating video design at UMM because I want to deepen my knowledge and gain international experience.

Preposition and word order errors: 'in UH, creating video design UMM' is unclear. Use 'at UMM' to indicate the university and 'a master's program in creative video design' (or 'creative' instead of 'creating'). Also correct program name order. Suggestion: Use 'a master's program in [subject] at [university]'. Replace 'creating' with 'creative' if that was intended.