Opportunities— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more grammatical, concise and specific. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct past-tense and word order, avoid vague phrases like "activities took over", and add one or two specific examples of activities using a linking word. Keep to no more than five sentences.

Ejemplo: Yes, I did. When I was in primary school the school organised many extracurricular activities, and my parents encouraged me to join them. For example, I enrolled in the school choir and a weekend science club, which helped me become more confident and curious.

Sugerencia: Make the opinion direct, fix grammar and word choice (e.g., 'try new things' and 'develop more resilience and discipline'), and add a brief reason or example linked by a connector like 'because' or 'for example'. Avoid filler sounds.

Ejemplo: Yes, I totally agree because trying new things helps people develop resilience and discipline. For example, learning a new sport or language forces you to overcome challenges and build routines.

× When I was in primary school, there were a lot of activities took over in my school and my parents once advised me that you can enroll in that.

✓ When I was in primary school, there were a lot of activities taking place at my school, and my parents once advised me that I could enroll in them.

The sentence has a sentence structure error and problems with verb forms and pronouns. 'A lot of activities took over' is incorrect; use 'taking place' or 'held' to show events occurring. 'My parents once advised me that you can enroll in that' mixes past reporting with present modality and uses the wrong pronoun and demonstrative. Change 'you can' to 'I could' to keep past perspective and match the subject, and 'that' to 'them' to refer to 'activities' (plural). Suggestions: use consistent tense when reporting past advice (could/enrolled), use 'taking place' or 'held' for events, and match pronouns to their referents.

× there were a lot of activities took over in my school

✓ there were a lot of activities taking place at my school

The clause uses two finite verbs ('were' and 'took') incorrectly. Use the -ing form 'taking' after 'there were' to form the reduced relative clause describing ongoing events. Also replace 'in my school' with 'at my school' for correct preposition use when talking about events happening on school grounds.

× my parents once advised me that you can enroll in that

✓ my parents once advised me that I could enroll in them

The original uses 'you' which shifts perspective from the narrator to a general or second-person address; in reported speech about past advice, maintain the original subject by using 'I'. Also 'that' is vague and should be 'them' to refer back to the plural 'activities'. Change 'can' to 'could' to maintain past tense consistency.

× if people uh, are trying to new things, they will more umm, resilience and uh, discipline.

✓ if people try new things, they will develop more resilience and discipline.

Use the simple present 'try' in conditional 'if' clauses to express general truth, not 'are trying to'. Also 'trying to new things' incorrectly includes 'to'; use 'try new things'. 'They will more resilience' lacks a verb; use 'develop' or 'gain' to show acquiring qualities. Remove filler sounds (uh, umm) in speech transcripts for clarity. Suggestions: use 'If + simple present' for real conditionals and follow with appropriate verbs like 'develop'.