Opportunities— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more natural and concise: begin with a clear topic sentence, fix grammar (e.g. 'I was keen' or 'I always liked'), avoid filler words (‘uh’, ‘so like’), and reduce redundancy. Add one specific detail about a memorable activity and its impact using a linking word to make the answer coherent. Keep it to no more than 4–5 sentences.

Ejemplo: Yes. I was always keen to try new activities as a child because my parents encouraged me to explore different interests. For example, they sent me to summer camps where I learned swimming and hiking, which helped me become more confident and enjoy outdoor activities. As a result, I still like being active and trying new hobbies.

Sugerencia: Provide a clear opinion and support it with concise, logical reasons. Remove hesitations and repetition, use linking words (for example, therefore, because) to connect ideas, and give one concrete benefit or example. Aim for 2–4 sentences and correct grammar (e.g. 'people should try different things' not 'have to').

Ejemplo: Yes, I think people should try different things because it helps them discover new interests and develop useful skills. For example, learning sports or a musical instrument can improve health and confidence, so trying new activities is beneficial.

× Uh, as a child, I always keen on having multiple chances and possibilities to take part in new activities.

✓ Uh, as a child, I was always keen on having many opportunities to take part in new activities.

The sentence is missing the verb 'was' for correct tense and subject-complement structure; this is a subject-linking verb issue categorized as adjective use (keen requires a linking verb). Also 'multiple chances and possibilities' is wordy and awkward; 'many opportunities' is more natural. Suggestion: include the appropriate form of 'be' (was) after the subject and use a single natural noun phrase like 'many opportunities'.

× And my parents were so like, supported, supportive.

✓ And my parents were very supportive.

The original uses filler 'so like' and redundant words 'supported, supportive.' Use a single appropriate adjective 'supportive' with an intensifier 'very' if emphasis is needed. Avoid filler phrases and repeated meanings. Ensure adjective directly modifies the noun with a linking verb.

× They always encouraged me to take part in summer camps and even new activities like swimming, hiking, crafts.

✓ They always encouraged me to take part in summer camps and other activities like swimming, hiking and crafts.

Grammatically the original is mostly acceptable, but 'even new activities' is slightly awkward; 'other activities' fits better. Also ensure parallel list uses 'and' before the last item. This addresses plural/word choice to improve fluency.

× Of course, people have to try different thing things they can because, uh, you know, probably life is fun until and unless we try new things and we should definitely try keen on learning new things because, uh, life is such a mess and we engaging ourselves through those activities make it fun.

✓ Of course, people should try as many different things as they can because life is more fun when we try new things. We should be keen on learning, because when life is difficult, engaging in activities makes it more enjoyable.

This long sentence has multiple problems: 'different thing things' is a pluralization/typo error (use 'things'); 'have to try different things they can' is ungrammatical—use 'should try as many different things as they can' for idiomatic expression; 'until and unless' is redundant and incorrect in this context; 'try keen on learning' wrongly combines verbs and adjective—use 'be keen on learning'; 'we engaging ourselves through those activities make it fun' lacks proper auxiliary and subject-verb agreement—correct to 'engaging in activities makes it more enjoyable.' Suggestions: split into shorter sentences, use correct quantifier construction 'as many ... as', include linking verbs, and ensure subject-verb agreement.