Part 1
Examinador
Do you often feel tired?
Candidato
Yes, I feel sometimes I feel tired. For example, when I walk to the road of time or study, I see I feel very exhausted so I feel tired.
Examinador
When would you feel tired?
Candidato
When I work a lot of time or study a great deal of time, I usually feel exhausted because working wrong time use our brain so we need to rest to improve my brain.
Examinador
What do you do when you feel tired?
Candidato
When I feel tired, I usually take a nap only twenty minutes because taking a nap have a good effect of my health and I can concentrate on something after I take nap so I usually take nap.
Examinador
When you feel tired, do you still go out with your friends?
Candidato
Well maybe I will still go out with my friend because going out with my friend me probably I feel exhausted but it's fun time for me so and I like it is time to hang out with my friends so maybe I be wrong.
Do you often feel tired?
Puntuación: 30.0Sugerencia: 最初に「Yes, quite often.」のように質問へ直接答えましょう。「I feel」が繰り返されているため、重複を避けてください。また、「walk to the road of time」は意味が伝わりにくい表現です。疲れる状況を「after a long walk」や「after studying for several hours」のように具体的に述べ、理由を一つ加えると自然です。
Ejemplo: Yes, quite often. I usually feel tired after studying for several hours or walking a long distance. I feel much better after taking a short break.
When would you feel tired?
Puntuación: 30.0Sugerencia: 「When I work a lot of time」は「When I work for a long time」、「study a great deal of time」は「study for a long time」とすると自然です。疲れる理由は「集中力を保つのが難しくなる」など、自分の経験として説明しましょう。「our brain」と「my brain」の視点を混在させず、接続語を使って短くまとめてください。
Ejemplo: I tend to feel tired when I work or study for a long time. After a few hours, it becomes harder to concentrate, so I usually take a short break.
What do you do when you feel tired?
Puntuación: 45.0Sugerencia: 答えの内容は質問に合っており、昼寝の長さや効果も説明できています。「take a nap only twenty minutes」は「take a nap for about twenty minutes」、「taking a nap have」は「taking a nap has」と直しましょう。最後の「so I usually take nap」は内容が重複するため削り、昼寝の後にどう変わるかを一度だけ述べると簡潔です。
Ejemplo: When I feel tired, I usually take a nap for about twenty minutes. It helps me feel refreshed, and I can concentrate better afterwards.
When you feel tired, do you still go out with your friends?
Puntuación: 35.0Sugerencia: 「Yes」か「It depends」のように、まず立場をはっきり示してください。「going out with my friend me probably I feel exhausted」は文の形が崩れているため、「Although I may feel tired, I enjoy spending time with my friends」のように言い換えましょう。「friend/friends」の単複にも注意し、理由を一つに絞って簡潔に答えると伝わりやすくなります。
Ejemplo: Yes, I sometimes do. Although I might feel tired, spending time with my friends is fun and helps me relax. If I’m exhausted, though, I prefer to stay home.
× Yes, I feel sometimes I feel tired.
✓ Yes, I sometimes feel tired.
The adverb sometimes should come before the main verb feel. Avoid repeating I feel; the corrected sentence expresses the idea once.
× When I work a lot of time or study a great deal of time, I usually feel exhausted because working wrong time use our brain so we need to rest to improve my brain.
✓ When I work for a long time or study for a long time, I usually feel exhausted because working for a long time uses our brains, and we need to rest to improve my brain.
Use for to describe how long an activity lasts: work for a long time and study for a long time. The phrase working wrong time is also corrected to working for a long time to express the intended duration.
× When I work a lot of time or study a great deal of time, I usually feel exhausted because working wrong time use our brain so we need to rest to improve my brain.
✓ When I work for a long time or study for a long time, I usually feel exhausted because working for a long time uses our brains, and we need to rest to improve my brain.
The gerund phrase working for a long time is singular, so it takes the singular verb uses, not use.
× When I feel tired, I usually take a nap only twenty minutes because taking a nap have a good effect of my health and I can concentrate on something after I take nap so I usually take nap.
✓ When I feel tired, I usually take a nap for only twenty minutes because taking a nap has a good effect on my health, and I can concentrate on something after I take a nap.
Use for before a duration, as in for only twenty minutes. The standard preposition in the expression is effect on, not effect of.
× When I feel tired, I usually take a nap only twenty minutes because taking a nap have a good effect of my health and I can concentrate on something after I take nap so I usually take nap.
✓ When I feel tired, I usually take a nap for only twenty minutes because taking a nap has a good effect on my health, and I can concentrate on something after I take a nap.
Taking a nap is a singular gerund phrase, so it requires the singular verb has, not have.
× When I feel tired, I usually take a nap only twenty minutes because taking a nap have a good effect of my health and I can concentrate on something after I take nap so I usually take nap.
✓ When I feel tired, I usually take a nap for only twenty minutes because taking a nap has a good effect on my health, and I can concentrate on something after I take a nap.
Nap is a singular countable noun, so it needs an article. Use a nap both times: after I take a nap and I usually take a nap.
× Well maybe I will still go out with my friend because going out with my friend me probably I feel exhausted but it's fun time for me so and I like it is time to hang out with my friends so maybe I be wrong.
✓ Well, maybe I will still go out with my friend. Going out with my friend may make me feel exhausted, but it is fun for me, and I like spending time with my friends, so maybe I am wrong.
The original has an incomplete and disordered clause: going out with my friend me probably I feel exhausted. Use a clear subject and verb structure, such as Going out with my friend may make me feel exhausted. Also, I like it is time does not form a grammatical clause; I like spending time expresses the intended idea clearly.
× Well maybe I will still go out with my friend because going out with my friend me probably I feel exhausted but it's fun time for me so and I like it is time to hang out with my friends so maybe I be wrong.
✓ Well, maybe I will still go out with my friend. Going out with my friend may make me feel exhausted, but it is a fun time for me, and I like spending time with my friends, so maybe I am wrong.
Fun time is a singular countable noun phrase here, so it needs the article a: a fun time.
× Well maybe I will still go out with my friend because going out with my friend me probably I feel exhausted but it's fun time for me so and I like it is time to hang out with my friends so maybe I be wrong.
✓ Well, maybe I will still go out with my friend. Going out with my friend may make me feel exhausted, but it is fun for me, and I like spending time with my friends, so maybe I am wrong.
Do not use so and together in this sentence. Choose the conjunction that expresses the relationship between the ideas; here, and connects the two positive points, while so introduces the conclusion.
× Well maybe I will still go out with my friend because going out with my friend me probably I feel exhausted but it's fun time for me so and I like it is time to hang out with my friends so maybe I be wrong.
✓ Well, maybe I will still go out with my friend. Going out with my friend may make me feel exhausted, but it is fun for me, and I like spending time with my friends, so maybe I am wrong.
Use the present-tense verb am with the subject I. Be is not the correct present-tense form in I be wrong.