Tiredness— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question (e.g., “Sometimes, yes” or “Not often”). Use one or two supporting details with linking words and avoid repeating the same idea. Mention specific reasons or examples briefly to make your answer more coherent.

Ejemplo: Sometimes, yes. In summer I sleep a lot—around twelve hours—so I rarely feel tired; however, as autumn approaches I get about seven hours of sleep which isn’t enough, so I tend to feel more tired during this season.

Sugerencia: Open with a direct topic sentence and shorten long, repetitive descriptions. Use linking words (for example, “because” or “so”) and provide one specific consequence or example. Avoid overly poetic phrasing like “from the deep within me to the surface.”

Ejemplo: I usually feel tired right after school because I’ve been active all day. As a result, I often lie down and want to rest or nap, but usually I can’t because I have homework to do.

Sugerencia: Begin with a clear, direct statement of your typical action. Then add a contrasting detail using a linking word like “however” to explain exceptions. Be specific about routines (e.g., nap length or gym time) to add concrete content.

Ejemplo: When I’m tired, I usually try to take a short nap or relax for about 20–30 minutes. However, on weekdays I often can’t because of homework and the gym, so I just exercise to wake myself up.

Sugerencia: Answer directly (yes or no) and then give two brief reasons linked logically (for example, “because... and because...” or “although..., I still...”). Keep sentences short and specific—mention how often or give an example of scheduling difficulties.

Ejemplo: Yes, I usually still go out with my friends, although it’s not ideal because I lose sleep. I don’t want to miss chances to meet them since our schedules rarely align, so we often meet even if I’m tired.

× It depends on the season when you ask me.

✓ It depends on the season when you ask me.

No grammatical error; sentence correctly uses present simple to describe a general truth. No change needed.

× In summer I probably would say no because I have a lot of sleep at least twelve hours a day and right now as autumn is approaching I'm trying to adapt to my daily routine and I do lack some sleep.

✓ In summer I would probably say no because I get a lot of sleep, at least twelve hours a day, but now that autumn is approaching I'm trying to adapt my daily routine and I am lacking some sleep.

Issues: word order and choice of quantifier/verb. 'Have a lot of sleep' is non-idiomatic; use 'get a lot of sleep' or 'sleep a lot'. 'Probably would say' is better as 'would probably say'. 'Right now as autumn is approaching' is awkward; use 'now that autumn is approaching'. Use 'I am lacking some sleep' or 'I lack some sleep' for clarity. Improve punctuation with commas to separate clauses.

× I have at least seven hours, but it's not enough for me and my body.

✓ I get at least seven hours, but it's not enough for me or my body.

Use 'get' instead of 'have' for sleeping hours. Use 'or' instead of 'and' in 'not enough for me or my body' because the meaning is that neither the speaker nor their body gets enough rest.

× I mostly feel tired right after school when I come home and have a few hours of nothing to do and I just lay there and I can feel the tiredness coming from the deep within me to the surface and I really want to relax for a bit more, maybe have some sleep but it usually isn't what I'm doing.

✓ I mostly feel tired right after school when I come home and have a few hours with nothing to do. I just lie there and can feel the tiredness rising from deep within me to the surface, and I really want to relax for a bit or maybe sleep, but I usually don't.

Multiple issues: 'lay' is the past tense and transitive; the correct present tense verb is 'lie' (to recline). 'A few hours of nothing to do' is better as 'a few hours with nothing to do'. 'Feel the tiredness coming from the deep within me to the surface' is wordy; use 'rising from deep within me to the surface'. 'Have some sleep' is non-idiomatic; 'sleep' or 'take a nap' is better. Simplify the ending to match register and tense.

× Mostly when I'm tired, I'm trying to have some sleep and just relax doing nothing, but for most days it isn't the case because on weekdays I have a lot of homework and schoolwork to do after which I have to go to the gym and get some moving in.

✓ Mostly when I'm tired, I try to sleep and just relax, but usually that's not possible because on weekdays I have a lot of homework and schoolwork to do, after which I have to go to the gym and exercise.

Use simple present 'I try' to express habitual actions instead of 'I'm trying'. 'Have some sleep' is non-idiomatic; use 'sleep'. 'For most days' should be 'usually'. 'Get some moving in' is informal and awkward; 'exercise' or 'work out' is clearer. Rearranged clause order and added commas for clarity.

× Right now I mostly do, but it's probably a problem because it would be better if I got some sleeping hours in, but I'm really scared that we won't have another opportunity to meet because we have really different schedules and it's really hard for us to even find a minute to see each other.

✓ Right now I mostly do, but that is probably a problem because it would be better if I got more sleep. I'm really worried that we won't have another opportunity to meet because our schedules are very different and it's hard for us to find even a minute to see each other.

Replace 'it's probably a problem' with 'that is probably a problem' for clarity. 'Got some sleeping hours in' is awkward; use 'got more sleep'. 'Scared' is acceptable but 'worried' is more natural in this context. 'We have really different schedules' is fine but 'our schedules are very different' is smoother. Move 'even' to 'find even a minute' and simplify phrasing.