Tiredness— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and one or two specific reasons. Avoid repeating ‘I always feel tired’ and replace vague phrases like ‘on a phone playing’ with precise activities. Use a linking phrase to connect causes.

Ejemplo: Yes, I often feel tired. Mainly this is because I have many household chores to do, and I also spend long periods on my phone watching videos, which leaves me mentally drained. Because of these two factors, I usually lack energy by the evening.

Sugerencia: Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two distinct situations with brief explanations and use linking words for coherence (e.g., “also”, “because”, “for example”). Correct small grammar issues (e.g., avoid sentence fragments like “Since carrying…”).

Ejemplo: I usually feel tired at two times: when I wake up and after long days out. For example, I wake up tired because I don't sleep well at night, and I also get exhausted after shopping because carrying heavy bags and walking a lot drains my energy.

Sugerencia: Good structure and specific details. Improve by using more precise vocabulary (“motivational videos” is good; clarify “a beat” which is unclear) and include a linking phrase to show sequence. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

Ejemplo: When I feel tired, I usually take a short nap of about twenty to thirty minutes because it helps me recharge without feeling groggy. If I still need more energy, I watch short motivational videos or listen to upbeat music to lift my mood and stay focused.

× I've always been on a phone playing and watching something and I'm very lonely so I always feel tired.

✓ I've always been on my phone, playing and watching things, and I'm very lonely, so I always feel tired.

Use 'on my phone' (possessive) and parallel gerund phrases: 'playing and watching things'. Add commas to separate clauses. 'Something' is vague; 'things' fits general activities.

× I also get exhausted after a long day of shopping or being outside. Since carrying heavy bags and walking along drains my energy.

✓ I also get exhausted after a long day of shopping or being outside, because carrying heavy bags and walking drain my energy.

The original used 'Since' to start a sentence fragment. Combine into one sentence and use 'drain' to agree with the compound subject 'carrying heavy bags and walking'. 'Since' can mean 'because' but must connect properly; here 'because' is clearer.

× When I feel tired, I usually take a short nap for about twenty to thirty minutes because it helps me recharge without making me groggy.

✓ When I feel tired, I usually take a short nap of about twenty to thirty minutes because it helps me recharge without making me groggy.

Both 'for about' and 'of about' are acceptable; 'of about' is slightly more natural here. No major grammar error but phrasing improvement clarifies duration expression.

× If I still need a boost, I watch a beat or motivational videos to lift my mood and increase my energy.

✓ If I still need a boost, I watch upbeat or motivational videos to lift my mood and increase my energy.

'Beat' was incorrectly used; 'upbeat' (adjective) correctly modifies 'videos'. The corrected sentence uses the proper adjective form and parallel structure.

× Since carrying heavy bags and walking along drains my energy.

✓ Since carrying heavy bags and walking along drain my energy.

The verb must agree with the compound subject 'carrying heavy bags and walking'. Use plural verb 'drain' rather than singular 'drains'. Also, avoid starting a sentence with 'Since' as a fragment; preferable to join to preceding sentence.